The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me
by taken with you
Summary: Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared to believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance. The Marauders battle with pranks, sex, and love? LEJP.
1. Consuming Contradictions

**AN**: R&R sounds like "rawr" if you don't say the "and" part. So rawr me:)

J.K. Rowling is a mastermind.

---

Lily let out a small gasp of pain as she felt her shoulder blade bang the wall behind them. In return, she stubbed James's foot as she pushed her lips against his. He stifled a moan at the sudden burst of discomfort and pushed all his negative thoughts into the kiss. She felt his response with electricity and took it all in, accepting every quick maneuver he offered.

He was furious, she could tell. But he wasn't the only one.

She almost stopped the contact between their lips when James began to grope at her skin. He moved his right hand slowly from her neck, down her arms, and towards her hips. He let it rest there as his other hand began to trace small shapes against her injured shoulder blade, massaging it to ease the burn.

Lily, in return, moved her hands away from James's unruly hair and towards his chest. She tugged at his tie, and pulled at his shirt.

At her sudden action, James quickly pulled away from the kiss, leaving the two of them gasping for air. His hazel eyes were bright and blazing as he stared right into her energetic green ones.

"I didn't think you were that kind of girl, Evans," he snarled at her after catching his breath. He was slightly panting, and there was a subtle glare in his expression.

Her instant reaction was a glower, but she quickly changed suit and shot him a flirtatious smile. She began to run her hand up his bicep, and she felt him twitch.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Potter," she purred, her voice coming out breathy and confident. Her face was a few inches away from his, and she leaned in closer so that their skin was now in contact. She pressed her lips onto his cheek and began to work her way down from there. "So you really shouldn't assume," she mumbled against his skin.

He shivered under her touch and pulled away from her.

"No, I shouldn't," he replied, a small edge to his voice.

He grabbed her shoulders and backed her back up against the wall. He moved his arms from hers and onto the dark surface behind them; he had her pinned.

"You surprise me, Evans."

Lily just glared at him, as she was stuck and couldn't do anything else.

"Let go of me," she hissed.

James gave her an arrogant smirk, and a small hint of amusement crept into his eyes.

"But why, princess?" he asked her. "I think I like you where you are."

She groaned in annoyance and narrowed her eyes. She began to squirm and struggle under his firm grasp. She felt him lean in closer, and she could smell butterbeer and chocolate in his breath.

"I'm not afraid of you," she whispered softly.

Truth was she was nervous and scared. Her legs were jelly, and her mind mush. It wasn't helping at all that she was stuck with the one person she loathed and feared. She was just fighting back with whatever he threw at her. She and James Potter: wedged in a closet. And to make matters worse, she could feel the sexual tension building.

They weren't supposed to be in this situation, but it happened. And she let it happen.

They had been arguing over something silly like usual when the little arguments became insults, and these insults pissed the hell out of James. That was when he bounced back with a kiss. And not a romantic kiss that blew you off your feet, but a hard, filthy kiss.

The one that insults you and you only kiss back just to show you're not afraid of the challenge.

"Aren't you?" James replied, just as quiet.

As she was hastily thinking of something witty to quip back at him, Lily was hit, yet again, with another one of his angry kisses. It was like he was telling her that he hated her, and since she felt the same way, she responded boldly.

As the kiss deepened, Lily felt James's slow release from her body. She took advantage of her freedom and lightly rested her hands on his chest. She pushed him softly, and he took a step back. She continued to kiss him, her mind working hard as to how she would escape James's hold. She subtly slipped one of her hands under his shirt and felt at his skin. He was hot and flushed under her touch, and she felt him jerk a little. She slowly moved her other hand under his shirt as well, except this hand went further down.

She heard him sigh when her hand reached his hips, dangerously nearing his pelvis bone. She deliberately went soft and slow; teasing him ever so slightly.

And then, just as quickly as she put her hand on him, she pulled away.

His eyes shot open and she pushed him hard out of the way. She quickly lunged for the door and flung it open.

The common room was empty.

"That was a bitch move," Lily heard James declare as he followed her out. He was fiddling with his tie and straightening out his wrinkled dress shirt.

Lily turned around and looked indifferent. She casually pulled at her skirt and then crossed her arms, looking point blank into his eyes.

"You deserved it," she spat out at him. "It was the only way I could get out of there. It's so obvious to see what you want, I just used it to my advantage."

"What game are you playing at?" he replied coolly, staring at her straight in the face.

She felt his smoldering look, and agreed one hundred percent.

"Yours."

---

**AN**: Lily and James are so adorable. And I especially love Sirius. You'll be seeing him a lot. And Remus, too. And I suppose, a little of Peter. Okay, okay. In general, you'll be seeing a lot of the Marauders. Because they are a genius group of brilliant kids.

I love the fact that James and Sirius are so immature and mischievous. I also like to think of James as arrogant. It just makes him more fun to write and romantic. And not in the lovey dovey way, but romantic in an adventurous way.


	2. His Majesty, I Presume

**AN**: I love all of you who reviewed:) more at the bottom.

J.K. Rowling is a genius.

---

"Ugh," James Potter groaned as the Great Hall began to fill up quickly. People came in from all over the place and the door was bursting open every second or so. He laid his head against his strong forearms and sighed deeply. "Must people be coming in now?" he grumbled in annoyance. As he jerked his head towards the people around him, his dark black hair fell into his warm colored eyes and they contrasted beautifully.

Sitting right next to him was Sirius Black who laughed at his distraught friend and smacked him on the back. James winced.

"You okay, Prongs?" Sirius chirped in mock-concern. "You look a little frustrated."

James lifted his head so that his chin rested on his arms. "People are being freakishly annoying today," he muttered, his sharp hazel eyes darkening into a deep brown of irritation.

"James," Remus Lupin lazily scolded, not looking up from his book.

"What?" James growled, his eyes darting towards the light haired boy.

"You're forgetting the world doesn't revolve around you, Prongs," Remus replied evenly. He turned the page in his book.

"You're annoying too," James threw out as he turned his head away from his peers.

Sirius chuckled a little, teeth showing, and dimples surfacing. His handsome features were enhancing every second as his smile got bigger. His stormy gray eyes were clouded with amusement as he watched his friend grumble, sigh, and mutter. Something was up.

"You should eat something, mate," Sirius commented with his mouth full. "It would lighten up your mood."

James sighed and lifted his head off of the table. He glanced at his best friend who was stuffing his mouth as if he hadn't eaten for days. James was a bit hungry, he had to admit.

"Yeah, alright," he mumbled, reaching for a piece of toast. He bit into it. And as hungry as he was, the bread tasted like dry chalk, just crumbling into his mouth. He dropped the piece of toast onto his plate and played with it, his cheek leaning into his unoccupied palm and his elbow propped up on top of the table. Talk about manners.

"You're not hungry?" Sirius asked, gulping down his food. "That's a first."

"Not that I'm not hungry… more like…" James sighed deeply. He was bothered by the fact that he couldn't explain what he was trying to say. "I don't know," he finished lamely.

He _was_ hungry; just, not for food.

"Listen," James said, suddenly standing up and gathering his things. "I have to go. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Wait, what?" Sirius asked, jumping up as well. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere important, just away from here and all these… distractions…" James explained, but his sentence trailed off as he was walking away. Something clearly was on his mind.

Before Sirius could say anything else, James was already out of the door and out of sight. Sirius let out an escaping sigh and ran a hand through his dark shaggy hair. He sat back down, grabbing at the newly arrived chocolate frogs as he did so.

"I wonder what's gnawing at his hoofs," he muttered before he bit into his treat.

"Who knows," Remus replied absentmindedly. "Perhaps someone might have defied the King or something. You know how he gets when people reject him."

"Ah," Sirius smirked knowingly, tapping at his chin. "You're talking about Lily, aren't you?"

Remus's normally indifferent brown eyes flickered with mirth. He continued to read.

Peter Pettigrew's eyebrows knitted together in concern and he leaned in towards Remus and Sirius. "Do you really think it's Lily?" he asked.

"Oh it's Lily alright," Sirius replied. "The bloke's been in love with her since day one. I bet she's done something to upset him. But he won't admit it, of course. See, that would be showing that he's predictable. And you know James, he likes spontaneity."

Peter considered this. "Hm, well, whatever it is, I think we should help him," he stated.

Remus turned his head and gave the blonde haired, blue eyed, mousy-looking boy a sarcastic look.

"Well if you guys want to, go ahead. I can't. I'm busy," he said flatly in a monotone voice. "I have an empty stomach, two tests in the next three hours, and an errand I have to do hanging over my head. I was up all night writing my essay for Professor Slughorn, and I've yet to study. I don't have time to be helping James out with his petty little problems about how the world isn't big enough or how Hogwarts doesn't have enough adventure."

Sirius barked out laughing, showing his admiration and agreement of Remus's statement.

"And what are you laughing about?" Remus nimbly shot at him. "You're just as bad as he is. You're like the King's brother who was crowned Czar of another country."

Sirius stopped laughing, but his smile never went away.

"Oy, Moony," he said, reaching for a piece of toast. "No need to be a disheartening influence. Don't take your stress out on James and me. You're just frustrated that you think you didn't study enough."

Remus rolled his eyes and returned to his book.

"I don't see why you bother reading that stuff anyway," Sirius continued, pointing his bread at Remus. "I mean, you already know it. And besides, it's Professor Flitwick. His tests are always easy. You could sleep through his class and still pass his tests with flying colors."

Remus shut his book loudly and set it down onto the table.

"Well, I'm just not as naturally smart as you and James are," he replied honestly.

"Rubbish," Sirius interjected.

"And now I can't concentrate," Remus continued, sounding a tad bit exasperated. He reached for some food before adding, "Especially with that constant chattering you've got going on."

Sirius dropped everything and grinned. "Great, you're done!" And before Remus could even finish off his chocolate frog, Sirius leaped across the table and pulled at him and Peter. "Let's go do something!"

Sirius was always looking for a journey.

---

James walked around the great empty halls with his hands in his pocket, and his flawless face perfectly content. His eyes glinted in the sunlight's reach, and it made them look golden.

It was a nice, peaceful, sunny day, and he was enjoying it immensely. No one was around, and it was quiet. There was always something about a day like this that was intriguing, and a few ideas came to James's head.

He walked through the entrance, and went down the stairs leading outside. Everything was green and healthy looking. Even the lake looked calm and empty. He began looking all around him, trying to pick a particular someone out of the distant crowds of people.

"I hear you're a shoo-in for Head Boy next year," he heard someone say behind him.

He turned around and saw Peter, looking small and nervous.

"Wormtail!" James said in amusement, welcoming his friend. "What are you doing here?"

"I see you're in a better mood," Peter commented happily. His blonde hair wisped over his face as a gush of wind flew past him and James. He pulled it out of his way. "Sirius is trying to convince Remus to go with him and sneak into Slytherin's common room," he explained. "They're still arguing, so I thought I'd look for you. It's especially nice out today."

"Yes, it is," James agreed. He walked over to his friend and put his arm around him. "Too nice to let it go to waste, actually," he said, a grin surfacing on his face. "But we'll talk more when Remus and Sirius find us. And what's this thing about Head boy? You don't really believe that, do you?"

Peter beamed and nodded his head. "Of course," he said excitedly. "You're a shoo-in for almost everything; aside from Sirius, that is."

James chuckled and nodded his head. "Yeah, well, you know. When it comes to Sirius and me, it's an arms race. But the difference is that he has his options open and I…" he trailed off. "Well, I have my eye on something," he said. There was a small mysterious smile playing at his lips and his eyes twinkled.

"You? James Potter? You actually like someone?" Peter asked in mock-disbelief.

"Hey now," James replied in defense. "Just because of my past track record with girls is quite similar to Sirius's does not mean I didn't like them. I had fun… sometimes." He said this as his eyes squinted, and his mouth twisted in concern. He was looking around the yard, searching for a small glimpse of bright red hair.

Peter laughed nervously and nodded his head. "Sometimes," he repeated. He wished he could say that. That he has fun with girls sometimes. But he's never even been with a girl to say that he's had fun at all. Peter new James's mystery woman was Lily. Everyone knew James Potter fancied Lily.

Peter sighed. "I wish I could have any girl I wanted."

James let out a hearty laugh and gave Peter a pat on the back as they continued to walk. Peter blushed in embarrassment.

"You could… if you really wanted to," James finally said after he stifled some snickers.

"Do you really think so?" Peter asked, his eyes giving off a hopeful gleam and his voice sounding eager.

"Of course," James replied seriously, lying straight through his teeth. "You just have to be confident."

James continued to smile in delight as Peter was in great thought.

A comfortable silence came between the two.

"Hey, James," Peter started slowly. "I've always been curious about this…"

"About what?"

"Do you think… well, that is… do you think if Lily had said yes to your constant proposal of a date last year, you'd be the way you are with women?"

The corner of James's lip quirked up and his eyes danced with laughter. "Are you saying because Lily wouldn't go out with me, I turned to dating many different girls?"

"Well…" Peter said, trailing off. "It kind of fits, doesn't it? I mean, you reacted, right? I've learned most people try to do that. Make the other jealous…"

James laughed and shook his head. "It's nothing like that, Peter. Girls just… they get boring after a while," he laughed again as he pulled his arm off of Peter. "I suppose you could say I'm just like Sirius."

"Then why—"

"It's because of the way I am…" he interrupted, his voice becoming more distant. "That Lily won't accept my 'constant proposal of a date.'"

"Oh," Peter said in a small voice.

And for once, he saw James off his high horse and on the ground with the rest of the world.

---

**AN**: I'm really glad you liked the first chapter:D Actually, I was going to start this story entirely different but with the same plot. Eventually that kissing scene would have had occurred, but I didn't expect it to be in the beginning. What happened was, I was beginning to write the first chapter and then my mind went blank. It was weird because I already knew the plot, and it basically revolved around that scene. So, I just had to get it out of the way and when I finished it, it kind of just fell into place as the first chapter. Things are starting off slow and short, but they'll eventually pick up speed and the chapters will become longer. 'Til then, I'm just introducing everyone and hoping you're getting familiar with everything and the basic plot. Thank you again for all the reviews! They're very inspiring and appreciated! I'll respond as quickly as I can to them:) Keep them coming and I'll try my best to please!


	3. Silent Emotions

**AN**: I love you, all. Tremendously:)

J.K. Rowling is a metaphorical god.

---

"You're joking, right?"

Remus released a hopeless sigh and stared at his two best friends. His light brown hair fluttered with the leaves and his eyes had lost a bit of its usual vibrancy. He was much too tired to even try to shoot back a witty response.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed, gesturing wildly. "I'm one hundred percent serious. Just a simple Gryffindor tie will do and it'll send the message."

The four young friends were under their trademark tree, just lolling around on the grass and doing pretty much nothing. Peter was preoccupied with the lake, being fascinated by the ripples and James was at Remus's feet while Sirius was to Remus's right. Sirius was, surprisingly, holding a book.

"I don't think so," Remus replied, shaking his head with an amused smile on his face.

"Regardless of if you like it or not, or even if you'll do it or not, I will," Sirius stated. "So if you see a tie on the door, it means _I'm_ busy with a girl so you better not enter. But if _you_, on the other hand, _don't_ put a tie on the door while _you're_ busy with a girl, it's actually a blow for _you_ and a treat for _me_." He grinned impishly and raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"My best friend, ladies and gentlemen of the wizarding world," Remus said to no one.

"It's a perfectly brilliant idea. And it's reasonable, too," Sirius explained. "See, it's not like I want you guys to walk in on me while I'm getting intimate with someone." He said it so easily, you'd of think he did it everyday. "And it's not like I can go into the girl's room. Trust me, I've tried. There seems to be a spell on the girl's dormitory. A girl, however, can easily go into any boy's room. And seeing as how we're sharing our room, I figured we needed a system."

"No."

"I'm in," James joined in promptly, "I like the idea." Go figure.

Sirius grinned at his reliance. At least someone was having the same thoughts. They looked towards Peter.

"I, er… I guess I'll be looking out for a yellow and red tie?"

"Excellent," Sirius responded with a satisfied grin.

"And you," James said suddenly, pointing at Remus. "Back to the matter at hand, come with us tonight. No one's going to notice. Even if you are a prefect, I highly doubt anyone will care."

"No," Remus again said flatly. "I have other plans."

Sirius snorted. "Sure you do, with your life being so busy and what not."

Remus looked at the former sharply. "Yes, it is. I've no interest in sneaking into Hogsmeade with you mindless pricks tonight. I do it once a month, and that's enough as it is."

"But I'm bored!" Sirius bellowed, hurling his book at the ground. "I want to see someone else other than another Hogwarts student. If you've seen them once, you've seen them before. And let me remind you, they're nothing interesting to look at."

"Yes," James agreed, pushing at Remus's shoes. "They're just boring people in boring clothes; gray everywhere."

Remus's shot him a sardonic smile. "James," he said slowly, pulling his feet away from the subject, "You're wearing a gray uniform."

James stared at him, quite aware of what Remus was trying to say. "But I'm generally interesting. When people see me, they see a charming smile and sexy hair. Not another gray suit. So you can't clump me in _that_ same category."

Remus gave him a pointed glare before rolling his eyes and sighing. "Never mind. Forget I mentioned it."

"So it's settled then," Sirius concluded, grinning at James. "You're going to The Three Broomsticks with us tonight."

"No," Remus said again before leaning his head against the tree. How was he going get that message through two of the thickest, most swelled heads all of London?

"Please?" Peter asked suddenly, look at Remus with hope. He didn't want to be stuck with James and Sirius in a pub. Especially with Madam Rosmerta being there.

Remus gave Peter an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Peter. I really am busy."

"Moony, love," James drawled out sarcastically, "Are you saying you have other friends than us?"

Remus stared straight at James, his facial features unenthusiastic.

"Alright, alright," James said hastily. "But who can be more important than us? You've got a date or something?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Always has to be about a girl, doesn't it?"

James grinned. "It usually is."

"Well, it isn't," Remus said. "If you must know, it's about my essay with Professor Slughorn. He wants to discuss it with me. Something about a club…"

"You're passing off a wonderful, potentially amazing life-experience to be with Slughorn in some snotty club?" Sirius asked in disbelief.

"_Professor _Slughorn," Remus corrected. "And going to a pub we've been to many times before isn't a life-experience."

Sirius gawked at Remus. And because he didn't get a response, he became quiet and crossed his arms. He slouched a little against the tree and fumed.

Remus sent him a side glance. "Don't tell me you're angry, now?"

"I'm not angry," Sirius retorted. "Why would I be?"

Remus lifted an eyebrow before giving out a satirical smiling. "Hm, well, as long as you're not mad."

Sirius's form slouched even lower, and he glared.

James, who was just as quiet as Sirius, dropped his back to the grass and rested his head above his arms. "I have to agree with Sirius," he finally said. This resulted in yet another sarcastic look from Remus. "It will be loads of fun. We'll drink and stay out all night. How does that not sound appealing?"

"Listen," Remus amended, "I don't even think I'm going to Professor Slughorn's thing any—keep your mouth shut James—way." He exhaled warily. "I'm not feeling up for anything, tonight."

At this piece of information, Sirius's ears perked up and he turned to Remus. It was then when Sirius noticed just how tired his friend looked. Remus's usually energetic eyes were clouded with fatigue, and his normally in-place hair looked slightly disheveled and battered.

"You have been looking frustrated lately…" Sirius agreed. "Are you okay?" he asked seriously, sitting up towards Remus.

"I'm fine. I've just been under the weather. It's just some… post-moon stuff, I suppose."

Concern never left Sirius's face. "We won't go if you don't want us to. We'll stay here and keep you company if you want."

Remus merely chuckled. "And ruin all your fun? No, no. You guys go on your rampage of exploit and male testosterone impulses without me. The thought of staying in with a nice book sound absolutely inviting."

James, Sirius, and Peter raised their eyebrows.

"A-Are you sure?" Peter asked.

Remus smiled gratefully, a small twinkle glistening from his eyes. "I'm sure."

"Maybe I shouldn't—"

"But you must, Wormtail," Remus interrupted. "If you don't go, then who's going to watch over these two idiots?" He gestured towards the other two boys. "They're bound to get hurt, with their silly wand fights, or perhaps they might simply fall. Yes, I can see it now. They're more than likely going to fall from either tripping over their cocky walk or from the weight of their big heads being too much for their body."

James and Sirius grinned.

---

"Remus is going to be very sorry for not joining us," Sirius announced as he, Peter, and James walked into The Three Broomsticks way past midnight. It was dark and slightly vacant, with only a couple of people here and there. There was also excessive background music. Perfect.

They instinctively pushed past the small crowds towards the bar's counter. While walking, James and Sirius eyed a group of girls who all seemed to be a little too tipsy. The girls immediately noticed the boy's presence (how could they not?) and Sirius sent them a flirtatious wink. They continued on their way and plopped themselves onto the barstools. Sirius did a little spin with his stool in a very child-like manner.

"So, Remus is going to be sorry, you say? I agree," James looked over at the giggling girls, "but you said that before I found my reason. So, why's he going to be sorry?"

"Well, aside from those very nice breeds of female," Sirius followed James view, "he's going to miss out on giving us his usual scolds and telling us the things we shouldn't be doing," he replied as he turned away and propped his arms up on the shiny brown surface. He craned his neck over the counter in search of a familiar goddess.

"S-So, we _are_ going to do something bad, then?" Peter stuttered nervously between the two. He was fiddling with his thumbs, wondering if he should be there or with Remus.

James looked away and at Peter. "Of course not, Tails," he responded, a sly grin forming on his face, "We never do anything _bad_, you know that."

Sirius chuckled and elbowed Peter lightly. "Yeah, Tails. You should know by now that we don't do anything _bad_."

Peter bit his lip and looked doubtful. "I-I don't know," he stammered, looking between the two grinning idiots. "Your definition of bad doesn't really match up with—"

"Tell you what," Sirius interrupted, "if you don't say anything to Remus and follow along with us, then… then I'll chat you up with any girl in the room that you like."

Peter's eyes widened greedily, but his expression quickly turned to suspicion. He looked at James. "You didn't tell him anything, did you?"

"Of course not," James replied, not missing a beat. He looked towards Sirius, who had that look of suppressed laughter, and shot him a subtle glare. In truth, Peter was the subject of James's and Sirius's amusement. They had been laughing about it earlier that afternoon. "You know Sirius, he's always thinking of girls. They seem to always be the solution."

Instead of being like a normal person and defending oneself, Sirius just smiled.

"Well… I suppose, then," Peter finally said. He let out a little sigh. "I'll be a good person and not mention anything. Honestly, the things I have to put up with."

James narrowed his eyes in mock-serious and looked towards Sirius. "Sure we should have brought him?" he asked jokingly. "He's sounding more and more like Remus if you ask me," he whispered.

Peter opened his mouth to protest, but quickly stopped himself at the sudden appearance of the pub's gracious beauty and bartender, Madam Rosmerta. Peter instantly blushed and he looked down, his thin blonde hair falling over his forehead as he did so.

Sirius and James exchanged glances, but the malicious amusement in their expressions were hidden by the lack of light in the bar. The boys instead swallowed their chuckles and turned their heads to the staring lady in front of them. She looked like she was in her early-twenties, perhaps a little older. She had long, luscious yellow hair and a petite body. She was wearing a simple white dress with a couple of brown scarves and turquoise bangles. How the dress showed off her beautiful curves made up for the plainness.

A tiny hint of a challenge clashed against Sirius's steel orbs.

"Well, well. Isn't it my three favorite customers," Madam Rosmerta greeted jokingly. Her big smile soon turned into a frown. "Hey now, one of you is missing. Where's the one who always has a book …Remus, was it?"

Sirius laughed. "We definitely come here too much if you notice one of us is missing," he said, completely ignoring the question.

"I also noticed it's a school night and not a Hogsmeade trip," she replied sweetly.

"Oh Rosmerta, darling, you're not implying anything, are you?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Does anyone know you're here?"

"Of course," James chimed in, glancing at Peter. "If we weren't allowed to be here, then we wouldn't."

"Right," Rosmerta said with a suspicious edge to it. They were, however, costumers. "Well, what can I do you for?"

James's eyes lit up, so that they were no longer a pretty hazel, but more like a mischievous burgundy. He let out an easy grin. "Three Firewhiskies, if you will."

As if on cue, Rosmerta gave him a sardonic stare. "Three Firewhiskies?" she asked, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

"Yes."

"And would you like a pack of smokes with that, too?"

"Well, if you're offering—"

"Maybe when you're older," Rosmerta interrupted, her bangles clinking as she moved away from the strikingly handsome teenager.

"Rosmerta, dear," Sirius interjected smoothly, helping out James, "there really isn't any harm in giving us a couple of shots of our requested beverage, is there?"

She gave him the same look she gave his best friend.

"Honestly, I don't see any reason why you _shouldn't_ give it to us." Sirius sent her a smile worthy of at least five swoons. He did it with such a grace it seemed as if it was well rehearsed. "We promise to behave ourselves."

Rosmerta laughed and placed her elbows against the bar's counter. She put her head between her hands. "Oh really?" she asked in a playfully sarcastic voice. "And can I trust you with your word?"

Sirius winked and leaned forward, his eyes visibly delighted. "Sweetums, you could trust me with your life."

Rosmerta's lips quirked and she giggled. "Hm, well, that's very assuring. Seeing how it's coming from you."

"Oh, but of course," Sirius responded quietly. He leaned in closer, letting his head tilt downwards a little so that his dark hair purposely fell into his eyes. He looked at her in a way that it was almost intimate, and Rosmerta was transfixed. "Rose," he murmured, "I'm, well, _we_, are young impressionable boys. And I was thinking better to be taught and served by a beauty like you than some dim-witted oaf who has no idea what he's talking about. C'mon, Rose." Rosmerta loved how he said that. "Introduce us to the desire of being intoxicated, to the feel of being under the influence. We're bound to learn sooner or later," he reasoned with a small smile.

Rosmerta laughed again, and she pushed back Sirius's shaggy bangs while pushing him away in the process as well. He was silly young boy, but a charming one at that. She gave all three boys a look of amusement before she sighed.

"I have to admit," she said with a slight smile, "you boys sure know how to persuade a girl. I'll give you some—but _just_ for tonight. Don't come in here next time thinking I'll be doing this again."

Sirius and James laughed in triumph. Peter was staring at Sirius oddly.

"You're a doll," Sirius responded with a grin as he watched Rosmerta fill up three mugs full of Firewhisky.

Rosmerta rolled her eyes and handed each boy their drink. "I know. I'm too nice."

"Yes you are," James agreed, taking a sip of his cold beverage. It was quite clear he was used to it, seeing how his expression didn't change at all. Peter, however, was a different story.

"An easy one, too," Rosmerta sighed. She gave James a squinted look, and turned to Sirius. "I'll be in the back, pretending I didn't see you boys today. Call Merve if you need some more assistance."

"Will do," Sirius responded, taking a huge gulp of his firewhisky.

As Rosmerta sauntered away and disappear into the curtains behind the bar, James turned to Sirius.

"That was bloody brilliant!"

Sirius grinned and took another gulp of his drink. "Oh, you know," he shrugged one shoulder, "the ladies can't seem to get enough of me."

"Calling her Rose," James muttered, his grin big, "I should have thought of that."

"And did you see that hair thing?"

James laughed, his eyes dancing intensely. He got up from his seat and moved over to Sirius's right. "Brilliant," he repeated. "Thanks for the drink, mate." He held up his mug. Sirius followed suit. They both looked to Peter.

"Don't you want in on this?" James asked.

Peter shook his head no and looked down at his drink with a frown.

"Your loss, then," Sirius said.

"Cheers!" James and Sirius clinked their drinks together, laughing as it sloshed all over them.

"You see that?" A low voice came to Peter. He turned to his left side to see a heavily cloaked person next to him. Whoever it was, he or she was playing with their drink.

"See what?" he responded curiously.

"Those buffoons," the figure said. "They don't even need alcohol to get them intoxicated. They get high just off themselves."

Peter narrowed his eyes suspiciously and leaned in towards his neighbor. It sounded awfully like someone he knew.

"Lily?" he whispered nervously.

The cloaked figure turned its head towards Peter and winked.

Peter saw a flash of dark green and smiled.

Lily put a finger to her lips. She wondered how long it'd be before the two fools laughing in the background would notice her appearance.

---

"And then, and then he was like," James slurred after slamming his empty mug onto the table. "Was like…"

Sirius snorted and burst out laughing, finding nothing so funny. James joined in as well.

Somehow, in the last hour, James and Sirius had migrated to the back of the pub. They ended up taking two whole tables that were fit for at least twelve people. Empty glasses were scattered all around the tables, upside down and tipped to the side. James was sprawled on four chairs, one leg hanging lazily to the side. His frame was shaking hard.

"And can you believe that?" James finally breathed, still laughing as he did.

"No! Can't say I do!" Sirius responded loudly. "Oh," he said suddenly, his eyes going hazy, "Will you look at that? We're empty." He jerked his head to the side. "Merve!" he yelled towards the wizard behind the bar, "Two more shots over here!"

The man named Merve looked over towards Peter, who was still sitting at the bar with a stranger. Peter nodded his head in confirmation. That was when Merve began to promptly fill up two mugs of Firewhisky.

"I don't see why you're allowing them this much alcohol," Lily whispered as she watched Merve serve the drinks to the two laughing jackals.

Peter looked down guiltily and turned towards his friends. "Last one," he said in his most assertive voice. He failed miserably since the two boys burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"Right, Wormy'" James mumbled, raising his mug up in the air. "Last one."

Lily looked at them with a disgusted face, and carefully sipped her butterbeer. She looked over at Peter's untouched Firewhisky. "Not thirsty, huh?"

"It doesn't settle too well with me," Peter admitted. "So, anyway, Lily, stop dodging the question! Why are you here?"

"Well," she looked at her drink in her hand, "to be honest… Remus sent me."

Peter's eyes widened.

"He thought maybe those two fools would convince you to get drunk with them and so he sent back up. And he was right in doing so because if your stomach did take to Firewhisky, then you'd be over there at Planet Git laughing about absolutely nothing."

Peter laughed a little. "Then why are you hiding in that big cloak of yours?"

"Just because I'm here to watch over them doesn't mean I'm going to let my appearance be known. Especially in front of someone like Potter. I figured you'd watch them." She sighed after putting down her drink. "Peter, you really should find some better friends than those boys over there. I don't see why you hang out with them at all. In fact, I don't see why anyone likes them to begin with. They're just two stuck up boys who think they're royalty. I mean, look at how they treat you! As if you're some lowly person they can just push around."

Peter shook his head furiously. "No, they're not. I just… I'm just not a very good leader is all… Besides, it's not all bad. They're fun, and they teach me things. Normally people are bothered with how slow I am, but they're patient."

Lily snorted. "I'm sure they are."

"If you just got to know them, you'd come to love them," Peter replied, looking a little sheepish.

"I doubt it. I know enough with what I see, and I'm telling you, I'm not charmed."

"Well," Peter began thoughtfully, "_I_ think you should get to know James. He's all kinds of fun. I think you two would really hit it off." He said this in a manner in which someone outside the conversation would think Peter was trying to set Lily up.

Lily openly grimaced. "Is that a fact?"

"Yes, it is."

"I don't see how," Lily continued, glancing over at James. He was now doing a funny thing with his hands and talking animatedly, causing Sirius to go into a laughing fit. "He's the most insensitive, annoying, rude slob I've ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes on. He doesn't even _try_ to be nice!"

"Well, that's James for you. Why should he be nice to something that isn't his yet?"

"That's a stupid way to live, if you ask me."

Peter laughed. "Well it does have James written all over it, don't you—" It was at that moment when Peter turned his head towards the two boys to see a bunch of unknown girls make their way across the bar. "Oh no," he muttered, a worried look overcoming his face. "Girls."

Lily giggled. "They can't control themselves, can they?"

"I'm afraid they can't. Remus is going to have my head if I don't do something." Peter quickly got up and went over to the now crowded table.

"—do you really think so, ladies?" Sirius suavely said while looking over at the two blondes on either side of him. "I have to say I'm flattered."

The girls giggled as they placed their hands all over his arms.

Four other females were around James, playing with his hair, his body, the whole works. He laughed mirthfully, his hazel eyes living up to theirs expectations. They were a hazy caramel color. "That tickles," he breathed. "But I have to say, it does feel mighty— Oh hey Wormtail."

Everyone at the table looked over to see the newest addition. He waved in a tense manner. "I'm sorry girls, but I'm going to have to get these boys out of here…"

All the girls pouted and protested in unison.

"Aw, 'Tails," Sirius chimed in, "We still need to get one more drink! Let them stay for just one more drink, okay?"

"But you've already had one more drink."

"But that last one didn't count!" Sirius argued, placing his hold on the girls more firm.

"Yes, it did. So I think we should get—"

"Later!" Sirius responded, turning to the girl on his left. "Don't mind him. Anyway, back to what we were—"

"Oh will you guys just listen to him?!" A voice boomed abruptly from behind Peter. "He said it was time to go, so get up off your stupid bottoms and listen!"

"Lily—?" James sputtered, he was so surprised that he rolled off his chairs and toppled to the ground. He looked up, his eyes wide and mouth opened. "What are you doing here?"

Lily was surprised as well. It was the first time he's ever said her name. But she quickly ignored it and rolled her eyes. She grabbed both he and Sirius by the ears. "Sorry girls, but this party's over. These boys have had enough," she pulled them up to their full height. "Let's go! Both of you!" she barked, pushing them in front of her. "C'mon Peter," she muttered.

"Put their drinks on my tab, Merve! Rosmerta will understand!" She yelled over her shoulder.

Once the four teenagers were out, Lily openly expressed her disgust. "As a prefect, I have every right and evidence to get both of you in so much trouble that—"

Sirius snickered.

"What's so funny?"

"We've done worse, Lily. I highly doubt we'll get in much trouble for this. And what do you mean 'you two?' Peter was with us!"

Lily narrowed her eyes. "He was simply chaperoning you two," she replied icily. "Now, get up and start walking. You two better hope you feel up for learning tomorrow, because there is no way I'm letting you guys stay in bed."

Sirius groaned and grabbed at James's arm, helping him up to his feet. James was being abnormally quiet, but Lily felt his unwavering stare on her.

"Peter," James said suddenly, sounding very much sober, "go take Sirius by the arm. I'm much too wobbly to help him on his feet."

"I don't need help," Sirius grumbled, attempting to walk forward. His knee buckled and he fell. Peter instantly was at his side, helping him up and putting his arm around his shoulder.

"Will you do the honors?" James muttered, smiling radiantly as he reached his hand out towards Lily.

She gave him a cold look and ignored his gesture. She pushed past him at full speed with her nose in the air.

He quickly went after her, stumbling as he ran. "Lily!" he slurred, "Wait!"

She turned back to look at him. There goes that name again. She looked up at the dark sky and cursed under her breath. Why her? She solemnly walked towards James and put an arm around him, trying to steady him up straight.

James grinned sloppily. "I knew you couldn't resist me," he mumbled.

She quickly pulled away and sent him a glare. "Oh would you stop being so full of yourself?!"

James winced at her loud voice before grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to him. "Calm down," he whispered. "It was just a joke."

Lily could smell the strong scent of peppermint and alcohol in his breath.

"Your jokes are very repetitive."

"What were you doing here tonight?" James asked, not noticing her comment.

Lily ignored him and pulled at his clasped hand. "Let's go. Back to school."

He stopped in place, causing Lily to jerk back. She glared.

"What?"

"What were you doing here?" he repeated. His eyes had gone translucent, and they were shining madly.

"Obviously helping you out."

He smiled shyly. "You were there for me?"

Lily rolled her eyes and huffed. "No, not only you! Sirius and Peter, too. If you weren't busy thinking of yourself, you'd have seen I was sitting next to Peter the whole time."

"You were there for me," he repeated happily, now suddenly leading the way.

This time it was her turn to stop. "No, I wasn't," she said flatly. "I was there for Remus. He wasn't looking so good and he asked me to watch over you guys. And as his prefect partner, I couldn't say no."

"Remus is just your scapegoat," James replied. "Why don't you just admit you were here because of me?"

"There you go again! Thinking of yourself!"

"But I mean it this time."

"Listen, if you don't get it through that fat head of yours that I am not here for you, I'm going to leave you all alone."

"Then you'll have to stay here with me because I am not going to let go of you."

"C'mon you love birds!" Sirius yelled in amusement from a far distant. "Let's get going!" he slurred before he wobbled for a couple of seconds and fell flat faced to the ground.

Lily seethed and began pulling at James again.

He didn't budge.

"Fine. I'm here for you. Now let's go."

"Wow, Evans," James replied smugly. "I didn't think you'd give up that easy."

"Oh never mind!" She yelled at him, jerking her hands out of his. Since he wasn't prepared for it, she came loose with ease. "Go help yourself. I don't even know why I thought I'd help you in the first place."

She stomped off at a fast pace and caught up with Sirius and Peter.

"Let's trade places," she muttered moodily.

Peter agreed with a squeak and went backwards towards James.

Sirius bellowed a laugh.

"What is it with you always laughing?" Lily asked in annoyance.

"Was James being too much for you, then?"

"Don't even mention that imbecile."

Sirius laughed again. "Lily," he garbled at her. "If you really want to get rid of him, just, just, just go out on wondate with… withhim."

She gave him an appalled look. "How is that going to get rid of him?! Do you know what a date is? It's two people and food! That requires he'd have to be there!"

"Don't bite my head off, dear," Sirius indistinctively said after wincing. "If you'd have let me finish, you would have heard me say that you should go out on a date with him and act horribibably. You know, be disgusting and un-lady like. Make him stop liking you."

"Hm," he heard Lily say. Sirius grinned.

"I don't know," she finally said. "What if it doesn't work? What if he likes me even more?"

"Lily, darling, don't flattererer yourself," he laughed. "We must be rububbing off on you," he added as an after thought.

Lily sent him a glare before continuing. "Or worse, what if he thinks I like him in agreeing to go on a date with him?" She shuddered at the thought. "I don't think it's going to work. I'm already trying my best to be truthfully horrible to him as it is. It should have sent him the message by now!"

Sirius squeezed her shoulder. "You know, it's because you're always playing at James anyway that he thinks you like him." He felt Lily tense. "But you know, if you _really_ don't like him and want to send him a clearerer message, then why don't you think of dating sum 'un else?"

"I'm in no mood to want to date anyone. Even if I was, there's no one in Hogwarts who remotely interests me."

"A picky one, aren' you?" Sirius gave her a sly grin. "Why don't you… go out with me, then?"

This time Lily barked out laughing. "You? Yeah, alright, just go out with the second biggest troll in the school."

Sirius quipped in mock-hurt. "Aw, Lily, you—hic—" Oh great, now he had the hiccups. "Hurt my ego. Comparing me to—hic—James?"

She scoffed, but laughed at Sirius anyway.

Meanwhile, in the back of the couple, James watched all this interaction happen. He was not happy with the burst of jealousy raging inside him. Why does Sirius get to make her laugh? "Wormtail, hurry up won't you? Let's catch up to them."

Peter sighed sadly and did as he was told. He began a more brisk pace and pulled James up faster. However, by the time they had reached Sirius and Lily, they had already snuck through Honeydukes Sweetshop. James knew he wouldn't be seeing them until they reached the school.

---

"Shh," Lily whispered as she guided the three boys behind her up the moving stair cases. "We're almost there, be quiet now."

Sirius chuckled, his eyes darting back and forth all around him. He was suddenly very giddy. Not to mention his hiccups were cheering him up.

"Sirius!" Peter whispered nervously. "Stop that!"

The four young adults made it up to Gryffindor tower and crept along the hall, trying very hard not to make any noise. James and Sirius were failing horribly as they would stumble and then laugh at each other as they did so.

"Fawkes," Lily whispered sharply to the Fat Lady's portrait.

The Fat Lady grumbled and spat. "You kids should be sleeping right now," she commented grumpily. But she opened the door anyway, and closed tightly when the students scrambled in.

"Where's James?" Peter suddenly asked as he, Sirius, and Lily entered the empty common room.

A distant snicker could be heard behind them.

Sirius grinned and neared towards the entrance. "James!" he yelled loudly. "Buddy ol' pal! Don't—hic—worry! I'll save you, darling!"

"Sirius! Quit that!" Peter quickly pulled at the intoxicated boy and put his hand to his mouth. "Shh, do you want to wake up the whole house?"

"Hic—no," Sirius pouted after he pulled away from Peter's hand. "I want James," he said sadly. Then suddenly, out of no where, Sirius's eyes went shot and he fell into Peter's arms, his body going limp.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You take him up to your room and I'll go get the other one," she whispered. "Honestly, I don't think we should separate the two. I don't think they're old enough to be without each other just yet."

Peter chuckled a little and nodded his head at the leaving figure. "C'mon Sirius," he whispered to his friend, "up, up, up." Sirius groaned and turned his head, his black shaggy hair going down to cover his eyes. "I can't do this alone!" Peter exclaimed, slapping Sirius's face lightly.

Sirius didn't budge.

Peter sighed, and began pulling Sirius towards the boy's dormitory the best he could.

---

"James?" Lily whispered into the dark hall. She looked around, her wand up in the air flashing a soft glow around her. "James, where are you?"

No answer.

Lily bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows. Where the hell has that boy gone off to?

"James!" She said louder, looking around at anything that seemed human. "James," she called out, "If you don't come out here soon I'm going to—"

"I don't think I've ever heard you say my name before, Evans."

She turned around sharply, and sure enough, there was James, leaning against the wall. His posture was slouched, and his arms were shaky. But his eyes, however, didn't look as high as he was letting on.

"Don't be silly. I say your name all the time, Potter," Lily retorted, putting her wand down just an inch.

"Do you?" A light glinted in James's eyes. "Do you really? _All_ the time?" He smirked while he slowly dragged his feet towards the red-headed girl. "Well, you certainly think of me more than you let on."

"You know what I meant."

"Just as much as you knew what I meant. So in case you misunderstood, I'll repeat what I said. I don't think I've ever heard you say my _first_ name before, Evans."

"What of it?" Lily snarled. She wanted to move, to get away from the creeping figure. But for some reason, her legs stayed locked and in place. James was just a couple of feet away from her.

"I don't know. It was just strange, is all. When you said it, it sounded more," he paused and stopped walking. He was now so close to her, he could see her radiant green eyes flash of fear before him. He felt her take in a quick breath. "What's the word? Sexy?"

Lily glared, her anxiety gone quicker than light.

James laughed softly. "No," he continued in the same quiet voice. He looked at her carefully and leaned his head forward close enough so that their lips were practically grazing.

Lily didn't move.

"_Intimate,_" James whispered.

Lily closed her eyes and shuddered at the susurration of his voice.

"And you called me Lily today," she replied in a small voice before opening her eyes and meeting his piercing stare.

He was looking at her hungrily, and she quivered.

"Did I really?" He thought for a moment. "Lily," he murmured. "I like that."

Lily's stomach flopped and her back tingled as she felt James place his hands around her arms and pull her body in closer to his.

"You know," James said, "I've never _really_ kissed you… not with a kiss worthy of James Potter, anyway." He grinned.

"James."

And that did it. He leaned in slowly and hesitantly, his heart beating twice as fast as it normally should. Then, before he can chicken out in a un-James like fashion, he kissed her. It was a soft, carefully measured kissed. He caressed her lips with his, and placed a light pressure towards her. She responded in the same way, and the two were in blissful equilibrium.

He pulled away, and stared at her. His facial expression was friendly, and his eyes warm. He smiled, and leaned in once more.

"Stop," Lily said unexpectedly, putting an arm to his chest. "James, please stop."

He smiled. "I think you should say my name more often."

"We shouldn't be doing this."

James chuckled and he let his forehead rest against hers. "You can't make me mad today, Evans."

"I can try," she whispered.

"Do you like me?" He asked, burning holes into her skull.

Lily fidgeted. What a hard question.

"No," she calmly replied.

"Liar," he murmured. "I don't believe you."

She didn't reply. Wasn't there a saying about action being louder than words?

"Do you really want me to go away?" he asked her softly.

She gulped and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth coming from James touch. Why was it that the person she hated the most was the one who could make her feel this way?

"Yes," she breathed.

And so he did. James pulled away, and he let go of her. Lily expected him to ignore her requests and continue to call her a liar. But he didn't.

He took a couple of steps backwards and looked her straight in the eyes, searching her face. The warmth he once held was gone. He took two more steps back and then swiftly turned around. He walked away, and never turned his back again.

Lily whimpered.

---

**AN**: Sigh, that was long, huh? Kind of slow, too, I suppose. But don't worry; the later chapters will be much better. If you're confused, you'll begin to understand it more as you continue to read the story(:

But just in case you didn't realize it, Lily doesn't like a thing about James. She's only attracted to him. R&R(:


	4. I'm with Serious

**AN**: You're all too good to me:) this is for you guys. I hope you like it. Two heads up, though: 1) I hope you remember what Remus and Sirius were arguing over in the last chapter, 2) Not everything is as it seems.

"J.K. Rowling? Duuude, she's like… better than the Beatles pre-Yoko Ono."

---

"Oh god, please, just leave me alone," Sirius Black groaned as Lily Evans pulled at his tie and tugged at him to follow her.

The two were walking briskly across the outside corridor, heading towards their charms class.

Sirius's mouth twisted and his eyes squinted shut every time they passed an archway of light. His hair was completely disheveled, his pants were slouching as there was no belt, and his dress shirt wasn't completely tucked in. Not to mention he only had one shoe on and his schoolbag was tangled around him. He had small stubbles on his chin, and it looked as if he was having a migraine. "I haven't even showered or shaved yet! I reek of alcohol!"

Lily smiled. "I know."

"And! My head hurts!" Sirius added, trying hard to resist her pulling. He failed, as his headache was keeping him from concentrating.

Lily stopped walking, and turned to look at Sirius sympathetically.

She took one step, and Sirius knew she was going to apologize.

"I KNOW!" she screamed suddenly in his ear.

Sirius winced dangerously, his face screwed up in discomfort. He grabbed at his hair and in frustration, pulled at it while massaging his head. His bangs went askew. "Why aren't you doing this to James?" he whined angrily.

Lily's smile vanished and she turned around coldly. She began walking again, and pulled harder at Sirius's necktie. She picked up her pace.

"Ow!" Sirius grabbed at his neck. "You're choking me!"

Lily turned around again and gave Sirius her meanest glare. "Well good! Serves you right! You knew very well last night if you broke the rules, you'd have to pay."

Sirius sneered at her. "Yeah, I know I'm suppose to pay. I was supposed to get detention for not showing up to my classes today because I was nursing A BLOODY HANG-OVER!"

He winced at his own voice and groaned. "I don't think I can take this," he whimpered childishly.

Lily's mood went back up again, and she began pulling… again.

---

Sirius let out an "Oof!" as Lily pushed him into a seat, her hands on top of his shoulders. She put all her weight on them, and leaned in so that her mouth was directly by his ear.

"I'll be seeing you after class to escort you to your next one," she whispered threateningly.

She pulled off and walked across the room. She flattened her skirt and sat elegantly onto her chair. She turned her head to look directly at Sirius and mouthed "1… 2… 3…"

The Hogwarts class bells chimed and Sirius grabbed at his head and jerked in pain.

Lily smiled, brushed her prefect badge, and turned towards her now speaking teacher.

Sirius was still clutching at his black, sweaty hair when Remus Lupin slid into the seat next to him.

Remus chuckled and stared at the so obviously hung-over boy next to him.

Sirius shot Remus a side glance and said, "Shut it. I'm in enough pain as it is. I don't need you laughing at me right now."

"Where's James?" Peter Pettigrew asked as he took the seat in front of Sirius.

Sirius grumbled.

Remus's mouth went into the shape of suppressed laughter while his eyes danced gleefully.

Sirius felt his vibe. He looked up at him, his hair poking from every angle, and his eyes shining madly. "You're loving this, aren't you?"

Remus pursed his lips and shook his head.

"Where's James?" Peter asked again as a smile began to form on his face. Remus's smile could be quite contagious.

"How the bloody hell would I know?" Sirius snapped, looking straight at the blonde boy in front of him. "The lucky bastard is probably snoozing away in his comfortable bed, dreaming about how he's NOT in class right now and I DON'T SEE WHY SHE FORCED ME HERE AND NOT HIM!"

It was then when Sirius noticed how quiet the whole class was, and how there were about fifty pairs of eyes on him. He saw Lily smirking, daring him to say something.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Black?" Professor Flitwick squeaked with concern on top of his books.

Sirius smiled sheepishly and shook his head. He winced. "I'm a little sick," he explained.

"Oh! Well, why don't you go down to the hospital win—"

"No!"

The whole class turned their attention to Lily, who had just screamed out.

"Miss Evans?" Professor Flitwick asked with a confused expression.

Lily bit her lip. "I, uh. I mean, that is to say, I-I could help him. I don't think you need to send him all the way to the hospital wing," she smiled nervously.

"Well…" Professor Flitwick began.

"Actually," Sirius interrupted with an edge to his voice, "I'm feeling _very_ sick. I really do think I need to go to the hospital wing, professor."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "It's nothing a little spell can't fix," she said through gritted teeth.

And before Sirius could say anything more, Lily pointed her wand at him and he felt an odd sensation flow through him. His headache intensified, and he knew she silently put a curse on him. The pain was unbearable, so much so that he gave up.

"Mr. Black?"

Sirius turned towards his professor and attempted a smile. "I'm fine, sir," he gasped, his hand massaging his temple, "It's going away."

Lily looked towards her teacher and smiled sweetly. "See, sir? He didn't need to go to the hospital wing after all. Sorry for interrupting."

Professor Flitwick looked uncertain. "Ah… okay. Um… back to our lesson…"

Lily looked over at Sirius and pointed her wand at him again.

Sirius felt the hex breaking free, and he slouched in relief. Although he was enjoying his painless freedom, he still noticed how Remus looked over at Lily and gave her a thumbs up.

Remus turned to Sirius and saw his offended look. "What—?"

"Traitor!" Sirius whispered furiously, already standing up and packing his things to move away from his personal Benedict Arnold.

Remus calmly put an arm on Sirius's shoulder and with amazing strength, easily pushed Sirius back into his seat. "I don't know if you noticed, but you don't have a hang-over anymore. Lily mended it away because she felt bad."

"I—Oh. Well… I suppose she did…" he gave Remus a suspicious look. "That's why you were giving her the thumbs up, right?"

Remus stared at Sirius for a minute before replying. "Yes, of course."

"Oh, okay. Good."

Remus chuckled at his pale, red-eyed friend.

Sirius looked beat up, but relaxed as he melted into his chair. Without the pain in his head, sheer exhaustion flooded him. He smiled lazily at nothing, his body turning into jelly.

"So," Remus said gently, unsure if Sirius could hear him.

Sirius turned his head with a dazed look on his face. "Hm?"

"How was your time in Hogsmeade… at the pub?"

Sirius, with his matted hair in his eyes, and limbs all over his desk, looked at Remus with a hazy expression and grinned brilliantly.

"A wonderful, amazing, life-experience."

---

"Moony?" James called out into the dark night. He was looking up at the top of his four-poster bed, tracing shapes out with his eyes. He could hear Peter's faint snoring and Sirius's constant moving and shuffling. He heard Sirius growl, snarl, and at a time, whimper; he was having dog dreams — a harmless side effect from the boy's transformation that came from time to time. James turned to his right and looked over at the bed across from him. Remus never snored, and was usually still when he was sleeping, but tonight, James sensed a vibe that he wasn't the only one awake.

"Moony," James whispered again. He leaned over towards his dresser and grabbed his glasses. He heard someone sigh and shuffle.

"James." Remus's voice was faint and tired sounding.

James hesitated, and then he slowly put his glasses back up onto the dresser. "Are you okay?"

"Mm."

James frowned and squinted so he could see better into the black air. "Are you sure you're feeling better?"

"I'm fine," Remus replied quietly. You could hear an attempted smile in his voice.

"You don't sound fine," James replied. From his point of view, Remus was sprawled in his bed, tangled in his sheets and looking mighty uncomfortable. He noted how brightly Remus's hair was shining in the moonlight that peeked in through their window. "Maybe I should take you over to the hospital wing…"

"No," Remus interjected quickly, his head lifting up from his pillow. He openly winced. "That won't be necessary. As I've said, I'm fine."

James wasn't convinced. "I don't know," he said uneasily, he too getting up a little. "I still think—"

"Drop it," Remus interrupted. He folded his hands nicely in his lap.

James heard Remus shuffle some more, probably untangling himself. Something about Remus's tone wasn't quite right…

"Moony?"

"Yes, James?" Remus voiced in a patient manner.

"If there really _was_ something wrong with you, you'd tell us, right?"

Remus had to laugh at that. It came out hoarse and raspy, but genuine at the same time. "Of course."

James chuckled with Remus and looked away back up towards the top of his bed. "Can't sleep, either, huh?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"So," James began slowly, staring at nothing. "What did you end up doing after… you know," he coughed, "we left the other night?"

Remus was quiet for a moment, collecting his thoughts carefully. Lily was so adamant on having Sirius go to each class with his hangover (which she gave back because he tried to hex her) that she followed him everywhere and never gave him a chance to talk to Remus about _his_ night. "Well, much to my dismay, I didn't get any reading done whatsoever."

James quickly turned to his friend and shot him an accusing look.

Remus laughed. "Alright, I admit it… I went to Professor Slughorn's meet—"

And before he could fully finish his sentence, a black shadowy figure reared up on him and pushed him back hard onto the bed. He could feel the pressure above him and something very furry brushing up against him.

"I KNEW IT!" Sirius bellowed, hovering over Remus in a potentially-strangling position.

Remus coughed at the lack of air and pushed Sirius off at the same time as James was pulling Sirius away.

At the two forces working against him, Sirius fell to the floor, bringing James down with him.

"Oof!" James grunted as he hit the ground. "What was that for?"

"If I'm going to go down, I'm going to take at least one of you with me. And anyway, you were a nice pillow. I thank you for your kind service," Sirius said from James's feet. Sirius was grinning and lying in an awkward position.

"Glad to be of some help," James muttered as he pulled himself back up. He brushed off his pants and offered his hand to… the now empty spot below him.

"I… didn't… mean… to!" Remus was gasping as Sirius was on top of him in his dog form. Sirius's claws were pressing strongly against Remus's chest. His lungs weren't working well as it was. "Sirius! Get…" Remus was now panting, "Off…"

James quickly pushed Sirius off and for the second time that night, Sirius hit the floor. He whimpered in pain.

"Ouch!" Sirius yelled as he stood up, glaring at his hazel-eyed friend. "I was only joking! You didn't have to shove me that hard!"

"Look!" James said, pointing at Remus.

Remus had his eyes half-closed, and his breathing had gotten ragged.

Sirius's eyes widened. "I-I didn't mean to…"

"It's not you," James said, leaning in closer towards Remus. "I think there's something wrong with him…"

"No," Remus moaned, opening his eyes a little more. "I'm fine, really. It was just… sudden; a shock."

This time Sirius leaned in as well. "But I pounce on you all the time…"

"Naughty."

"Shut up, James. I'm being serious."

"How ironic, Sirius being serious."

Sirius shot James a glare and turned his head back to Remus. "I don't get it. You were all hip and chirpy thing morning. Didn't see you having a problem with laughing at me and whatnot."

Remus coughed.

"Remus," both Sirius and James said in unison.

They were now in Remus's personal bubble. He sighed hopelessly and closed his eyes. "I haven't been getting much sleep," he admitted. "I don't know… something's wrong with my nerves. But please, don't worry about it," he added quickly after seeing his friend's reactions.

"I think you should go see Dumbledore," Sirius responded.

James nodded his head in agreement.

"No, it's nothing to get worked up about. I especially wouldn't want to worry the headmaster over nothing..."

James and Sirius continued to stare at him.

"No," Remus said in a final voice.

"You always say no," James replied. "We've accepted it when it was about us, but now it's about you. You're going."

"No."

"Yes," the two boys chorused.

Remus exhaled in a defeated manner. "Fine," he smiled tiredly, his soft eyes going hazy. He looked over at the clock towards his nightstand. "I think we should at least try to get some sleep. I'll need it for tomorrow's ancient runes test. I've been obsessing over it since I was told about it…"

Sirius groaned and walked over towards his bed. "Even when he's ill he cares so much about school," he muttered under his breath.

James laughed across the room at his friend's remark and went over towards his own bed.

"It's because I have nothing else," Remus said suddenly. His eyes were closed, and his head was leaning back against the bed's head.

"Don't be stupid," Sirius called out. "You have us."

"Right," James added, looking at his werewolf friend curiously.

Remus smiled weakly at their attempt. "But when we graduate…" he trailed off. "When we graduate, in order for us to get a job, anywhere… they look into us, you know. Our past and things we've done… they'll see. And so… with my studies and grades, I figure I'm making at least half up for... my condition."

"Don't let being a werewolf bother you so much, Moony. How many times do we have to tell you that?" James responded, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's not your fault you were bitten!"

Sirius made a frustrated noise. "Can we not have this conversation again? We go through it at least once a week. I'm tired."

"I'm sorry," Remus replied into the air. He slouched low into his blankets and pulled it up towards his chin.

"You don't have to apologize, Moony," Sirius responded.

Remus was quiet.

"The only reason I went to Professor Slughorn's meeting was because," he hesitated and looked over at James.

James felt his stare and looked over at Remus.

"Because?" Sirius called out, oblivious to the eye contact being shared between the other two boys.

Peter grunted and shifted, letting out a loud snore.

"Because Lily urged me to go."

A pained expression overcame James face. "Lily?" He whispered. "She wanted you to go?"

Remus nodded his head. "Yes," he voiced. "Apparently Professor Slughorn invited her into the club too… and… well, as I was on my way up to our room to read she stopped me and... convinced me to go…"

"Oh," James said in a quiet voice.

"But you know," Remus said quickly, trying to make amends, "It wasn't any fun. It was boring, actually. I would have much rather went out and chaperone you boys."

Sirius laughed.

James was still quiet.

"Prongs?" Remus said softly towards his friend.

"Hm?"

"I actually convinced her to fake a horrible injury that caused us to get out," Remus said, smiling a little. "When we got out, I coaxed her into going to Hogsmeade to watch you guys," he sighed. "I was much too tired to go, but I must admit, I was tempted."

Finally, James grinned. "I knew it appealed to you."

Remus laughed. "I suppose… in a way."

Sirius yawned loudly.

---

It was half an hour later when James and Remus noticed Sirius was sleeping, once again.

"Guess he couldn't keep up with us, huh?" James said when he heard a dog-like growl.

Remus chuckled. "Guess not. Say, James?"

James looked over at Remus.

"I told you why I couldn't sleep… but, why are _you_ still awake?"

"I dunno," James answered honestly. "I keep… thinking."

"Of Lily?"

"Well, for the last hour I haven't thought of her… well, okay, I have, but not in so much detail like I normally do."

Remus raised his eyebrows, and James saw his expression clearly in the moonlight. He blushed furiously.

"Well, not like that! I mean, I… well, I just thought of snippets of her, you know? Like… you say 'Lily' and I see red hair, you say her name again, I see green eyes. You say it _again_, I recall a memory. But when I'm _really_ thinking of her, I'm thinking… why does she act like that? Does she really not like me? I…" James let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know."

Remus was very quiet for a while.

James thought Remus had fallen asleep and pulled his blanket up over him.

"Is that how you escaped Lily's prefect wrath?" Remus asked quietly.

"Huh?"

"Well, I saw her taking down Sirius. But what I didn't see was you. Naturally, you'd be in bed sleeping the morning off, but then so would Sirius. And since I saw Sirius getting pretty banged up and not you… I assumed… something happened? A quarrel, perhaps?"

James let out a bitter scoff. "Yeah… A quarrel."

"James," Remus said cautiously.

"I'm getting tired now," James replied with a fake yawn. He turned his body away and loudly shuffled in his bed.

There was silence.

"Good night, James."

"Moony?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you not say my name anymore? Just for the time being?"

"Good night, Prongs."

---

**AN**: Sorry guys, summer vacation started:) That means party time. Hahaha! And guess what? TEN MORE DAYS 'TIL HARRY POTTER SEVEN COMES OUT:D! I'm really excited that I can't wait any longer, but dreading it at the same time. Why? Because it's the final book. No more waiting, no more seeing what's going to really happen next.

I apologize for the lack of update. And again, this chapter isn't very good. But I'm as tired as Sirius felt. Next chapter will be better. Promise.


	5. Die, die, die

**AN**: My greatest gratitude to those of you who reviewed:)

J.K. Rowling [Random Author Here

---

It was a breezy day with scattered clouds in the sky. People were out, lounging around and chatting excitedly about which house would win the upcoming match or discussing the big changes for the Gryffindor house points if they won.

James sat silently alone on top of a little hill that overlooked the Quidditch field. With his forearms resting on his knees, he gave out a long sigh and looked up. A light breeze fluttered by and swished his hair around him. It was only two hours before his match with Ravenclaw. Normally, James would be about his fellow students and sending them his confident vibe and arrogant smile, taunting the Ravenclaw kids with his best pal Sirius. But today, of all days, he was feeling out of it; depressed; disarrayed, however you wanted to say it.

James scrunched his eyebrows up and closed his eyes in concentration. It was time to put on his game face and ignore the feelings that were gnawing at him. He'd have to play his best for his team and house, despite the depressing mood he was in.

He let out one last sigh and gathered his things. It was time to play the game, pun intended.

---

"Look at what your best and brilliant dog-pal scrounged up for us!" Sirius exclaimed breathlessly at his four best friends. They were in their dormitory, getting ready for the big game. Remus and Peter were putting on thick cloaks while James was pulling on his scarlet uniform.

All three turned around to Sirius's voice and each dropped their jaws.

In Sirius's hands were three creates that were labeled 'Jewke's famous Firewhisky.'

"Well don't just stand there," Sirius said. "Help me out. These aren't as light as they seem. It took lots of skill coming up those stairs without anyone noticing I had these."

James burst out laughing and immediately went to help his friend out while Remus rolled his eyes and began to stuff his scarf neatly into place. Peter grimaced.

"Yeah, skill," Remus said. "I bet they just didn't say anything to you because then they'd be on your bad side."

Sirius chuckled. "Even so… still got them up here didn't I? I dare anyone to report me."

"You've got to stop putting me in very bad prefect positions, Sirius," Remus begged. "If I don't meet expectations to my duties, Dumbledore could take—what's so funny?"

"You said 'duties.'"

"Oh, never mind!" Remus snapped.

"Okay, okay. Fine. _Sorry_," Sirius said, pushing the crates under his bed with James. "Well, to be honest, I think Dumbledore should take away your stupid prefect position. It's made you more prissy and we haven't been having that much fun this year. You keep quoting stupid rules."

"It's my job."

"How on earth did you get those, Padfoot?" James interrupted, staring at the three crates that lay neatly together in a straight line under Sirius's bed.

Sirius turned his head away from the glaring Remus and looked at James. "Huh? Oh, those," he chuckled. "You know me; I can get anything if I put my mind to it."

"The kitchen?"

Sirius barked a laugh. "The kitchen? You really think Dumbledore would allow that stuff in there?"

"Well, surely for the teachers," James replied, moving away towards his opened trunk. He began pulling his gloves on, made specially for catching Quaffles.

"Yes, but I'm sure Dumbledore knows that students get into the kitchen sometimes. The man knows everything. No, I swiped these from a passing cart in Hogsmeade last night while I was…" Sirius coughed. "Giving someone a tour," he explained.

James smirked.

"Anyway, after the, um, 'tour,' I was just walking around… thinking, you know? I mean, that 'tour' was… a lot to think about… and I see this cart passing me. My guess is that the cart was going over to The Three Broomsticks. The poor guy didn't even know until the third box. He finally noticed a floating crate levitating out of the back. He turned his cart around and saw me with my wand. So, in my cool and calm posture, I pointed my wand at him and dared him to defy me. I mean, they didn't put me in Gryffindor for nothing."

"You ran, didn't you?"

"Faster than the wind."

"Why did you bring it, anyway?" Remus interjected, staring disapprovingly at his friend as he walked over to the door.

Peter was already there, waiting… and watching.

Sirius grabbed his cloak and wrapped it around him. "Well, it's for after the Quidditch match of course! Thought we could celebrate after we win!" he explained cheerfully as he too walked over to the door. All three boys looked over at James expectantly.

James looked white, standing there with one shoe on and the other in his hand. He was clutching it.

"Prongs?" Remus asked kindly, "Are you okay?"

James attempted a smile. "Yeah, of course."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow and moved in towards him. "That was flimsy!" he exclaimed. "You sound like Remus. You can do better than that."

James grinned brightly. "No, really. I'm fine," he said more confidently. "Just nerves for a split second."

Sirius's dimples surfaced and he clamped his arm around James. "That's m'boy! Had me worried there for a second. Now, let's go kick those Ravenclaws in the—"

"Sirius," Remus warned.

---

"Lily! Hey Lily! Stop!"

Lily squeezed her eyes shut and turned around to see a tall boy with messy jet black hair and scarlet robes running towards her. She braced herself.

"Hey Lily," James puffed as he reached her. "I've been calling your name three corridors ago."

Lily stared at him. "I know."

"Oh, you did?"

"Yes. I thought I told you to leave me alone, James," Lily said with a tired expression.

A flicker of hurt erupted into James eyes, but he brushed it off and smoothed out his robes. "Ah, yes. You did. And trust me, I was going to, _really_, I was… but then something came up."

"Really?" Lily asked, a little surprised. She placed a hand on James's robe. "What is it? Something important?"

James grinned. "Ah, no. I just decided I didn't want to."

Lily's face scrunched up into anger and quickly turned around to leave. She wasn't fast enough as James grabbed her arm and tugged on her.

"What is it that you want?!" Lily grumbled. She was annoyed.

People who were passing by stared onto the couple; they couldn't help it. The scene was perfect. It was a cool, light day and you could see through the archway of the outside halls Lily and James fighting. James holding onto her arm with a beseeching expression, and Lily pulling back, a glare plastered onto her face.

"A kiss," James replied, staring intensely at her.

Lily stopped moving. "Excuse me?"

"The game is in five minutes," James said, moving closer towards her. "I want a kiss."

Lily scoffed and started pulling again. "You're crazy! Absolutely off your rocker."

James laughed and tugged harder.

Lily fell against his chest.

"Just a good-luck kiss, princess."

Lily pushed with all her might, but James's grasp was strong.

"Would you do it if I said please?"

"I wouldn't do it if you offered me a million galleons."

James laughed again and looked over her head. "Well of course you wouldn't. Money's never been your thing."

"Let go of me!" Lily said, her voice coming out muffled.

"I will if you kiss me."

"No!"

"If not for me, then do it for your house. If you don't kiss me, then my ego would be deflated—"

Lily snorted.

"—and then I'd play badly, and then Gryffindor would lose. You don't want _that_ to happen now, do you?"

Lily finally looked up to meet James's hazel eyes. They were laughing at her. "Are you trying to put blame on me, James Potter?"

She was so serious that James's smile began to fade. "Of course not…," he said quietly. "I just want one simple good-luck kiss."

"Since when did you need luck? You always seemed confident before, telling everyone how it was skill that allowed you to win, not luck." She sucked in a deep breath. "What's changed now?"

"You," he replied, his smile gone.

Lily held her breath before—

BAM!

Her foot was digging hard into James's toe.

He immediately let go of her and grabbed at his foot, wincing in pain. He cursed as he rubbed his foot furiously. "That hurt!"

"You wouldn't let go of me!" Lily explained angrily as she took small steps away from him.

"Why do you always do this to me?" James yelled, staring incredulously at her. "Do you enjoy torturing me?!"

"No, I don't!" Lily yelled back.

James looked surprised.

"Especially you!" She exclaimed as small tears began to form around her eyes. "But because you keep nagging me, you give me no choice."

James's face softened. "What do you mean, 'especially' me?"

Lily sighed and took in a deep breath. "I know that if _I_ really liked someone as much as you claim to like me, and that someone I like kept making me feel bad as you say I do to you, then I'd want that someone to be nicer. So I'm trying to be nicer, James. For yours and for my own sake, but you're not making it easy for me."

James felt as if someone had just slapped him. His chuckled humorlessly. "You don't understand, Lily," he began. "I don't really like you."

"Then—"

"I love you."

"Oh."

A strong silence came between the two.

Lily bit her bottom lip as she wavered uncomfortably under James's powerful stare.

"Why?" she finally said.

"Because you don't shower me with attention," James replied softly.

Lily was insulted. "Oh, so you're saying you 'love' me because I'm the only girl you can't get with?"

James's eyes widened and he took a step closer to the red-head. "No, of course not. I mean, yes, it's true, you're probably the only girl who has rejected me—"

Lily scoffed.

"—but I've loved you before fifth year. Before I ever asked you out the first time. Before you went from an ugly duckling to this beautiful lady with big—" he stopped himself when he saw Lily glare. "Before I even started noticing girls," he finished.

At that moment, a small boy came running at full speed towards the couple. He looked to be a first or second year. He stopped sprinting when he reached James and bent over, puffing hard.

"James…" he gasped loudly. "Quid… Ditch… Game… Starting… minute," he breathed out.

"Oh, right," James said quickly. "Tell them I'll be right there," he said to the boy.

The boy nodded his head, sighed loudly, and began sprinting again.

James turned around to see Lily walking away. He held an arm out. "Wait, Lily—!"

She turned around. "I'm sorry, James."

James twisted his mouth in irritation. "Just—"

Lily groaned in aggravation. "Oh James. Just forget about me, okay? Throw your stupid boyish fantasies about me away. They're never going to happen, you've got that? You don't even know what love is! So you can't be saying that to me."

"I do too know what love is."

"You wouldn't know what love was if it bit you right in the face. Now I'm going to go now, James. Quit trying to stop me."

"You know, you shouldn't assume that I don't know what love is. You don't know how I feel, and you can't tell me what my emotions are," James called out, standing alone.

Lily pretended she didn't hear him as she was walking away, her back turned towards him.

"Lily!" he yelled, staring at the retreating red-head.

"What?!" She screamed, turning around with tears streaking down her face and her emotions getting the best of her.

James tried one last shot. His voice was quiet; almost a hoarse whisper, but Lily heard him clearly.

"I'd die for you."

Lily turned quiet, and she took a couple steps towards him. She sniffled, and stared directly at James, piercing him.

"And that's what makes us so different," she said sadly. "See, I'd rather be with someone who'd live for me—"

James blinked.

"—Rather than die for me."

James tried to swallow, but it felt like dry sand.

"Good luck on your game, James."

And with that, Lily turned around and walked away without being interrupted.

---

**AN**: So, was it sucky:(? Or is it just me? I'd like your feedback. I already have the next chapter planned. Hope to see returning reviewers. And people, I like reviews. I'm flattered that my story has been put into favorites and alerts, but a review makes me melt with joy.

Oh, and in case you didn't notice, Lily began to tear up. Why would she cry for someone she supposedly hated? Her defenses are going down guys, it's only a matter of time before James sees it:) **R&R**.


	6. Twoman Adventure

**AN**: Reviews make me incredibly happy. And they make me update faster, just to let you know;D

J.K. Rowling is -insert amazing, omniscient adjective here.-

---

Lily Evans walked briskly with her head high in determination. Her footsteps were loud like a bulldozer to a wall as each foot hit the library's ground. She went up the two steps towards the tall boy who was skimming through a large book in front of a vast bookcase. Stopping two inches away from him, she roughly grabbed at his right shoulder.

James Potter turned around at the contact and gasped when he came face to face with two emerald eyes that sparkled with purpose.

"Okay, James," Lily said quietly as she noticed Peter's and Remus's eyes on her, "I admit it."

James continued to stare at her. "Admit what?"

Lily squeezed her eyes shut and pursed her lips. She let out a groan. "You already know what."

"No, I don't."

Lily sighed, her posture faltering. "It's just like you to make me spell out what I've just admitted to you!" she exclaimed, her arms flailing about wildly. "It took a lot of courage just for me to do so in the first place!"

James grabbed her arms to keep them from hitting anyone and shushed her. "Lily," he whispered softly, "What are you trying to say?"

Lily looked down at the red carpet, her hair falling into her face.

James instinctively brushed it away and continued for her to talk.

She took in a deep breath and lifted her head, staring straight up at him. "I admit it," she repeated. "I'm in love with you. I've been a mindless hypocrite to you and I'm so sorry. I really am. I don't know what came over me! I never meant to bruise your ego all those times and I'm so sorry for any pain I've caused you. I was so shocked to find out that you did so horribly during the recent quidditch match because you drank and were depressed over me! I was very flattered and I must say it just made you much more admirable. I know you're so used to girls loving you immediately, and I apologize that I didn't do so to begin with. But James, you have stolen my heart," she said firmly, "I love you."

James stared at her stupidly before his lips turned into a huge grin.

"Lily," he exclaimed, his smile getting bigger, "You have no idea how amazing it is for me to hear you say that— wait a minute," he frowned, his body tensing up. "H-How did you know I drank my sorrows before the quidditch match?"

Lily's eyes widened and she pulled out of his grasp, stepping back slowly. "I-uh, that is to say—"

James's titled his head to the side.

"Well," Lily let out a low whistle. "I clearly didn't think this all out."

James's bemused expression quickly changed as he looked over at the table with Remus's and Peter's innocent faces. They had just confirmed the worst of his thoughts. He snapped his head towards Lily who was already down the steps and nearing the library's entrance. James had furious flames in his eyes and he roared.

"SIRIUS!"

Before 'Lily' could stop 'herself,' 'she' laughed out loud but quickly clamped a hand to 'her' mouth.

James lunged forward and 'Lily' quickly skidded from the room, a maniacal laughter following 'her' as 'she' did.

A shriek could be heard and the loud running footsteps were fading.

In the quietness of the room, Remus turned slyly towards Peter and held out his hand in a pseudo-arrogant manner. He had a mocking triumphant smile on his face.

Peter paled and looked back over towards the empty entrance, then back at Remus. "Oh c'mon, Remus!" he suddenly said, looking at the boy beside him with his guiltless round face. It made him look like a child. "I honestly didn't think Sirius would be stupid enough to do it!"

Remus smiled and lightly scolded the rat. "Tsk, tsk. Peter, you should know your friends better than that by now," he said with a little laugh.

Peter narrowed his eyes. "Look who's talking! Betting against your friends!"

Remus chuckled good-naturedly and with his free hand, grabbed at the pile of books beside him. "If they're going to be stupid, I might as well make some money off of it," he explained without shame. He opened his book. "So," he looked over at Peter and smiled, a malicious glint hovering in his eyes. "Peter," Remus moved his opened hand, gesturing towards the mousy boy, "Pay up."

Peter scowled and dejectedly reached into his schoolbag and pulled out three galleons. He let each one fall into Remus's open hand and sighed in a defeated fashion as the last coin hit the former's palm.

"Easiest three galleons I've ever made," Remus said, looking towards Peter with a slightly smug grin.

He patted the sad figure beside him on the back.

---

"Come here!" James shouted angrily, trying desperately hard to corner the drag queen in front of him.

The 'queen' laughed. "No-O-o!" The voice went from a high interval to a low raspy 'o.'

The girl-like figure was on the opposite side of the bed, where James stood angrily, clenching his fist. James hair was wild as ever.

The girl-like figure's long, red hair was vanishing quickly, turning into a very dark shade of black. The dress was becoming tighter, squeezing at the hips as the pantyhose were making tearing noises.

James lunged forward across the bed but missed slightly as the drag queen scuttled away.

It laughed gleefully. "You can't get me!" it taunted, running away from James who was on the floor. It kept looking back at James, gaining velocity as he stood up and came closer. "You'll never catch me!" It ran faster. "AHA! AHAHAHAHA—Oof!" The girl-like figure groaned as it hit the side of Peter's bed and fell over clumsily onto the bed's foot. The figure began to massage its leg, its face wincing in pain as it did. "Ow, ow, ow," it muttered. "Damn heels."

A dark shadow fell upon the injured figure on the ground.

Sirius looked up and gulped. He quickly scrambled to his feet and attempted to run off, but he again fell over as a pain went through his foot. "Ow!" He howled, cradling his ankle. He began to rip at the pantyhose that were suffocating his legs.

James crouched down at his friend in concern and titled his head. "Are you okay?"

"I think I broke it," Sirius replied, watching his ankle swell up. "It hurts too much to be a sprain."

James pulled out his wand, and Sirius flinched. He pointed his wand at Sirius's leg and muttered an incantation under his breath.

The swelling on Sirius's ankle immediately went away, and Sirius began to feel better. He sighed in relief. "Thanks mate," Sirius said gratefully, oblivious to James's sudden calmness.

James stood up and offered his arm towards Sirius.

Hesitantly, Sirius eyed him suspiciously before accepting it and standing up as well. His ankle was good as new. "Ugh," Sirius complained, kicking off his other heel. "This dress is awful!" He exclaimed. "It's all itchy and tight and," he ripped it off, "I don't see how girls can stand this stuff!"

James was quiet, watching his friend strip down.

"…with all these accessories, too," Sirius continued pulling off a gold necklace and tossing it away somewhere. "Finally! What a nuisance, having to wear all this junk! Why the bloody hell do they have wear so much, anyway?!"

When Sirius fully ridded himself of girl possessions, he noticed how eerily quiet it was. He looked over at James, and saw him staring. "James?" he asked timidly.

James was still for a split second before he jumped at Sirius and flagged him hard onto the ground.

Sirius yelped in pain at the contact with the hard floor. "Get off of me!" he yelled, pressing both his hands greatly onto James chest. "It was just a joke!"

The adrenaline pumping through James was much greater than Sirius's strength, and he continued to hold Sirius down.

"You think it's funny?!" James yelled angrily, staring straight at the glaring Sirius. "Playing with my emotions?! Does my misery give you pleasure?! Does my pain give you your bloody jollies?!"

Sirius struggled under his friend's weight. "No!" He gasped out. "It doesn't! I mean, well, yes, _it does_, but it wasn't meant to be serious!"

James pressed harder. "Your convincing skills suck," he growled through clenched teeth. "Who do you think you are?! Did you _really_ think I'd laugh with you about this?!"

"It's your fault!" Sirius countered back furiously, under attack against James's freakishly strong hold. He grunted and squirmed.

"MY FAULT?!" James exploded, pressing harder onto Sirius. His eyes were shining madly, and his eyebrows were quivering from its never-easing hold in a 'V' shape.

"Yes!" Sirius bellowed back, though it came out ragged. "If you didn't get so hung over Lily we could have had a winning—"

"Is this what this is all about?" James asked in disbelief. "That I was distracted during a game?!" A murderous glint flickered in his eyes. "There's more to life than quidditch, you big, stupid—!"

Sirius had transformed into his dog form and lunged upwards against James, causing him to fall back and collapse onto the ground.

Sirius snarled and bared his teeth.

James's was breathing hard, staring at the shaggy fog in front of him when his expression went soft, and he pulled his knees up.

Sirius was a boy again, his face matching James's, except his gray eyes were cold like a dreary winter. He was looking down on the boy with dark untidy hair. "Sometimes," Sirius said quietly, "I feel as if I don't know you anymore."

James's face hardened.

The two boys continued to stare at each other, unwavering.

"I've… changed," James admitted cautiously. "Not a lot… but gradually… I'm changing."

"I don't think I like it," Sirius responded. He took a couple steps towards James's sitting position and mirrored him. His black boots clinking as he folded his legs. "You're not as much fun as you used to be."

"Padfoot," James whispered, "I'm still the same person, I just… I'm growing up."

Sirius was silent, observing his friend.

James sighed sadly, and looked down towards Sirius's boots.

"It's… It's Lily—"

"It's always Lily."

"I'm sorry."

Sirius looked down guiltily at the same time James did. They really were two peas in a pod.

"No," Sirius sighed, pulling his knees to his chest and throwing his head on top of his forearms, "I'm sorry. I'm being… childish."

James grinned. "You always were the childish one."

"So were you," Sirius responded softly.

An awkward silence loomed over the two who sat facing each other, not saying a thing.

James broke it. "It's just… You know I've always fancied her," he began slowly, looking at Sirius curiously. "Why are you so bothered by it _now_? What's so different from _then_?"

Sirius's eyes gave way, and leisurely, the snow was melting. "The same reason you attack me when I express my annoyance about your obsession with Lily. Why did you laugh and tell me to only shut up _back then_? Why get angry _now_?" Sirius exhaled. "It's because now… It's more real."

James stared.

"I think she's beginning to notice you," Sirius said quietly. "And you're kissing her already, too…"

James lifted an eyebrow, inquiring him to explain.

"Meaning she's noticed you as someone she could become romantically involved with…"

"Do you really think so?"

Sirius smiled faintly, something coming over his expression. "I do. I think this year… you have a very high chance of being with her."

James returned Sirius's smile. He began to ruffle his hair up. "I dunno," he said with uncertainty. "She still doesn't seem to like me when _I'm_ around her."

Sirius chuckled, stretching his legs out in front of him. It hit James's knee.

"But… I'm trying to change," James explained.

"I noticed," Sirius said bitterly, turning his head away.

James pushed Sirius's boot. "Padfoot."

"I'm going to miss coming up with plans to trick Snivellus into embarrassing situations," Sirius promptly said out of the blue. "I don't see you messing with him again, _not with Lily sticking around_," he said in a mocking voice.

James narrowed his eyes.

Sirius just grinned. "And I'll miss the midnight hunts where we'd get ahead of Peter and run from Remus… and," he chuckled at the irony, "scheming to get Lily in the same room with you." He laughed nostalgically. "Remember third year? When you tried to get her sympathy just to talk to her? And we came up with that brilliant plan to jinx you?!"

James laughed too. "Yeah, I remember. You turned me into a monstrous fluff thing!"

"Didn't work, did it?" Sirius smirked, tapping his boot. "She ended up calling you 'Hairy Potter' the rest of the year."

James smiled at the memory and leaned back against the bed behind him. "I was so angry…"

"I just-I just think that—" Sirius said suddenly before exhaling deeply. "I'm selfish," he stated. "I think maybe… our two-man adventure is coming to an end. No more just 'Sirius and James.'"

James's mouth opened. He didn't even think of that. All he thought about was Lily, and how she could be his one day. And even when he imagined it, he always saw her and him. Alone, together. He imagined all that he'd do for her, and how she'd respond in a loving way. But… Sirius was always in the equation. If not voiced aloud or thought about, subconsciously, he was always there. He was implied… somewhere, he supposed. "Sirius," was all James managed to say.

"Yeah," Sirius mutter gloomily, reading his friend's mind. He slowly got to his feet, and gave one last lingering stare at James. "I'll be seeing you," he said. He turned his head away and solemnly began to trudge his feet from the bedpost and away from James, walking sluggishly out of the room.

"Yeah," James whispered, staring at nothing.

---

**AN**: R&R:(?


	7. You Move On Quickly

**AN**: I adore all of you who reviewed. It's really nice (more than nice, actually) to know you like the story. And as I've mentioned before, the more reviews, the quicker I update. I can't help it (laughs), I'm selfish:)

And about this chapter, I'm not so sure how I feel about it… but I do like the ending a lot. And I must say, I'm a fan of clichés:) (Sigh) I suppose it's based all on opinion.

And guys, I've learned the most horrible news about the Deathly Hollows. It's been confirmed that my second most favorite character from Harry Potter dies (if you're a Harry Potter fan, you'll know from J.K. Rowling's interviews that she stated one of the main characters dies. If you didn't know, don't be shocked. It was bound to happen, starting with Cedric's death from book four. You couldn't possible expected a happy ending. Did you not read book 6?) Now, I won't tell you who my second favorite character is… because I don't like spoiling things. But I'm terrified to read the seventh book. However, I don't think I can deny its presence. I think I'm depressed. I feel I need comfort:(

Before I continue, I must clarify something. This story is rated "T" for Teens, but it does contain some sexual content. Mainly because I, for one, am a fan of romance, and I feel without sex, there's not the amount of passion I'm looking for. Perhaps you don't agree, but think about something along the lines of… _The Notebook_ or something. It had me excited… transfixed… and I couldn't help myself from clutching my heart as it soared while I muttered '_awwwwww_' as the characters threw themselves at each other.

Now, it's not rated "M" because although I do like love scenes, I don't like to go into detail. I am not a fan of… "Smut" or whatever it's called. I get uncomfortable and queasy whenever I accidentally stumble upon something like that. Some people can handle it, but I can't. I feel when I'm a lot older and mature; I still won't be able to handle it. I really wouldn't like to know how certain fictional character's body parts are going into… other fictional character's body parts. And how they… feel certain adjectives.

(Sigh) Don't mind me. I'm rambling. And perhaps I'm being silly about the whole thing. I can be immature about certain things. But whatever, this was long, no? I'm keeping you. On with the story then! And because this note was so long, this chapter is extra long for your reading pleasure:)

**Disclaimer**: I stole the line about irrational needs from a movie called Half-baked. I don't own it. Please don't sue me.

Oh, and J.K. Rowling is the owner of practically all the characters in this story.

I thank her for all the magic.

---

Lily Evans threw back another shot and slammed her glass hard against the glossy bar table, squeezing her eyes tight as she did so. It burned her throat and tasted horribly like that one mysterious tang that kept her away from Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. It was her fifth glass that night in about an hour. Oh how she hated herself.

The barmaid shot her a sympathetic look before sauntering over towards the red-haired girl, her trademark bangles clinking as she did.

Lily felt a shadow fall upon her and looked up miserably at the beautiful witch, lifting her glass up for more.

"Bad day?" Rosmerta asked, leaning against the bar top as she grabbed the glass.

"Bad week," Lily mumbled, pushing her other mugs towards the barmaid.

Rosmerta grabbed them and they disappeared behind the bar. "I'm not giving you another one until you tell me what's up, dear."

"Oh Rosmerta," Lily groaned, knocking her head onto the table. "I'm a horrible, horrible person."

Rosmerta laughed a little before placing her fist under Lily's face, lifting it up and looking into the poor girls eyes. "Chin up, hon," she said with a small smile. "You can't be that horrible of a person."

"If only you knew the things I've done," Lily moaned, pulling away from Rosmerta's hand. Lily's hair was unusually messy and her robes were twisted in a un-Lily-like fashion. She was sitting in The Three Broomsticks, doing something she's only done once before: drinking firewhisky. Because Rosmerta didn't attend Hogwarts, Lily felt Rosmerta was the best person to be consoled by. Not to mention Rosmerta was older and lot more experienced.

"I'm sure you're exaggerating."

The red-head shook her head sadly, staring at the brown surface of gloss.

"So tell me, then, dear. Is it that Potter boy again?"

Lily laughed bitterly. "Of course it is."

"And what did he do to you now?"

"Nothing," Lily replied quietly, tracing odd patterns onto the wood.

Rosmerta lifted an eyebrow.

Lily felt her gaze. She sighed and began playing with a nearby coaster. "Except that he told me he loved me."

Rosmerta's eyes grew three times their normal size and she opened her mouth to say something when Lily interrupted her.

"Love," she repeated indignantly. She laughed again. "Can you believe that? That stupid boy had the nerve to tell me that he _loves_ me!"

Rosmerta gave her disheartened friend a confused look. "I don't understand. You're angry because he told you he loved you?"

"He doesn't _really_ love me," Lily explained, looking up at the barmaid. "He's only saying it because he's running out of ways to grab my attention."

Rosmerta nodded her head in comprehension, but her face was still clearly confused. "And… how do you know that he doesn't really love you? I mean, from what you've spoken about him before… and what I know of the young man…"

Lily smiled a little. "Well, let's say he does love me. Even if he did, he still doesn't. He only thinks he does."

"And how's that?"

"Well… he hardly knows me, for one. Another reason: I'm nothing but horrible and mean to him— which he deserves, by the way. And there's the whole taste thing. I've seen the girls he parades around with. Everyone knows who James's latest flavor is. I'm nothing like them! It just doesn't add up."

Rosmerta grinned. "Love doesn't always 'add up' and make sense. It's a confusing emotion," she replied wisely. She lifted up from her elbow and moved around to a more comfortable position.

A wistful smile appeared on Lily's face. "So I've heard. But there's supposed to be a reason. There always is."

Rosmerta lifted both her eyebrows and tilted her head. "And who says there has to be? Surely a smart girl like you should know there doesn't always need to be a reason for everything."

Lily was silent before opening her mouth to speak. "Logic," she replied in a small voice. "I mean… well… everything I know has an explanation."

"Are you sure about that?"

Lily nodded her head, but it wasn't convincing.

"I think perhaps you're relying too much on your books."

Clever Lily attempted a weak smile, but it came out looking like a grimace. "Normally, I would be offended, but I'd have to agree with you."

She moaned again and slumped onto the counter, her head resting on her arms. "I'm so confused!"

---

_The small red-head walked slowly up each step, counting them as she went up and taking calm, steady breaths as she did. Her green eyes were emitting a shock of nerves. She winced every time her black shoes echoed in the small stairway, trying very hard not to make too much sound._

_When she reached the top, she instinctively began walking towards a familiar door. One she's been to countless times to get her prefect partner. At her arrival towards the door, she noticed her breathing had gotten very shallow, and that her heart was thumping loudly._

Oh no,_ she thought, _what if he can hear it?_ Lily rolled her eyes. _Don't be stupid, he can't hear your heart._ Lily smiled a little at her inner argument._

_Not realizing she was sweating excessively, she watched in horror as her books slipped out of her hands and strike very loudly onto the cold floor. It echoed tremendously, causing thrashing to go about the walls, and Lily squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she was anywhere but there._

_Nothing happened._

_Lily let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding and fell to the floor, gathering her books. _Typical Lily,_ she thought to herself, _I just always have to carry my books around.

_As she was silently yelling at herself, she didn't hear the distant shuffling behind the door._

_She was just grabbing the last book when the door burst open, revealing a very sloppy looking James._

"_Lily?" James gasped in shock, staring down at the beautiful red-head who was mirroring his expression. "I- You- Wha—?"_

_Lily took in his appearance, her expression looking very disapproving. His hair was messier than usual (though it sometimes came out like that), his vest was backwards, and his dress shirt was inside out. The lining that's supposed to be inside the shirt was screaming out at her._

_James was pulling on his belt when Lily slowly stood up to her full height, placing the last book into her arms. She was still shorter than the boy, so she was forced to look up._

_And when she did, James flinched._

_Lily pursed her lips and looked past him, searching for the first thing that popped into her head. If there wasn't a girl in there, she didn't like the second option very much either... nor the third for that matter._

_She blushed very red and felt like a fool when she saw her fellow classmate and dorm-mate walk over towards James, wrapping her ("rather nasty and unpolished") fingers around the man who, just a few days before, claimed his love for another girl._

"_I'm sorry for interrupting. I've come at a bad time."_

I'M SO STUPID! WHY DID I COME HERE?

"_I'll leave now," she said coldly. She had to leave before she knew frustrated tears would form._

And why would tears form? I don't like him or anything. I hate him.

_James grabbed her hand._

_Lily looked down at it, turning red from anger._

"_Wait."_

_Lily laughed humorlessly. "I should have said that to you."_

What? Why did you say that?! Take that back, right now! Oh dear, he's driving me mad.

"_Why did you come?"_

His stupid hazel eyes just had to meet mine.

"_James?" The other girl called out, clearly annoyed._

_Lily saw him resist the urge to roll his eyes. She knew, because did the same thing._

"_You're busy."_

"_No, I'm not."_

"_Then you're a jerk," Lily said, glancing at the appalled looking girl who was staring angrily at the boy in front of her._

_James smiled. "Not to you."_

"_Even to me."_

"_Lily."_

_Anger still at the surface of her mind, Lily jerked her hand out of James's familiar grasp and walked away, but not before saying, "You sure do move on quickly."_

---

"And why are you so confused? Last time you were here… you made it sound like you liked him in a … irritated way," Rosmerta laughed. "And he told you he loved you. Why can't you believe him?"

Lily looked up, her green eyes hazy but bright. She glanced around the dark room, at the weird strangers who were in a pub at this time in the night. She giggled slightly at her condition. "That's the thing," she finally muttered to the waiting barmaid. "I don't like him."

If Rosmerta wasn't confused before, she certainly showed it now.

"In fact, I hate him."

"What?" Rosmerta asked, evidently shocked. "You hate him?! Well, alright... You don't like him... but to _hate_ him? Why? He's such a charming boy!"

"I know," Lily said, looking down at her coaster. "And that's why I'm so confused. He brings up all these feelings I don't exactly understand… and all at once. Whenever he comes around, I get annoyed… angry… _depressed,_ even. But at the same time…" she trailed off, her eyes looking quite distant. "Now I'm not saying I get happy or anything, but I get this feeling of… I don't know… serenity? I think it's because I know he likes me, so I'm flattered. But then it's _James Potter_," Lily made a face and let out a breath in a defeated sigh. "He makes me feel good about myself," she admitted. "He makes my heart beat madly, but then I boil up and I want to slap that stupid smirk that he's always carrying around..." _And kiss him at the same time_, she thought quietly to herself.

Rosmerta laughed and smiled a knowing smile. "I think you like him."

Lily's bit her lip and her expression became worried. "I can't like him. It's _James Potter_."

"And so what if it's '_James Potter?_'"

"And…" Lily trailed off, looking for more reasons as to why she couldn't like him. "And he confuses me! I hate not knowing things for certain."

"Some things can't always be confirmed or certain, dear. I think it's time you accept that."

Lily scrunched her nose up. "I know… but I'm not going to accept it under Potter's influence. I really don't like him."

Rosmerta gave her a disbelieving look.

"I _really_ don't," Lily pressed on, emphasizing for effect. "But… I do admire him. He's persistent, I'll give him that. And doesn't quit when he fails," she laughed almost nostalgically. "And… I have no shame in saying he is rather nice to look at. But then everyone else thinks so, too."

Rosmerta laughed loudly, agreeing completely. "You're silly," she chuckled.

"Maybe so… but there's still no possible way that I like Potter."

Rosmerta's giggles died down and she sighed, trying one more time with the complicated red-head in front of her. "Then what is it? You just said your heart goes crazy when he's around… what does that mean, then? If it's not like _or_ love?"

"Attraction," Lily promptly stated. _What? Where did that come from?_ But it was true, she realized. "I'm attracted to him."

"Everyone is attracted to that boy."

"Don't even remind me," Lily laughed, pulling herself away from the bar table. She stumbled a little, but she managed to stand up and began straightening her robes.

Rosmerta looked mildly surprised. "You're leaving?"

"I think so," Lily slightly slurred. She grimaced at herself before flipping her hair and pulling out a few coins. "I feel much better now than I did half an hour ago."

"Well good. You're an excellent entertainer."

Lily smiled at her friend, but ignored the comment. "Oh, thank you so much Rosmerta. For all your help. I really appreciate it."

Rosmerta popped open a bottle of butterbeer. "No need to thank me, dear. I don't think I helped much. You helped me more than I helped you. The pub's full of mindless prats who leer at me and talk rubbish. At least you're _half_ sensible," she laughed to show she was only joking.

Lily lifted an eyebrow and returned her gesture. "Nonsense. You've helped me tons. I think I've finally sorted out my emotions."

"Madam Rosmerta!" A voice slurred out, followed by a crowd of obnoxious laughter. "Some assistance, love."

Rosmerta rolled her eyes and lifted her drink towards Lily, as if to say it was time to work.

Lily gave her a meaningful smile and turned around to leave.

"Oh, and Lily?" Rosmerta called out to the retreating figure.

Lily turned slightly to show she was listening.

"Send Sirius my love."

---

James collapsed heavily onto one of the big armchairs in the Gryffindor common room. He rubbed his face with his hands in a frustrated manner and grunted loudly for the only other person in the room to hear.

Sirius looked over to the other chair across from him and smiled hopelessly. James was looking more and more frustrated by the day. "Do I even have to ask?"

James peeked from under his hand to see Sirius grinning at him. He rolled his eyes and muttered something about dogs under his breath. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"About an hour," Sirius replied offhandedly. "You're avoiding the question."

"Why have you been sitting there for an _hour_?"

"Don't give me that," Sirius immediately said at his slightly shocked friend. "It's not like I've been staring at the door. I would have gotten up ages ago, I just… I fell asleep," he explained snottily. He really was arrogant. "Anyway, I'm waiting for Remus and Peter," he continued. "Remus is doing _prefect_ rounds," this caused Sirius to roll his eyes, "and Peter tagged along, I think. I need last week's notes from Binn's class and Slughorn's. Oh, and some entertainment from Peter. I'm a bit bored."

James smiled a little. Peter _was_ fun to tease.

"Now stop dodging the question."

James grumbled and curled up the best he could into his chair. "I think I really blew it with Lily," he grunted, not able to look at his friend.

Sirius was quiet.

"She caught me with another girl."

Sirius burst out laughing, his frame shaking hard against his chair.

"Padfoot," James growled.

Sirius immediately stopped laughing, and even suppressed a smile. "Sorry," he said, amusement still in his voice. "I just… didn't you tell her you loved her? You sure do move fast."

"That's what she said."

Sirius laughed again, resulting in another glare from James. "How did this happen?"

James was wondering the same thing. "I dunno. I'm not proud of it… but... she upset me."

"So you found another girl to make you feel loved, did you?" Sirius said with a slight bit of mocking in his voice.

"Wouldn't you?"

"Not if I just told the girl of my dreams that I loved her."

James's brow furrowed. "I didn't tell you before… but…"

Sirius's ears perked up.

"She threw it back in my face."

"Threw what back?"

James winced. "My feelings."

Sirius snorted. "I figured as much."

"Hey!" James said indignantly. "She doesn't always reject me."

"She does it enough that you're usually grumpy with everyone… and certainly enough for me to assume she rejected you." Sirius grinned.

James sighed helplessly. "What should I do?"

Sirius shuffled a bit and lifted a finger in the air. "The answer is simple, really. There are three things. First," he said in a teacher-like manner, "Explain yourself." Another finger followed the first one. "Second, apologize. And third" another finger shot up into the air, "have mind-blowing make-up sex."

James groaned, his heart aching with hope. "I wish."

"So you guys haven't done it, yet, then?"

James sent his friend a look from the corner of his eyes. "Of course not," he said, slightly insulted on Lily's behalf. _She wouldn't give it up for me, not when she clearly hates me so much. No, Potter,_ he said, not noticing he was mimicking Lily,_ you mean she wouldn't just give it up easily. She's a proper girl._ "She gets bothered just by kissing me."

Sirius laughed, oblivious to James's inner turmoil. "At least girls willingly kiss me."

"Salt on an open wound, Padfoot."

Sirius laughed again. "So then, why does she kiss you? If she's so bothered with it?"

James sighed, wishing he didn't know. "Because she wants me to want her. She knows it hurts me if I don't get more from her."

"Bloody hell," Sirius muttered, shuddering at the thought. "You're in love with a monster."

This time James laughed, but it sounded uncomfortable. He didn't really want to express sex with Lily. "I know."

Sirius eyed his friend curiously. "I'm guessing it'd be of no use to ask if you have any of the notes I need?"

James blinked a few times, and happily took the bait of changing the subject. "Um…" he thought hard, thinking back to his last History of Magic class. That was the day Lily decided to 'accidentally' drop Peter's paper (who sat behind James), causing her to 'accidentally' lean over James (and press her chest against him) to pick it up. Lily slapped him for 'staring.'

"_It was an accident, Lily."_

_She scoffed and glared at him._

"_Oh, like you didn't do that on purpose."_

_She gasped, clearly offended._ "_I didn't!"_

James laughed at the memory.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

A slow blush came to James's cheek as he realized he was thinking of Lily's chest.

"Prongsie?"

James coughed and shook his head. "Um, no notes from Binn's. I was um… a bit preoccupied that day."

Sirius barked a laugh and pulled a leg up to his chair. He didn't know why he bothered asking, but he did anyway. "And Slughorn?"

"Ah…" James's face lit up. "Actually, I do have those notes. They're in the room somewhere."

"Excellent. It's so stupid how we have to write a bloody essay every bloody week."

"You should start taking notes," James lectured half-heartedly.

"Look who's talking."

James looked offended. "Do the words 'I do have those notes, they're in the room somewhere' not mean anything?"

"No."

"Then you can't use them."

Sirius grinned and waved his hand. "Then I'll just use Remus's. I bet they're better anyway."

James narrowed his eyes. "I'd have to disagree. I'm sure Remus's are word for word, and knowing him, he probably double checked his book to make sure. He even probably added some extra stuff Slughorn didn't say. And sure, that's good for the studious type," he said, noticing his friend's interest, "But you're forgetting you think like me, mate. My notes are simple, and straight to the point. And probably five feet shorter."

Sirius laughed loudly again, his hair falling softly into his eyes and he did. His dimples surfaced and he looked rather boyish. "James," he finally said after his chuckles died down, "You're rambling on about _notes_," he pointed out.

"So?" James replied with a bemused expression.

Sirius squinted his eyes and licked his lips. "Fine. I'll play your game. Why did you decide to take notes this time?"

"What game?" James asked, looking very annoyed.

_The one where you ignore what's on your mind._

Sirius instantly bolted straight up into his chair, his stormy eyes gleaming with thunder. A mischievous look was forming onto his face.

James moved a fraction of an inch backwards into his chair at the sudden motion. But he loved his friend's expression. "What is it?"

"You realized you wrote down notes for a _potion_?"

James's hazel eyes dulled. Sirius was excited about _notes_? "Yes…"

"James, last time you did that… it was for a Polyjuce potion."

"Okay…"

"And that was the only other time you ever took notes in Potions class."

James was silent, staring at the shaggy-haired boy across from him.

Sirius's expression was expectant, and he smiled impishly when realization soon dawned on his friend's face.

"Oh, right!" James grinned brilliantly. "The potion! Yes. Er… this time it's called…" he trailed off, thinking hard. "I don't remember," he finally said. "But whatever it's called, I was thinking we should make it this weekend. We _have_ to make it. No, _need_ to make it."

"What does it do?" Sirius asked excitedly. He knew his friend only wrote notes down when they would use it. Like when the idea of becoming an animagus was brought to the stag's attention back in their second year.

A light lit up in James's features. "Oh! I remember now! It's called Felix—"

"James?"

Both Sirius and James snapped their head towards the female voice that called out.

It was Lily.

She had just come from the portrait hole, and it was way past school hours. Her hair was slightly messy, and her cheeks a rosy red.

James gulped and quickly stood up from his seat. "Hi… Lily," he said, almost shyly.

Sirius looked from the red-head to his best friend and coughed.

"Where you out all night?" James asked softly, not looking away at Lily's intense stare.

Sirius abruptly stood up. "I'm going to go looking for Remus and Peter," he said.

Lily and James didn't hear him.

Sirius slowly inched away, heading towards the portrait hole, but not before shooting questioning looks at the couple.

With Sirius gone, Lily's posture slightly relaxed.

James didn't notice. "Lily?" he asked again, uncertainty apparent in his voice.

"Did you like that girl, Potter?" It was the first thing that popped into her mind. Normally, Lily liked to think before she talked, but her mind was influenced at the moment by many different things: alcohol, anger, jealousy, and James Potter.

The boy in question blinked and shook his head, feeling slightly intimidated.

Lily noticed how James's hair fell into his face as he furiously shook his head. A small sliver of comfort broke through in her eyes.

There was a very long silence between the couple as they stared at each other, the tension growing thick in the empty room.

Lily slowly moved forward, knowing her hormones were getting the best of her. _Think straight. What are you doing?_ She lifted her head up slightly, and the moon bounced off her emerald eyes, causing them to lazily sparkle.

James continued to shamelessly stare. He was captivated. His gaze didn't waver when he realized she was only a few feet away from him. He could smell alcohol and her natural scent of a tropical island. _Strawberry_, he thought, a dazed smile coming to his lips.

Lily moved in closer, her attraction with James building furiously as she did. She tilted her face to the side, her long locks falling in her face and she bit down on her lips.

"I—" James breathed, suddenly aware of how close she was.

"Hm?"

Irresistible was the word James was looking for. "I—" he tried again, thinking fast. But nothing was coming to mind. "I don't think you want me to—"

"Was she good?"

James's breath was quickening. _What?_ "Were you… jealous?"

James wanted to smack himself. Of all the things he could say.

Lily giggled, a euphony to James's ears. She blew the hair out of her face, and James twitched. "A little," she admitted. "But you didn't answer my question, Potter. Was she good?"

James's eyes grew. "I— We—"

"Yes?"

"You're making my head hurt," he whimpered. Definitely not his best moment.

"James," Lily whispered, practically begging him to press on.

"We didn't do anything."

"Liar," she breathed, her hand hovering just above his bicep.

"Honest. You stopped us before we—" James snapped his eyes shut. _Idiot. _"I mean, nothing was supposed to go far. The state you saw us in was…"

And this time, Lily shrugged off her robes and threw them behind James. She still hadn't touched him yet, but she was nearly close to it.

"You're going to drive me crazy by not touching me, aren't you?"

Lily's face was a complete mystery. She was still in her school uniform, as was James, and she took one last step, so that her body was unbelievably close to his, practically grazing him.

James looked ahead of her, trying to keep his eyes away from her twinkling green ones. _Godric Gryffindor founded Gryffindor and accepts only the brave and strong_, he stated quietly in his head, trying to concentrate on anything but the girl in front of him. _Rowena Ravenclaw founded Ravenclaw and accepts only the clever and creative, Salazar Slytherin…_

Lily was so close, she could feel his pulse quickening, and his breathing sounding strangled. She noticed she was feeling the same way. She took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly, her chest rising considerably against his.

James nearly squeaked, his mind crumbling before him.

"I—" he let out, him gasping for air. She was too close, he was going to suffocate.

Lily's blazing eyes and fiery stance challenged him to continue. She knew full well what was going to happen.

"I am not responsible for the actions you bring out of me."

---

Kissing? Was an understatement.

Lily's and James's lips clashed crudely against each other as they banged against the hollow walls of the staircase leading to the boys' dormitory. They were making a huge racket, but they certainly didn't care.

Lily was hanging on James, her legs wrapped around his waist, and she was edging him on to fall back against his door.

Their lips never parted as James looked absentmindedly for the doorknob, and when he found it, he pushed backwards, entering the slightly drafty room. He shut the door with his foot, and pinned her against the back of the hard surface.

Lily pulled away, the dark room making her red hair look maroon. It fell about her face as she looked down at the grinning James, and she went from rubbing against his body to playing with his wild hair. She tilted her head down and stared at the radiant hazel eyes in front of her. She applied pressure to his chest, causing James to pull away from the door and stumble over the random things on the ground. He never broke contact with her eyes as he walked backwards, grinning like a fool.

He felt the foot of his bed and stopped, lifting his eyebrows in question.

If Lily wanted to stop, she didn't show it.

She kissed him again, and it caught him completely off guard that he effortlessly fell back onto his bed, Lily straddling him as he fell.

They continued to kiss feverishly as James pulled himself more towards the head of the bed. They didn't pull away until James felt Lily pulling at his sweater vest.

He stared at her with an uncertain gaze, and lifted his arms up.

Lily pursed her lips together and pulled the material off. She slowly began to unbutton the buttons on his dress shirt.

"Wait," James said, not wanting to stop. "Please tell me… you're not playing with my emotions."

Lily just stared, not sure as to how to reply. _You hurt me_.

"Lily?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

James looked slightly hurt. "It's one thing getting sex from someone because it feels good, it's another thing getting sex from someone you love."

"And knowing this could be the only time you'd _ever_ get it from me, 'someone you love,' you'd stop this to keep from getting hurt?"

James took a moment, breathing hard. He memorized that instant, their positions, how she felt against him, committing it to memory. And with his eyes closed, he did what his heart begged him not to. He took a chance. "Yes."

Lily pulled away, and James felt his insides crash.

But much to his surprise (and profound delight), Lily whipped her tie out of her neck and pulled her shirt off. She leaned forward and kissed him softly, and James responded, though quite confused.

She continued to kiss him, his cheek, his jaw, and she traveled from there to his neck, sucking on his skin lightly. As she did this, she unbuttoned his shirt, and pushed the cloth back.

Still unsure of what was happening, James stared at her. But he didn't refuse her stripping him of his shirt.

She kissed him again, this time more hard. And before James could think a clear thought, he was sucked into her again, kissing her anxiously so.

"Shouldn't the man wear the knickers in a physical relationship?"

James grinned against her lips and swiftly flipped her over, now him being on top of her. He kissed her longingly, the passion building up between the two in their infatuation, their sweat… their bodies.

Lily pulled apart and stared up at James's loving gaze.

She knew she was crushing the boy's spirit. But she didn't care. All she knew was she wanted him at that moment.

She placed her hand on his forehead and pushed his bangs up, running her hands through them, feeling the sweat on her palm.

James let his head follow her motion, and he kissed her wrist.

Lily leaned forward so that she was against James's ear. "Hurt?" she whispered, feeling him tense up. "I don't know about that," she breathed.

James inhaled, taking in her fruity scent. "Then?"

Lily sighed out in anticipation, wanting so desperately for James to rip her clothes off. His skin was hot on top of her, and her hands were roaming wild. She decided the best answer was to ignore the question.

"I will consume you."

The phrase made James twitch, images flashing before his eyes. He groaned as he felt the irrational needs of a teenage boy surfacing and he didn't stop Lily from unbuckling his belt.

---

"Sirius?" Remus asked his wide-eyed friend cautiously, waving a hand in front of him. "Are you okay?"

The common room was still completely empty, and the once-roaring fire had died out long ago. Sirius found Remus and Peter sleeping in the library, hauled over books. After he unpleasantly woke up his friends and angered the werewolf, he took off as quickly (and silently) as he could towards the Gryffindor tower, wanting to avoid his friends' wrath.

Remus and Peter were going to make Sirius pay for jinxing them when they finally caught up to him in the Gryffindor common room, and seeing Sirius sitting in an armchair with his eyes opened big and staring at nothing changed their minds.

It was as if Sirius had just seen a ghost. But that was natural.

Remus and Peter were crouching down, trying to get his attention.

"Sirius?" Peter tried with a worried face.

"Padfoot," Remus said loudly, softly pushing his friend. "What's happened?"

"J-James," Sirius said in a hoarse voice.

Concerned looks immediately surfaced on the other two boys' face.

"Is he in trouble?" Remus asked with his hand on Sirius's shoulder.

The dog shook his head. He swallowed, still not believing what had just happened. "Before I left… James and Lily were in the same room… Lily sending her usual daggers at him…"

Remus nodded, not sure where this was going.

"I-I was going to hide in our room… but I found _this_ on the door handle."

Sirius lifted an object up, and it was then when Remus and Peter noticed that Sirius had been clutching something very tight.

It had been a very long time since Remus openly laughed hard and out loud. His body shook with pleased laughter as he leaned in with relief onto Sirius's shoulder.

Remus couldn't stop laughing, his dull eyes lighting with exciting fire as he stared endlessly at the red and gold tie hanging limp onto Sirius's open palm.

---

**AN**: So, what d'you think? R&R?


	8. Sleeping Buddy

**AN**: I am unbelievably glad. Happiness swells like a balloon and bursts with sunshine. Corny responses often come up when I'm smiling. But then again, I'm being slightly sarcastic. I don't do sunshines:) I have no idea where I went with this chapter. Well, I knew where it was going, but I didn't think I'd add on a bunch of stuff. It wasn't suppose to be so long. But I had fun writing it. And this is dedicated to all of you who reviewed:)

J.K. Rowling created everything I wish I did.

Thank you.

---

It was quite drafty in the big room where James Potter slept soundly, smiling against his pillow. Though, that _was_ to be expected, as it was around five in the morning. Despite this little fact, the sun shone brightly through the window and sparkled heavily against the floor.

Feeling a bit cold, James motioned for the warmth he had felt only moments ago. Feeling a vacant spot as he reached out, James's eyes snapped open and he saw the empty space.

It was too good while it lasted.

Seeing that he was by himself, James's foolish grin would have normally faded away by now, but it surprisingly grew bigger... if it could grow any bigger, that is. He turned right side up, staring at the top of his four-poster bed and his blanket keeping half his body warm.

He had been with Lily last night.

Or rather, very early this morning when it was still dark out.

James would have giggled, but it was something very uncharacteristic, and something he'd never do. Instead, he shut his eyes for a moment, remembering every detail of his night. James's grin was beginning to hurt, but he didn't care.

It was a long period filled with his very happy thoughts when James's stomach grumbled. He opened his eyes and decided it was time to get out of bed.

It didn't go unnoticed how his sheets were missing.

And his sweater.

James chuckled to himself as he ruffled up his hair and sat up in his bed. As he rubbed his eyes away of sleep, he felt something out of place. Where were his glasses? He looked over at his night-stand. They weren't there. They must have fallen off at some point last night.

He then remembered how Lily had chucked them out of the way, muttering something about space and eyes.

He looked down and saw them a couple feet away from him, tangled up in his school shirt, looking slightly battered.

With a great loud yawn worthy of a Gryffindor lion, James went over to pick up his shirt and pull his glasses out of its tangled mess. "Sorry about last night," he said to his glasses, not really thinking. "I didn't think Lily would have been so rough."

It was then when he noticed something else fall from his shirt. He looked down and a small tint of red immediately rushed to his face.

It was a bra. A green one, to be more detailed.

James laughed as he picked it up.

What a great day it was.

---

Since it was a Saturday, and still very early in the morning, the majority of the house was still sleeping. After poking his head out to see if anyone was awake in the common room, James tip-toed down the steps as quietly as he could.

He was just going to sneak out and nick some food from the kitchen when he jumped up, feeling his bones springing away from his body.

James blinked hard a few times before taking in the scene in front of him.

He had been so caught up in his thoughts of last night's adventure that he had completely forgotten about his roommates, not noticing how empty the room was when he was upstairs.

James had been surprised nearly out of his wits to see a small, chubby boy with blonde hair curled up in the common room's big squishy chair. He was snoring quietly, his legs tightly folded onto the cushion and his arms slumped lifelessly about the armrest.

Seeing Peter sleeping so uncomfortably in that very stiff chair plagued James with guilt… that is, until he turned to his right. He immediately clamped his hand to his mouth, and he had to bite down hard to keep from laughing.

Sitting there, across from James's malicious hazel eyes, was none other than Remus Lupin, resting quite comfortably in his rather contradicting state. He wasn't lying down, but sitting up, his head leaning against the velvet couch's back.

Much to James's amusement, Remus wasn't alone.

A ruggedly-handsome teenager with shaggy black hair had his head relaxing against the werewolf's shoulder. He, despite his sleeping partner, was lying down; his body sprawled all over the couch with his legs dangling over the armrest.

James coughed into the scene, but no one stirred.

He coughed louder.

This earned a smacking noise and a growl from the shaggy-haired boy.

James quickly whipped out his wand, seizing the opportunity to do whatever he wanted to his friends without them waking up.

Unfortunately, much to James's dismay, once he pointed his wand at the shaggy-haired boy, one of Sirius's eyes shot open, as if he knew something was going to happen.

With one eye still shut, Sirius peeked over at James, shooting him an annoyed look as if to say _bugger off, I'm sleeping._

"Good morning, beautiful."

Sirius shifted his legs a little and moaned. "Not now, Prongs," he muttered sleepily. "It's s'not even time to wake up yet."

"Oh really?" James asked, amusement clear in his voice. He was putting his wand away. "If I were you, I'd want to get out of that spot before anyone woke up to see me."

Sirius half-snorted, his eyes closed. He snuggled closer into his very comfortable 'pillow.' "You mean sleeping in the common room? Well, I don't really mind. It's not _that_ embarrassing. And besides, it's your fault, really… with your busy night and all," Sirius unsurprisingly smirked.

James raised an eyebrow and a small smile crept to his lips. He continued to stare. "Yes. Sorry about that… I wasn't really thinking."

"I bet you weren't," Sirius yawned, turning his body to the side.

"Sirius," Remus finally mumbled, his head coming out of his slumber but with his eyes shut tightly. "You're being very loud."

"Sorry, love," Sirius replied sleepily, his closed eyes falling back into a trance.

"Padfoot," Remus suddenly said, his voice sounding not so tired anymore and his body tensing up. He refused to open his eyes.

Sirius yawned again. "Yes, love?"

"Please tell me you're not in my bed."

"What? Don't be ridiculous. I would have chosen James's bed. Much more comfortable," Sirius muttered. It was at that moment when he realized how close Remus's voice was. And it was at that moment when he realized what exactly he was saying.

Both their eyes shot open simultaneously and Remus instantly pulled away, jumping up as if he had just touched the foulest thing in the world.

From the lack of werewolf, Sirius's head collided hard against the sofa and he winced at the sudden pressure.

James burst out laughing.

"Sirius!" Remus yelled, clearly irritated by the situation and James's background snickers.

"What?" Sirius responded, sounding just as irritated while he rubbed his cheek soothingly. He shot James a look.

"Don't you think jinxing me last night was enough? Now you have to do this?"

Sirius looked flabbergasted. "You think I did that on purpose?" he asked with a horrid expression.

"Of course you did! There's no other explanation!" Remus shot back, glaring angrily at his friend who was lying lazily on the couch. He was reminded very strongly of a stretching panther.

Sirius's mouth twisted in exasperation. "I think maybe _you_ did this. Not the other way around."

Remus rolled his eyes and laughed humorlessly, crossing his arms. "And why would I do that?"

"You're setting yourself up, Moony," James interjected, holding his breath.

Remus ignored him and looked at Sirius expectantly, his fists balling up and clenching tightly.

Naturally, a quick devilish smile came to Sirius's expression. "Why? You don't think I know about your secret attraction to me? You've been trying for ages to sleep with me. Think I didn't notice? I must say, I am impressed with your timing. Never saw it coming."

Remus let out a very annoyed noise, sounding awfully like a howl.

At this, Peter abruptly sat up in his chair, muttering stupidly about cheese.

James turned his head to the sleepy blonde boy, his chuckles dying down. "Morning, Wormtail," he said warmly, his eyes flicking with gold.

Peter smiled sluggishly and yawned. "G'morning, James."

The two looked over towards the long velvet couch and stared, interested, at the arguing couple in front of them.

"—can't even get a straight answer from you!" Remus bickered, his eyebrows slanting downwards, his knuckles turning white.

"Well, you asked a stupid question. You should expect as much," Sirius yawned, straightening up from his seat and brushing off his black sweater.

Remus was now flustered, his face red from fury. It was the most alive Remus has looked in a long time. "It's too early in the morning for this," he snarled. "I'm going back to bed."

Sirius promptly patted the cushion beside him, waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, though his regularly stormy eyes were hazy, full of snoozing thoughts.

Remus snorted and started for the stairs before James quickly stepped right in his face.

"Not now, Prongs."

"Did you have a good sleep?" James teased cheerfully, ignoring Remus's murderous glare.

"No," Remus venomously snapped. "It was the worst sleep I've had in my entire life." And with that, he side-stepped James and stomped off upstairs to their dormitory.

James laughed and looked over at Sirius, giving him a questioning look.

Sirius shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly. "Dunno why he's all cranky. I was rather fond of it, myself."

James laughed again, walking over towards his remaining friends. "Only you would enjoy a nice nap with Remus."

Sirius shrugged again, collapsing completely onto the sofa and closing his exhausted eyes.

James sat in the chair opposite of the now (and again) sleeping Peter.

"Yes," James muttered to the scene around him. "What a great day."

---

Some time later on that same great day, whispering could be heard through the corridors, leaping off the walls…

"_Did you hear? James Potter and Lily Evans!"_

"_No!"_

"_Yes!"_

"_No!"_

"_Yes!"_

"_But Lily hates him!"_

"_I know!"_

And from the corridors into the classrooms…

"_I heard he saved her from a dragon."_

"_Don't be an idiot. There was no dragon here."_

"_Exactly! Because James killed it for her!"_

And from the classrooms into the lavatories…

"_I heard that he did some big romantic gesture and swept her off her feet."_

"_Oh, that James Potter is so dreamy. Do you know what he did?"_

"_Something including red roses and a tap-dance!"_

"_Red roses? Why not red lilies?"_

"_How should I know? But imagine, James Potter doing a special dance just for me."_

And from the lavatories into the dormitories…

"_I saw her! She told me she was doing prefect duty, but I saw her sneak off somewhere. I waited up for her to come back, and she never did! That is..."_

"_Yes?"_

"_This morning! Very early. She thought I was sleeping!"_

"_And?"_

"_And she was wearing his sweater!"_

"_No!"_

"_Yes! Mind you, she also had a sheet wrapped around her."_

"_I can't believe it."_

"_I know."_

"_How do you think it happened?"_

"_Well, remember how I said she just sneaked off? Well I heard from many sources that she took off into the forbidden forest and was attacked by a ferocious beast!"_

"_Oh my goodness! And then what happened?"_

"_Well, she couldn't fight him off! So naturally James came to her rescue and defeated the beast. I guess she was dazzled and thanked him in a very, er, affectionate manner."_

"_She's so lucky!"_

And from the dormitories into the Great Hall…

"_I hear Lily confessed her undying love for him."_

"_Yeah, right. More like him confessing his undying love for her."_

"_Either way, they still ended up sharing the night together."_

"_You don't think…"_

"_It's James Potter, what do you think?"_

James snorted, turning his face away from the staring and whispering students. "Do you hear what they're saying? It's ridiculous!"

James, Sirius, and Peter were happily dining in the Great Hall, ignoring the stares and chatter that was surrounding them. Remus was still angry about the incident that happened earlier and refused to speak to Sirius or James. And because Peter decided to stick with them, Remus wasn't talking to him too.

James looked very amuse, glancing at the gawking faces around him. "According to Hufflepuff's table, I planned to fly Lily around the castle, but I broke my broom playing Quidditch. Apparently, I had to illegally import a magic carpet."

Sirius swallowed his potatoes, his gray eyes flickering with mischief. "I should know. Seeing how I made up about half of them."

James stared at him. "You what?"

Sirius snickered, sitting beside his best friend and stuffing his mouth of gravy and bread. "Well, if they're going to talk, you might as give them something to talk about. Did you hear about the one where you come galloping on a unicorn and save Lily from Professor Slughorn? That one's my favorite."

Sitting across from them was Peter who was quickly swallowing his food to get a word in. "I liked the one where James gets attacked by pixies and Lily has to save him."

James rolled his eyes, picking up a roll. "And here I was, thinking where on earth they got their ludicrous ideas. Now I know." He shot Sirius a look.

"…_and then he told her 'I love you,' got down on one knee and proposed!"_

"_And she said yes?!"_

"_Yes! He also had a wizards quartet in the background along with some enchanted hearts floating in the air!"_

"_How romantic! …But I thought Lily despised that boy!"_

"_Obviously not."_

"_And it's true?"_

"_Of course it's true. James's best mate, Sirius Black, told me."_

"You're going to pay for this, Padfoot."

Sirius bit his lip to keep from laughing. "I was just having a bit o' fun."

James sighed, looking down at this plate. "I wonder what Lily's thinking. She's not going to like the whole school talking about us and…"

"Well, that's what she gets for walking in her dorm with only your sweater on at five o' clock in the morning!" Sirius reasoned, grabbing at a chocolate frog.

James narrowed his eyes. "But I don't think she deserves the whole school to know her business."

Sirius smirked. "Or rather, _your_ business."

James instantly stubbed Sirius toe and bit into a treacle tart.

"Ow!" Sirius exclaimed, glaring at his friend. He turned to Peter. "Wormtail, what are you doing just sitting there! I'm your friend! Jinx him or something!"

Peter dropped his fork with a startled expression. "I-I-I—"

Sirius grinned. "I'm only joking." He turned back to James. "I think you should go talk to her. See if she's heard anything yet."

James was silent, staring past the chattering dog.

"Prongs?"

"Hm?"

"Are you listening to me?"

"Of course…"

"James," Sirius barked, a suspicious expression forming on his face.

James blinked and turned his head, focusing his attention back on the boy in front of him. "What?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"What was that?"

"I said you should find Lily."

James smiled softly. "I don't have to. She's right over there." He pointed.

Sirius turned around, and sure enough, there was the striking red-head, slowly putting food in her mouth and sending annoyed glares to whoever gawked at her.

"She doesn't look too happy."

James looked crestfallen. "No… she doesn't, does she?"

Peter leaned over and gave James a sympathetic pat on the back. "Treacle tart?"

James grabbed it. "You don't think… she's regretting it, do you?"

"I dunno. Could be."

James glared at Sirius.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sorry. I meant to say, 'Of course not! No girl would ever regret sleeping with you. You are amazing!'"

"Be serious, Padfoot."

Sirius scoffed, ignoring his chance at the pun. "If my answers aren't satisfactory enough, then quit babbling to me and ask her yourself!"

"Maybe I will."

"Good."

And at that, James stood up, pushed Sirius into his goblet, and began walking over towards Lily. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he could have sworn the chattering crowds got softer.

Lily looked up to see James walking towards her and jumped out of her seat. She did sit as far away as she could from him for a reason.

James was surprised at her sudden movement and stopped walking. "Lily?"

"Leave me alone, Potter."

He took another step forward, which turned out to be a bad mistake because Lily immediately took off towards the front door. Being across the table from her, he followed her, catching her pace and not taking his eyes off her. "Hold on a sec—"

He ran after the flock of red hair, making a huge scene and calling out to the girl who didn't want to confront the morning after.

Sirius looked away from the retreating couple and gave Peter a look that said _Ouch_. "Poor bloke."

Peter nodded his head in agreement, staring (along with everyone else) at the still opened entrance.

Dumbledore stood up to close it, his eyes twinkling as he did.

"Say Wormtail," Sirius said suddenly, causing the boy in front of him to turn his head away from the silver-haired wizard. "I must admit, you hurt me a little."

"Huh?" Sputtered the blonde boy, blinking rapidly and thinking hard at what he could have done. "W-What did I do?"

Sirius pouted a little, his black hair falling into his eyes. "How come you didn't offer _me_ a treacle tart?"

---

"Hello Moony!" Sirius said loudly as he walked into his dormitory. "Knew I'd find you here! You've been avoiding me!"

"Catch on, did you?" Remus muttered to himself, not looking up from his book.

Sirius responded by tackling the werewolf and pulling the book away from his grasp. "What's this you're reading?" Sirius asked, looking at the cover while his other hand pushed the flailing wolf away. "'Curses and Counter-Curses (Bewitch your Friends and Befuddle your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and much, much more)?'" He glanced at the glaring boy with an accusing look. "Why are you reading this?"

Remus snatched the book back and pushed the nosy dog out of the way. He stood up from his bed and straightened his ruffled clothes, patting his hair back into place. "None of your business," he said stiffly.

Sirius made himself comfortable on Remus's bed and leaned back on his forearms, his head resting on the wolf's pilliow. He stared curiously at his friend. "What's wrong with you?"

Remus gave him a look before shaking his head and leaving the room, heading down towards the Gryffindor common room.

As expected, Sirius followed him out.

"Don't tell me you're still angry at me for falling asleep on you this morning," Sirius said once Remus plopped down onto an armchair.

Remus blushed furiously, glaring at Sirius. "Will you leave me alone?"

"I don't see why it bothered you so much! It's not like I did it on purpose! It was an accident!"

"I don't care!" Remus snapped, looking away. "It annoyed me."

Sirius studied his friend for a moment. He noticed Remus's face wasn't so battered looking anymore, his hair was lively, and the bags under his eyes had gone away. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Remus looked worn out the other day. Suddenly, Sirius grinned. "Best night's sleep you've had in ages, wasn't it?"

"What?" Remus asked, clearly offended. With his face growing redder, he looked back at his book. "Don't be stupid."

Sirius laughed. "Well, you told me that you haven't been sleeping well lately! And in the past few weeks, you've looked seconds away from death. Now, all of the sudden, after waking up next to me, you look healthy again!"

Remus glowered, not enjoying the unwanted interruption. "I'm not going to put up with your childish nonsense."

"If anyone's being childish, it's you."

Remus scoffed and shook his head, muttering as he went back to his book.

Sirius grabbed the book out of his hands. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Moony."

"Give that back, Padfoot."

"Just admit it!"

"I'm not going to ask you again, Sirius."

"There's nothing wrong with falling asleep on your best mate's shoulder and enjoying it!"

"I'm not playing with you. Give it here."

Sirius snorted and looked down at the cover of the book. "What are you going to do? Bewitch me?"

"Sounds tempting. Now give it back."

"No!"

"Padfoot."

"Not until you say, 'Sirius, you are the best napping partner in the world.'"

Remus whisked out his wand.

"Fine, fine," Sirius said immediately, pushing the book back into the werewolf's arms. "Well, if you ever want to sleep as good as you did last night, my shoulder's always here for you."

Remus growled. He pushed passed the dog and headed towards the portrait hole, deciding a nice tree would make him feel better.

Sirius sighed, putting his hands to his hips. "You know, Moony," he said, tilting his head to the side, "You really need a girl."

---

James was quiet, his footsteps cracking softly against the grass as he padded through Hogwarts' grounds. He lifted his head to the air, his wild black hair fluttering away as he listened silently for any sign of Lily.

He found one.

How? It was a stag's instinct.

He turned to his left and walked over towards the great lake. He slowed down once he saw the red-head kneeling beside the water. She had her hair in her face and a sad expression to match it.

Lily could feel James's stare from a mile away. When she heard him shuffling towards her, she looked up and shook her head a little. She sighed.

"Can't get away from me," James said gently with a little smile playing at his lips. He had his hands in his pockets and his head down, looking very guilty.

Lily blinked and looked away, back towards the water. "I've noticed."

A tense silence loomed over the two.

"Why did you follow me, Potter?"

James grinned. "Because I'm your knight in shining armor of course. Didn't you hear?"

Lily tensed and she shot James an aggravated look. "I can't believe you'd actually joke about that."

James crouched down and plopped himself onto the grass, sitting so close to the red-head that he could smell her scent of strawberries.

She didn't move.

James pulled the hair out of Lily's face and swept it to the side in a loving manner. He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Why did you run away from me?" He whispered to her, his voice tickling her ears.

Lily sighed again. "I don't want to talk about it."

James chuckled lightly. He felt her shudder under his vibration. "Are you… wishing it never happened?"

"A bit insecure, aren't you, Potter?"

"Will you stop insulting me?"

Lily leaned back into him and looked up into his hazel eyes. "And will you stop bothering me?"

James frowned. He saw Lily's green eyes were sparkling with fear. "I'm not bothering you. I only want to talk to you."

"Exactly."

James scoffed and looked away from her, at a tree, the forest, the lake… anywhere but her face.

Lily exhaled deeply. "What is it that you want?"

"Do you really have to ask me that?" James snapped, looking down.

"My, my," Lily responded, not breaking away from James's angry expression. "The rumors said you were supposed to be charming and sweep me off my feet."

"I thought we weren't joking about that."

"You didn't even apologize, Potter."

"What's with this last name business? I thought we quit that ages ago."

"Keeps things platonic."

James's mouth twisted. "Why are you acting like this? After last night, I thought—"

"Well you must have thought wrong," Lily interrupted, pulling away.

James jerked her back down. "Did I?" He asked quietly, his voice going cold. "Was it when you kissed me? Or when you slammed me against my own bed?"

Lily winced. "Well, you're the one who kissed me first."

"You baited me!"

"Then you should have been more self-reserved."

James laughed, though it came out rather hoarse and forced. "You're a very hard girl to please, _Evans_."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Actually, I'm not. If you knew a single thing about me, _Potter_, you'd know that I'm a very easy girl to please. If you'd have just left me alone, I'd have been happy."

"Then why did you come up to my dormitory the other day?" James quipped back, staring straight down at the girl.

"I—" Lily hesitated.

"Yes?"

"I-I was looking for Remus."

"Rubbish," James growled as he ran his hand through his hair.

Lily stopped him mid-motion. She slapped his hand away and ran her own hand through his hair, ruffling it up so that it looked even messier than normal.

"Now it looks like you've just got off a broomstick."

"I didn't impress you, did I?"

Lily snorted, her hand still playing with his hair. "Not in the least."

James grabbed her moving hand. "I don't understand you."

"I expected that."

"Lily."

"Why are you still chasing me?"

James gave her a look of disbelief. "Because I'm a chaser," he said, getting annoyed. "_Excuse the pun._"

Lily straightened up and moved away from him, her back facing the lake. His eyes didn't leave her face. "Exactly. You're a chaser… And you've chased me. You got what you wanted, didn't you? So why are you still chasing me?"

James literally gawked at her. "Excuse me?"

Lily gave him an uncertain glance. "I've seen how you are with girls… I've seen how you treat them… I," she paused, looking down. "I think that's why I don't like you."

James's face hardened, his eyes raging inside, his heart throbbing within. "Is that why you did it? Last night. You… you slept with me… to stop me from bothering you?"

Lily didn't say anything.

James laughed and looked up. "I can't believe this," he said, leaning against one arm. "I actually thought…" he laughed again. "You really had me fooled."

Lily sent him a questioning look.

He stared. "I thought you liked me. _Loved_ me, even."

"I couldn't love someone like you."

James felt his body tensing up. He gritted his teeth. "You're the prettiest monster I've ever met."

Instantly, tears sprang up in Lily's eyes.

James almost flinched.

Lily opened her mouth, the inside feeling sticky. "Why are you complimenting me?"

"I'm not going to deny what's right in my face. I do have eyes."

"Yes, but if I'm such a monster, then why don't you say something that's mean and hurtful?"

"Do you want me to hurt you?" James asked, staring intently at the girl in front of him. "Will it soothe your conscience?"

Lily tried with all her might not to blink. She failed. Water gushed.

"I don't want to lie to you, Lily," James said as he started to get up.

Lily grabbed his hands and pushed him down. "Why do you like me?"

A confused expression lighted James's features. "I thought that'd be obvious to you by now."

Lily leaned forward, a small desperate look flicking over her appearance. "When you first asked me out," she began, her emerald eyes glittering with water, "I told you no. I hated how you thought everyone should be at your knees. I hated how you treated people, thinking they were beneath you, especially those who weren't in Gryffindor. I was ashamed to share the same common room with you. I hated you and your stupid arrogance, Potter."

James cringed, but a slight glare was forming on his face.

"And you sensed it, didn't you? And yet… with your stupid cocky grin, you still asked me out. And when I turned you down, you just couldn't handle it, could you? You couldn't take no for an answer. So what do you do? You make it your stupid life ambition to get me to go out with you."

"What's your point," James snapped, his arms pulling away.

"My point, _Potter_, is that you became obsessed with me."

James snorted. "And you call me arrogant."

"If following me everywhere I go and asking me the same stupid question over and over again isn't obsession, then what is it?"

"Persistence."

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed, defeated. She let James go.

He didn't move. His voice was soft when he spoke. "The obsession is gone now, Lily."

She gave him an ironic smile. "I know. It left the day I kissed you back."

James blinked. "Then what are you trying to say?"

"What I'm trying to get through to that big, fat-headed mind of yours is that you like a challenge," she paused, eying him up. "I was your challenge."

James waited for her to continue.

"And that's the only reason you like me."

"_What?_"

"You don't like me for who I am, because you don't _know_ who I am. You like what you see. You don't like me for… quality. You like me because I refuse you. But then last night happened." Lily gave James a strange look, as if watching is reaction. "You beat me, Potter. You won. So why are you still here, chasing me?"

James exhaled through his nose and he sat back down. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. "But you're wrong, Lily." He put on his glasses. His hair fell into his face. "I didn't win. I asked you out. You still haven't said yes."

"And when I do say yes, you've won?"

James hesitated. "I suppose…"

Lily smiled sadly. "And that's what I've been trying to say," she paused, "James." She placed a delicate hand onto James's bigger ones. "When I do say yes, you win. And then your challenge is over. The chase is gone, and you're stuck with me. If I give in to you, if… if I say yes to you… well that means I might love you… and my heart can get broken once I have you. I'm not one for risks. You have a reputation of leaving."

James clenched his jaw. "That was a trick question."

Lily pulled her hand away and looked down, unsure of how to respond.

"But you're still wrong."

Lily looked up.

James had a steely gaze, his jet black hair flittering about against the cool wind. Clouds were beginning to circle around the sky, and it was getting darker out. "For someone as clever as you are, I wouldn't have believed how terribly wrong you are."

Lily sent him a questioning stare.

"Before I begin, I'll confirm the things you got right so you can go about thinking hypocritically how much you're better than everyone and feel good about yourself because of how smart you are. First, it's true; I'm not used to being refused. But I don't see it as a flaw. Second, yes, I _do_ have a reputation of getting bored and moving on to other things. And I'm not going to apologize for it. And you're right: You _were_ a challenge. That was all you were in my eyes, Lily, nothing but a game; a wrong that I needed to correct. And yes, that was why I liked you. Because you were only 'Evans' to me."

Lily didn't say anything, but her worst fears were coming to life.

"Now I'll tell you where you're wrong. You keep saying 'you like me because…' But you're forgetting that I don't like you, I love you." James grimaced at himself. "And I'm not going to deny it. You tell me that I only love you because you're pretty to look at and you refuse me. But that's only how it began, Lily. I _do_ like you for quality. And I certainly do know you. I bet a million galleons that I know you better than anyone else. I know your quirks, I know your…" he hesitated, looking away, "anatomy. And I certainly know your anger issues and your fiery attitude to go with it. I know your voice, your laugh, and your sense of humor… bloody hell, I even know your blasted fear of abandonment! It began with your sister, didn't it?"

Lily inhaled a shaky breath.

"And what I feel for you," James continued, his voice getting softer but colder each minute, "it's only grown over the years. I'm not bored, Lily," it sounded like a growl, "I've never been bored with you. I never will. You keep me going, breathing... my interest sparked. You can't tell me what I do and don't _like_, what I do and don't _know_." He stopped. His eyes were now an empty hazel, just emitting color rather than emotion. "You'll always be my challenge, Lily. I'll never win. Even if you do say yes... I'll always chase you. As I've said before," his paused, his lips going grim, "You're a hard girl to please."

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but she was distracted by James's sudden (and very angry) kiss. She felt his silent rage, and accepted it as he kissed her hard against the lips.

"And I don't know if you realized," James snarled, his breath heavy when he pulled away, "You confessed your love for me, did you know? Somewhere… in that little speech of yours."

He stood up and looked down at the red-head before him. "Goodbye, Lily. I won't be bothering you again. I promise you that," he laughed humorlessly. "It's the least I could do." And he was gone.

Lily put a hand to her lips.

---

**AN**: Wow. VERY long, huh? I've just got two things to say:

1) Not everything is as it seems.

2) R&R:)


	9. Gryffindor's Prefects

**AN**: Ah, reviews, how they warm my heart.

J.K. Rowling, she warms my heart, too.

---

_The Gryffindor common room was very crowded. The fire place roaring with flames and the people around it were chattering away excessively. Lily Evans was scribbling on a long piece of parchment, her quill writing away furiously as she peered into the open book in front of her. Unknown to her (or rather, she knew but denied it) were leering hazel eyes across the great room, not wavering as they admired her concentration._

_The fifteen-year-old Sirius Black laughed loudly as Peter Pettigrew squirmed in his seat, stuttering about what the four boys had seen the previous month while exploring the castle during a full moon. Remus Lupin merely chuckled with them, he too with a quill in his hand that was jotting things down on a similar piece of parchment as the red-head across from them._

_Sirius leaned in towards Remus, his long shaggy hair falling all over his face. "Moony," he whispered, his steely gray eyes glancing around the room. "I think this time we should go into the forbidden forest."_

_Peter squeaked, his light-blue eyes flashing with fear._

_Remus looked up from his essay. He looked torn between loving the idea and thinking of his headmaster, though he wasn't going to voice this out loud. Remus's battered face looked tired like normal, but he smiled and couldn't keep off his expression of interest. "That sounds like an idea… what do you think, Prongs?"_

_The last of the boys didn't respond, as his mind was elsewhere._

_Annoyed, Sirius growled and kicked his friend under the table._

"_Ow!" James Potter grunted, finally tearing his eyes away from the object of his affections. "What was that for?"_

_Sirius looked past his friend and smirked when he saw the red-head. "Don't even think about it, Prongs. She's only going to say no, like always. Or perhaps give you a new low, ignore you completely." He laughed heartily at the thought._

_James was still rubbing his shin. "I wasn't thinking about anything."_

_Sirius snorted. "Moony was just asking you a question."_

_James looked over at his werewolf friend with a mildly interested look._

_Remus chuckled, his eyes crinkling good-naturedly. "I was just wondering what you thought of Padfoot's idea to go exploring in the forbidden forest this time."_

_James grinned instantly. "I love it."_

_Peter whimpered, causing all the three boys to look over at him. He blushed at the attention._

_Sirius rolled his eyes and opened a book; he glared when Remus looked honestly shocked. "Oy, Wormtail. Do be more brave. You are a Gryffindor, are you not?"_

"_I-I know," Peter said nervously, looking down at his essay that only had a few sentences scribbled on it. "It's just… it's forbidden for a reason. You've heard the stories!"_

_Sirius grinned wickedly. "Exactly, and that just makes it much more exciting. Don't you want to find the reason? The true reasons? Separate fact from myth?"_

_Peter looked fearfully uninterested._

"_C'mon 'Tails," James tried, clapping his hand onto Peter's back. "Don't worry; we have a _werewolf_ with us. I highly doubt anything more dangerous than him will bother us."_

_Remus coughed._

"_I… oh okay," Peter sighed, looking defeated. His chubby cheeks sagged a little as he sulked._

_Sirius grinned. "Great, we have a plan! We're going into the forbidden forest next time the full moon shows up. Do you remember last time? What a bloody amazing journey!" He went into a deep discussion about their previous adventure: finding a new secret passage way and meeting a dozen slimy bats. He failed to notice Peter pale, Remus look a little guilty (shifting his eyes,) and James's face turn away. He was too busy yapping away about the brilliance of finally becoming an animagus and being able to accompany Remus around._

_Naturally, James tuned his friend out, his eyes drifting away towards the beautiful red-head that was clearly engrossed in her studies. She had rejected him again, the other day, with her sparkling green eyes and lushes pink lips. Of course, she had a scowl when he spoke to her. The O.W.L.s were coming up in a few months, maybe after those were finished she'd say yes. Of course Lily Evans was only denying him because she was too busy with her studies… he hoped. He looked pensive as he leaned in towards his palm, his eyes going hazy. He sighed stupidly. He didn't notice the table he was sitting at go quiet, that is, until Sirius snickered. He turned to his friend with an annoyed look, angry that the snickering idiot pulled him out of his daydream. "What?"_

_Sirius gave him a hopeless smile. "Nothing, Prongs."_

_James glared._

"_Well, it's just… you practically have hearts reflecting in your eyes whenever you look at her."_

_James scoffed, ignoring the blush that was quickly rising to its occupation. "I do not."_

_Remus shook his head, his smile mirroring Sirius's. "I'm going to have to agree with Padfoot on this one, Prongs," he said almost apologetically._

_Sirius's eyes widened and he pointed a finger towards the werewolf, but his eyes still focused on James. "Yeah, see that? Even Moony agrees with me. You know how rare that is!"_

_James narrowed his eyes and looked over at Peter, whose expression obviously said he agreed with Sirius and Remus. James grumbled and sighed. "Can't a poor bloke like myself enjoy a little eye candy once in a while?"_

_Sirius snickered again._

"_I only want to talk to her."_

_Remus shook his head. "Well, that's fine, Prongs. Talking is good. But _your_ only problem is that every time you get near her you act like a stupid prat, bragging about uninteresting things and boasting about petty insignificants. Not to mention_, every single time you're around her,_ you end up hitting on her."_

_James stuck his nose in the air. "You don't have to point out the obvious, Moony. I know very well what I'm doing wrong." _

_Sirius, and even Peter, snorted. Denial was an understatement._

_James looked offended and leaned in towards his friends. "Don't believe me? Fine, I'll show you. Watch how it's done," he said arrogantly as he stood and ran a hand through his jet black hair. He inhaled deeply, stuck out of chest and walked confidently over towards the red-head he was gawking at earlier._

_Sirius smirked. "Five galleons say he makes a fool of himself within five seconds."_

_Peter, having the benefit of the doubt in his best friend, James, and being unbelievably naïve, took the bet. "You're on."_

_Lily didn't need to know who the tall stranger was walking towards her from the corner of her eye. Still scribbling furiously, she pursed her lips and said as nicely but forcibly as she could, "Go away, Potter. I'm busy."_

_James, startled by her sudden comment, tripped over his cocky walk and toppled head-first into the seat next to Lily, pushing her as he did. Her quill went straight through her essay and ink poured out everywhere. She gasped, not believing what had just happened and looked over at James who was smiling sheepishly, his arms tangled and sticking out in an uncomfortable position. "Good evening, Evans," he said guiltily, staring at the fiery emerald eyes in front of him._

_She tried to push away from him, her hands slapping away his legs. He did fall all over her, after all. She was near ready to burst. "You- You," she sputtered, "Stupid- You- You- _ruined,_" she paused, her voice coming out ragged, "my essay! You- You- _stupid-_"_

"_Git?" James offered, looking terribly sorry._

_Lily scoffed and stood up, not trusting herself as to what she would do to the incapable boy sprawled all over her._

_Instinctively James grabbed her and pulled her back down. His expression changed to cool indifference. It wasn't any of Lily's business knowing that he took embarrassment and guilt to heart. "It's not my fault! You startled me!"_

_Lily looked appalled. _Not his fault? _"And that makes it okay to ruin the essay that I've been working _hours_ on?" she snapped, her eyes holding a murderous shine._

_James pulled out his wand, his voice coming out calmly, "I'm sure we can fix this. _Scourgify._"_

_Immediately, the ink disappeared and the clutter straightened up. However, much to James's dismay, there was still a very large tear in her parchment, and her sentences were all running together, making it very hard to read. He almost cringed._

"_I'll help you rewrite it," James offered, his hazel eyes emitting a façade of careless politeness. She didn't need to know he cared._

_Lily narrowed her eyebrows, loathing the mock-polite tone in his voice. "Don't bother," she said coldly. "I write better when there isn't incompetence gawking at me." She grabbed her things and pulled away from James's body._

"_Wait, wait!" James yelled, scrambling to his feet. "Evans," he watched Lily stick her nose in the air. "Evans!"_

_He followed her, pushing past the staring crowd and towards the entrance to the girls' dormitory. "Evans," he puffed, his hands grabbing at her robes. He just always had to make a scene._

"_What?" Lily asked angrily, pulling open the door that showed a long staircase._

"_Go out with me?"_

_Lily groaned, her eyes flashing dangerously. She jerked her robe away and stomped up stairs._

_Not giving up, James followed her, trying to get one step ahead of her. Fate was not James's friend that night, because just when he was nearing the top and reaching her, the stairway gave in and turned into what appeared to be very similar to a slide._

_With his body lying flat on the ground and his hair all over the place, James looked up the reappearing staircase and stared at the gazing red-head, his glasses askew. He could have sworn he saw her smirk before promptly turning around and heading towards her room. _

_James groaned as he plopped himself back onto the chair where his three best friends were sitting. Smug looks surrounded him as he peered over his glasses._

"_So," Remus said, his smile never leaving his tired face. "I saw how 'it's done.'"_

_James's lips turned into a sneer._

"_Can't say I'm impressed."_

_Sirius barked a laugh and elbowed his dejected looking friend. "Too bad, Prongs," he glanced over at Peter, "how 'bout I cheer you up with something … perhaps a drink? I have a little extra money I'd like to spend... especially on someone who's had a rough day."_

_James grumbled and stood up, packing his things._

_Remus laughed. "Sit back down, James. We were only joking. We had our fun. We won't gloat anymore tonight."_

_James eyed the three boys suspiciously and sat back down._

_Sirius looked at his hands casually and gave James a side-glance._

_Peter noticed this and did the same thing, shooting James a look from the corner of his eyes._

_Remus shot obvious glances at the stag, who was glaring at his book._

_Every second or so, one of the boys gave James a 'casual' look._

_Fury was rising in James's body as he felt the looks coming in every now and then. They knew they were annoying him._

_Sirius's snickering glimpse caused James to snap._

"_WILL YOU STOP WITH YOUR STUPID STARING?! IT'S ANNOYING. I KNOW I BLEW IT. STOP RUBBING IT IN."_

_Remus bit his lip, as did Sirius, to keep from laughing. Peter simply looked horrified._

_The common room got quiet._

"_We weren't _staring_," replied Sirius snottily. "Merlin, the boy blows up just for giving him a quick look." He glanced at Remus. "Oh, I'm sorry Moony! Did I offend you?"_

_Remus swallowed his amusement but shook his head to Sirius, telling him to stop._

_James was breathing hard, glaring at his book again whilst the anger slowly released from his body._

_Chatter slowly started to rise again._

"_Told you, though, didn't I?" Remus said gleefully at once when the room started getting loud and the red in James's face had gone away. "_Every single time you're around her,_ you end up asking her out!"_

_James burst up from his seat and stalked away, forgetting his stuff and shooting daggers at the laughing werewolf. He was tempted to transform him into a jackal. Or a hyena._

_With James gone, Sirius joined in with Remus. "God love you, Moony," he muttered, chuckling as he reached over James's belongings and took one of his book towards him. The same book Remus and Lily had opened, in fact._

_Remus stopped laughing, but his smile stayed right in place. "What are you doing Padfoot?" he asked the boy with long shaggy hair. He really should cut it soon; it was down to his neck. The girls seemed to love it, though._

"_Hm?" Sirius asked absentmindedly, pulling out the long, filled essay that was tucked neatly into James's book. Sirius hauled out a bright red eraser from his bag. "I do love Revealers," he mused, neglecting to acknowledge the werewolf's question. "They erase absolutely anything and reveal anything at the same time. Such a wicked invention," he said pleasantly, ignoring Remus's disapproving stare._

_Peter looked jealous, glancing at his own feeble paper._

Sirius Black  
Fifth Year  
Potions – Slughorn

_was scrawled in a messy handwriting at the top of the paper when he turned it in the very next day._

---

Finally, after a very long day of putting up with James's cranky responses and utterly pathetic sighs, Sirius thanked Merlin for the end of Advanced Transfiguration.

Sirius had to practically drag James away from his desk and push him out the door.

"Sorry, Padfoot," James muttered, not sounding sorry at all when the duo walked out of the classroom. Remus still wasn't talking to them and scattered out of the room before Sirius had the chance to say anything. He has also left early in the morning before anyone in the room woke up. Sirius hadn't spoken to him for a couple days now, not since he took off from the common room last weekend. Sirius almost whined, missing his werewolf friend. As for Peter, well, Peter wasn't in Advanced Transfiguration. Instead, he took up Muggle Studies.

"It's lunch time," Sirius replied, looking at his unhappy friend as they walked silently towards the Great Hall. "Now are you going to tell me what the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

Lily pushed passed them, her hair flying behind her and hitting Sirius and James in the face.

_Strawberries._

James growled.

Sirius blinked stupidly. He ran up towards James who had continued walking as if nothing has just happened. "What the— I thought you two were… _friendly_."

James scoffed. He watched the receding red-head and found he was getting angry at himself. Not because he ached with pain ("and Evans isn't anything to get upset over,") but because his pain was belittled by his other throbbing: he ached with desire. "Find a thesaurus, Padfoot."

"B-But you two… shagged, didn't you?"

"What of it?" James said hotly, not liking the smirk forming on Sirius's face.

"Wow, Prongs. I mean, I knew you'd never be as good as _me_, but to be _that_ bad—"

"Just because we had sex doesn't mean we like each other," James interrupted coolly. He was in no mood to put up with Sirius's ("very untimely") sense of humor.

Sirius took a step back from the time-bomb. "Temper, temper," he muttered under his breath. "I don't get it… one minute you two are all over each other, just snogging away and then the next minute you're like… this." He pointed around the atmosphere. His eyebrows narrowed when he saw James roll his eyes. "Normally, when people do the deed, it's because of some affection or admiration," he continued stoically. "Surely you know that," he sneered. He suddenly grabbed James's arm and jerked him back towards a classroom door. "Wait," he whispered at the aggravated stag.

Quietly, Sirius slowly turned the knob and—

"Gotcha!" Sirius yelled triumphantly, jumping into the room.

It was empty.

Sirius walked back out and closed the doors.

James stared.

"I thought Remus was in there," Sirius explained nonchalantly.

James groaned and picked up the pace, everything in sight annoying him and making him feel jittery.

He stopped walking, having reached the Great Hall. "Listen, Padfoot. I'm no fun today—"

Sirius snorted.

"—and I'm not hungry either. Why don't you go find Remus or Peter to hang out with?" He turned in the opposite direction and started walking to Gryffindor tower.

"Remus isn't talking to me!" Sirius called out to the retreating figure. "And _Peter_? Are you _kidding me?_ ……… _Peter?!_"

James continued walking, ignoring the yelling dog behind him.

Sirius's eyebrows slanted down. He did not like his attitude. "Maybe I'll just hang out with Lily," he bellowed. "I bet she'll be more cooperative than you." He saw James twitch, but he didn't stop walking. Just to spite him, Sirius couldn't help but add, "Maybe I'll do a little more than just eat with her, if you know what I mean."

That grabbed James's attention. He abruptly stopped walking and turned around, his wand in hand.

"Take that back."

Sirius smirked. "I'm _sure_ I'll be _much_ better than you."

"Sirius."

"What are you going to do? Jinx me?"

"I might."

Sirius took a step towards James.

"I challenge you."

"If you don't take it back, then I might just take that challenge."

"Good, because I'm not taking it back."

Sirius was nearing James, a glare still on his face. With his height, Sirius looked straight forward into his eyes. At the same time he stared, he wondered why he was getting into fights with his friends lately. First Remus, now James? Maybe Peter might accidentally point a wand at him. He almost laughed.

James took it the other way. "I'm warning you."

This was a test, Sirius decided. Best friend or Potential Girlfriend? He thought back to the Polyjuice potion. "Would you really do something to me? Just for the sake of some girl who has obviously crushed you?"

James gripped his wand. Why couldn't the world see that he didn't want to be bothered right now?

Sirius's face was fierce, his mouth twisted in a grimace. "What's wrong, James?" he taunted, "Cat caught your tongue?" _Or rather, dog._ Sirius inwardly snickered at his joke. He'd tell James about it later.

James lowered his wand.

_Am I that obvious?_ As fast as the question came, Sirius brushed it away, causing another inside laugh. _Of course not. The stupid git is just finally noticing quality over, well, Evans._

James couldn't refuse the amusement that replaced the anger in Sirius's face. He almost smiled; his friend never could focus on one thing for too long. "I feel like… I need a drink."

Sirius privately sighed with relief and hugged his best friend.

James's looked startled. He didn't know what was going on in that crazy head of Sirius's.

"Knew you wouldn't hurt me," Sirius whispered in his brotherly embrace. "Now let's go ditch lunch and perhaps D.A.D.A. and get you something to help that ticking heart of yours." He pulled away, a smile on his face.

James started at him curiously.

They started walking towards Gryffindor tower again, but James's expression never changed towards the smiling dog.

"Do you still have any firewhisky left over from your, er, private stash?"

Sirius was already digging under his bed. "'Course. Though you drank about half of the crates, mind you."

James looked sheepish. "Sorry about that…"

Sirius brushed it away. "All in the past. Now here," he handed a bottle to his friend and popped one open for himself. He took a swig. Ah, alcohol. How it soothes the body. "So _now_ are you going to tell me what happened?" Sirius pulled out his wand, "Or am I going to have to hex it out of you?" He grinned.

"It's that blasted red-head!" James exclaimed, his voice overflowing with angry excitement.

"I figured that bit out," Sirius replied sarcastically, taking another swig of his drink.

James inhaled, his anger gone. He wasn't sure of how he felt anymore.

He and Sirius were sitting opposite of each other, their heads leaning against their own beds. Sirius's outstretched leg was touching James's knee. James opened his bottle and drank. "I've decided…" he said slowly, staring at his bottle, "that I'm going to give up on her."

Sirius spat his drink out. It didn't go on James. So, of course, he chucked the bottle at him. "_What?_"

James didn't even glare when the bottle hit him, or when the liquid seeped through his clothes. He looked gloomy. "Yeah… I've had a bit of a…" his mouth twisted, "epiphany... of sorts."

Sirius stared, his jaw on the floor.

"What the bloody hell happened?"

---

"I can't believe—" Lily said, stomping into the first empty classroom she could find and slamming the door shut. With all the talking going around, she couldn't have a moment to herself without being bombarded with questions. Especially in her own dormitory. "That _stupid_ boy— I can't believe he had the _nerve_ to—" she groaned and kicked at a desk. "I'm going to rip Potter's body limb from—"

"Careful, Lily," a voice called out from behind her. The hairs on her back prickled. "That's my best friend you're talking about it."

Lily slowly turned around, hoping and praying it wasn't 'Potter's stupid oafish friend.' She sighed in relief as she saw Remus Lupin come into view. "Oh, it's just you. Thank Merlin. At least you won't be asking me annoying questions." She smiled kindly at him.

Remus chuckled and straightened up in his seat by the window and closed the book that was lying in his lap. He raised an inquiring eyebrow. "I'm going to assume you're in here for the same reason as me? Hiding from your friends? Looking for silence?"

Lily laughed and walked over towards her prefect partner. She sat elegantly down next to him. "Yes, from that '_best friend_' of yours, Potter, and everyone else who wants to know my business." She wrinkled her nose. "Who are you hiding from?"

Remus smiled grimly. "Guess."

"Sirius?"

Remus chuckled. "Ten points to Gryffindor."

Lily giggled a little, her eyes twinkling and her anger flying out the window she was leaning against. "What did he do this time?"

"What did James do," he countered with a light teasing tone, "this time?"

Lily sighed. "The usual. He thinks he knows _everything_."

Remus nodded his head knowingly. "But sometimes… he does, doesn't he? He's hardly ever wrong. That's why the teachers are always easy on him when he's messing around in class."

Lily grimaced, but didn't deny it. "I know. Stupid git."

Remus laughed. "So what did he do?"

Lily shot Remus an uncertain look, wondering if she could trust him. He _was_ Potter's friend, after all. But then again, he was her friend too. They've been friendly for nearly six years now, and she remembered the time she went crying into his arms when she had just come back from Christmas break the previous year. She had a row with her sister.

"Lily?"

"H-He spoke to me as if I was a stupid child," Lily finally said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Did he now… James did?"

"Yes. Told me that he knew me better than anyone." She laughed loudly.

Remus didn't comment on her denial.

"Then, he went as far as to blame my rejecting him on my long feud with my sister!" She looked at Remus, but it wasn't accusing. "You told him about that, didn't you?"

Remus looked apologetic. "He wanted to know why my 'hands were all over you' last year when you came back from Christmas. Do you remember?"

Lily nodded.

Remus continued. "I wasn't going to lie. He still wasn't very happy with me for a while. Jealous, you know? Took him ages to forgive me. I'm sorry if you didn't want me to tell him…"

"Oh don't bother about that, I don't really care… mainly because Potter was wrong." She scoffed, tossing her hair. "In fact, I'm glad you told him; made him look even more like a prat when he was off ranting about my '_fear of abandonment._'"

Remus presented her with a pointed look, as if to say James had a very good point.

Lily blinked. "Well, what?" she snapped. "Everyone has a fear of abandonment. If not a big one, it's down there… somewhere… deep. That's why we hate rejection. And why we cling to what we hope will stay. I mean, _you_ wouldn't like it if Potter, Sirius, and Peter leave you for some stupid mistake or secret, would you?" She didn't notice Remus wince. "Sure, my sister, who I grew up with for the first eleven years of my life, rejected me when I got my Hogwarts letter. And yeah, she did bring up those feelings of abandonment and rejection a _little_ more to the surface… but that's not why I can't get close to Potter! I'd be afraid of abandonment with any guy! Not just him! Stupid prat thinks he's my everything…" she scoffed again.

"If James is wrong…" Remus said, finding is voice (he was thinking about rejection, the school, his fellow students, even Lily! What would she think if she found out about his 'furry little problem?') "If he's wrong… if it's not because of your fear of abandonment… then… what is it?"

"I-" Lily blushed and looked down. "It's nothing…" she said gloomily.

"You can tell me, you know… I won't tell him."

Lily looked at him squarely. "Do you promise?"

"Prefects honor," Remus whispered, his hand to his badge.

"Potter—"

"You can call him James."

Lily huffed, slightly annoyed. "_James_," she said crisply. "He… a couple days ago… after we…" she blushed. She certainly wasn't going to use the word 'shag' anytime soon.

Remus smiled, helping her out. "I know," he said calmly. He remembered the tie. "Go on."

"He went off about… about _knowing_ me. Listing things continually about… how I am. Trying to prove he knew me better than anyone… and then… the whole reason he liked me to begin with: at first, it was how I look… and then how I'd respond to him."

Remus nodded his head a little and squinted his eyes. He wasn't sure where she was going. "Okay…"

"And exactly how did he know all those things about me?"

Remus blinked. "He... observed you. Watched you. Endlessly."

"Yes," Lily said, looking at Remus, hoping he was catching on. "He watched me."

Remus looked clueless. "What are you trying to say?"

"The one thing James Potter made very clear to every boy in the school. That I am the object of his affections."

Realization started to come through the werewolf's senses. His voice was a mere whisper. "Afraid you won't be able to measure up?"

Lily slumped her head into her arms after hearing it voiced out loud. After a few moments, she nodded her head slowly.

"Please don't tell James."

"Prefects honor."

After noticing Lily wasn't going to lift her head up anytime soon, Remus turned his head awkwardly towards the window. A comfortable silence hovered over the couple, soothing the uncertainties of their odd friendship.

"Remus?" Lily finally said after what seemed like hours, pulling her head away from her hands. She sniffled a little.

"Yes?" Remus responded kindly. He turned his eyes away from the waxing moon behind the window.

"You never answered my question."

Remus tilted his head.

"What did Sirius do this time?"

Immediately, Remus flushed. "I-I don't really want to talk—" But he stopped after he saw Lily's expression. He sighed and gave her a little smile.

She returned it, but hers was rather watery.

"He won't stop bothering me about … a little incident we had a couple days ago…"

Lily looked interested. "What happened?"

Remus's blush didn't go away. "He, ah, he, er, fell asleep… on me."

Lily laughed. It was little, but it was a jingle. "He fell _asleep_ on you? That's why you're avoiding him?" She laughed again. "You're so cute, Remus."

Remus's face got even redder, but he glared. "I am not—" he grimaced, "_cute_."

Lily giggled. "Fine. But that's a rather silly thing to be avoiding him about."

"Well, it's not exactly the situation itself," Remus responded hastily. "It's just that he won't stop bringing it up! It's annoying."

Remus did not like how Lily's eyes shimmered awfully like Sirius's.

"You know," Lily said casually, her tears disappearing and her snuffling fading away, "No one ever brings up anything as often as you say Sirius is doing unless…" she grinned, "you were bothered by something in the situation… something, I'm going to assume, Sirius noticed?"

"I—" Remus started, but he stopped and sighed. He nodded his head. "I enjoyed it," he said miserably. He dropped his head against the window, his hair sticking to the glass.

Lily clapped her hands, laughing as her frame shook with joy. "Remus!" she exclaimed. "That's nothing to be ashamed of!" Remus still looked miserable. "Unless…" she coughed, her chuckles gone. "You're attracted to him?"

Remus instantly pulled his head away from the window and looked at Lily, completely shocked. "_What?!_"

Lily bit her lip. "Well, I'm just asking… why else would you be so bothered by it."

This time, Remus laughed. Hooted… snorted… cackled really.

Lily didn't like it. She kicked him.

"I'm sorry. No, no… I'm afraid not," Remus chuckled. "I'm not attracted to Sirius."

"Then?"

"He was right. That's why I'm angry. But I'm not going to admit _that_ to him. It was… the best sleep I've had in a long time." Remus's eyes looked very distant.

Lily stared, questioning him.

"I don't sleep well," Remus explained. "I haven't since… well, as long as I can remember… It just doesn't come naturally to me. Sometimes, rare times, I sleep easily… and I'm okay with that… it's just… lately, in the past two years… with my," he coughed, "puberty… or well, really, hormones… I haven't been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Sometimes I don't even sleep at all."

Lily gasped. "That's awful." She looked very sorry. Remus wasn't sure if he liked that. "Do you… know why?"

_Because I'm a werewolf._ Remus shook his head no. "I talked to Dumbledore about it… but other than that, I haven't told anyone else." _They'd laugh at me._ He could imagine it now.

"_What Moony? What's that you say? You can't sleep because it's mating season?"_

"_Shut up, Padfoot."_

"_I can help you with that, Moony."_

"_Stop, Prongs."_

…

"_Don't even try to say something, Wormtail."_

"I promise I won't tell anyone," Lily said, interrupting Remus's thoughts.

He smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

This time, the silence was awkward.

"So… Remus…"

"Hm?"

Lily smiled warmly. "We haven't caught up in a long while."

Remus nodded his head. "Yes, not since well, er, James…" Remus trailed off, mumbling something and looking away.

"I didn't catch that."

"Not since James forbid me to see you... unless it was prefect duty, of course."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Well, just for that… you'll be seeing a lot of me around then."

Remus laughed. "I doubt it. James is usually with me… I don't think you want to be around him, do you?"

Lily grimaced. "I suppose not…" She noticed the book in Remus's lap. Her eyes widened. "Are you getting ready for the N.E.W.T.s already? That's not 'til another year from now!"

Remus looked down at his book ("The Official N.E.W.T.s Study Guide: What job best fits you and how to achieve it"). "No such thing as being _excessively_ prepared."

"I dunno… you always seemed to be studying, you know that?"

"Well… you do too."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "No, Remus. Not like you. Did you see me walk in here with a book? Slamming it all over the place? I always see you with something school related…"

"Just a bit of light studying…"

"Remus…"

"I want to… secure my future. Though I really doubt I'll be doing that. No matter what, I'll never succeed."

Lily shook her head as if he had just said the most absurd thing in the world. "What? You? Remus Lupin? _Fail?_" She laughed. "I can't see that happening."

Remus smiled quietly. "Of course _you_ don't have to worry… you always were the brightest of our year."

Lily snorted. "Rubbish. I don't come close to you. And don't you go thinking of your other two friends," she added quickly as an after thought. "You know we _both_ don't come close to the certain James Potter and Sirius Black. They hardly ever pick up a book and they seem to pass everything without a bad mark!" She sighed a little enviously. "Even if they do cause lots of mayhem."

Remus laughed.

Lily patted Remus on the knee. "But it's okay, Remus, you study hard, you're certainly smart. You'll be better than them when we're out of school. I just know it."

"Oh, I don't really care about that," Remus said, turning his head away and looking out the window. "I've always known I'd never be at the top with them. I accepted that a long time ago."

Lily stared peculiarly at her friend. His normally tired eyes weren't as bad as yesterday, but they certainly were exhausted. "Remus…" she started cautiously, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked at her. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

Remus smiled half-heartedly. "I'm fine."

Lily brushed away the hair from Remus's face, her gentle fingertips trailing his skin. "You don't look fine."

Remus sighed and leaned his forehead into Lily's loving hand. "Just a bit beat up. I, uh, that is to say, er, get sick around this time of month… and I told you about my sleeping habits…"

Lily tilted her head to the side and lifted Remus's face to look at her. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Remus's face looked bitter. "No, I'm afraid not." But his expression quickly turned grateful. "But thanks. I'll be okay. I have Dumbledore and of course, _Potter_," he laughed, "Sirius, and Peter."

Lily's hand didn't leave his face, and she smiled at his teasing. "And me."

Remus put his own bigger hand on top of her, resting on his cheek. "I know. Thank you."

Just as Lily was going to pull her hand away, the door burst open.

"Evans… a-and… Remus?"

---

**AN**: HA! Cliffhanger! I hope you liked that. Just to let you know, if you don't understand Lily's reason, you'll understand it in the next chapter. This one was mostly a filler, but one that needed to be added to understand the story. Next chapter will hold some, er, action:) And, just to clarify, although this _is_ a Lily/James fic, I do love the Marauders, so I would like them to get in on some action as well. I think Snape and Alice will be appearing in the chapters to come… muhahahaha.

I don't normally laugh like that…

I just felt it was the appropriate time to do it.


	10. Snuggling Remus

**AN**: This chapter was fun to right. You meet Sirius's "girlfriend." And it's a bit awkward, I suppose, because they go into how they feel about sex. HA. I had to mention it, for Lily's sake, because knowing James just as a boy and not a lover isn't enough to confuse her. She needs the emotional breakdown of intimacy.

Anyway, I cannot express my gratitude to those of you who review(ed). I write this story for you guys.

J.K. Rowling is the god of this story.

---

Immediately, Remus shut his eyes close, hoping the horror of the situation had gone away. When he opened them, it was like slow motion as he watched Lily's eyes open wide and her mouth gasp. In the millisecond he shared with her, he prayed that she knew Legilimency. _Lily, whatever you do, DON'T PULL ALWAY AND DON'T START EXPLAINING YOURSELF. HE'LL ONLY SEE IT AS A BIG DEAL IF YOU MAKE IT A BIG DEAL._ Much to Remus's dismay, Lily didn't get the message. She did the one thing he asked her not to.

She jumped up at once when she saw who was at the door. Her green eyes were full of guilt when she began sputtering. "I-It's n-not what it looks like!"

Hoping he still had a chance to fix the situation, Remus did his best not to look startled and grabbed Lily's hand. He turned his indifferent eyes towards James, who looked just as shocked as the red-head. "I know it only looks like we're talking, but we're actually having sex."

Lily whirled around towards the nonchalant werewolf and stared at him, her eyebrows furrowing down. "_What?_ We most certainly are n—"

And much to her surprise, James burst out laughing. Lily didn't get it, but James understood Remus's sarcasm. Remus inwardly sighed with relief.

"I thought I'd find you here. Sirius said you'd be hiding in one of the classrooms." He didn't even attempt to look at Lily.

A flicker of hurt went through Lily's features.

The werewolf grimaced and rolled his eyes. "He did, did he? Well, I'm not going back into the room until that scoundrel is asleep."

James inhaled. "It's been a week! It's not that big of a deal! You should be over it by now!"

"Well, I'm not! It's his fault. He keeps bringing it up. I'm not going to talk to him until he apologizes."

James looked desperate. "C'mon Moony! You have to come. You have no idea how bloody annoying he's being right now. He's hours away from bursting into tears!"

Remus stuck his nose in the air. "I don't care. Do you know what he did to my books yesterday when I wasn't looking? He put paw prints in all of them. _Paw prints!_ I don't know what they stand for! And I'm pretty sure that's why he put them in there in the first place. So it'll bug me all day. And you know what? It's working!" He stood up from his seat and opened the book he had been reading earlier that day. He shoved it in James's hands. "See?"

James glanced down and saw a black paw print right beside Remus's name. James coughed, his eyes lighting up. "Is there any other way to convince you to come back? You know Moony," he hesitated, trying hard to resist looking over to his side, "it's almost time… we have some planning to do. We can't do it without the…" he coughed again, "main attraction."

A look of excitement, guilt, and anger came over Remus's face all at once. He wanted to go out with his friends, but then there's Dumbledore in his mind again, and then there was Sirius. He twisted his mouth. "Oh… alright. But… let's do it in the common room, where there are lots of witnesses… and, I get to sit as far away from Sirius as possible."

James nodded his head feverishly, reaching his hand out impatiently.

"And," Remus said, glancing over at Lily. "She gets to come with us."

"What?" Both Lily and James said at the same time.

They looked at each other. And immediately, tension filled the air.

"Moony," James said in a furious whisper, "she has no purpose coming with us. She doesn't know… unless… you told her about your furry little problem?"

"No," Remus whispered back, "of course not! We don't have to talk about our plans _tonight_. It's still a couple days 'til…" he paled. "We can just keep her company tonight."

"Why are you being so nice to her?"

Lily cleared her throat and the two boys looked up at her. They almost recoiled at her angry expression. "You don't have to whisper you know. Clearly I'd be a problem. And I don't want to barge in on anything you boys are planning to do to Remus's poor rabbit," she said sarcastically. She looked over at Remus. "But thank you for asking," she said kindly. "Now," she sniffed, "I'm going to go back to my room," she grimaced, thinking of her obnoxious and nosy dorm mate. "That is… if a certain someone is out." And before they could change her mind, she began walking out, but not without stopping in front of Remus and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Maybe it was James's imagination, but he thought he felt her touch him near the stomach, the exact spot that was one of his weaknesses. Butterflies went zooming about. He inhaled a shaky breath, and jealousy flushed to his face. Once he heard Lily's footsteps fade, he turned towards Remus. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What was that?"

Remus shot him an annoyed look, but his cheeks were a rosy red. "James, as I've stated before, nothing is going on. We're only friends. Completely platonic."

James snorted. "That's what she told me, and we've done loads of things."

"Are you saying you don't trust me?"

"No, I'm saying I don't trust _her._"

Remus smiled and he pulled his friend out of the dark classroom. "I'm sure I can take care of myself, Prongs."

James looked doubtful. "She's a monster! You can't trust her."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "A monster?"

"Yes. A monster." A look of pain was written all over James's face. "She—" he sighed angrily, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Oh Merlin, I thought I was over it by now. But I guess not, because here I go again."

James silently fumed while the two boys continued to walk.

"I'm sorry."

James glanced at Remus and laughed. "No, don't apologize. It's not you. You know how I get when she—" He took a deep breath. "I need to stop talking about her."

"Okay."

"_Why did she kiss you?!_" James couldn't keep the word in his mouth.

"It was just a peck on the cheek, James."

"But what did you do for her to give it to you? Did you," he gave him a suspicious glance, "_comfort her?_"

"Prongs," Remus scolded, his tired eyes looking even more exhausted. He was so tired of the same questions. And generally, just tired. Lily had been so relaxing. "I only helped her with a problem. Maybe I did comfort her, but it's not like I was picking sides. And anyway, who said her problem was _you?_ You're not the only thing in her life." Prefect's honor. "So grow up and stop asking stupid questions that you already know the answer to." He continued to walk.

James stood still for a second, slightly dumb-struck, and sped up, pushing past Remus and shaking his head. "Maybe I'll just hang out with Sirius," he called coldly behind his shoulder. "Help him out with his plans, you know?"

Remus grabbed James's shoulder.

Naturally, he jerked away.

"Listen, Prongs," something in Remus's voice made James stop walking. "I'm sorry," Remus inhaled raggedly. "I didn't mean it. I've just been having mood swings, I suppose. Remember before? At the beginning of the month when you and that stupid git told me to speak to Dumbledore?"

James turned around.

"Well… I spoke to him. We, um," he blushed instantly, "couldn't figure out what's wrong with me. We're still working on it."

"Is there anything Sirius, Peter and I can do to help?"

"Ah, no. Like I said, Dumbledore and I don't know what's wrong."

Something about Remus's calm posture told James he was being less than truthful. He cocked his head to the side. "Okay…"

The two continued walking. Awkwardness tapped at their shoulders.

James broke it.

"I'm sorry about before… I was being a stupid prat. You know why. I don't want to go into tonight… just finished talking to Sirius about it. Do you know how depressed I was? I couldn't even enjoy my firewhisky!"

Remus nodded his head understandingly. "You know… she didn't kiss me because I helped her."

James was silent.

"You hurt her. She kissed me because she was acting out."

James's lip curled. "_I hurt her?_" He shook his head. "I don't know what she told you, Moony, but it's actually the other way around."

Remus laughed. "I didn't mean about the fight you two had a couple days ago."

James raised an eyebrow. "Then?"

"Before I invited her to join us, you ignored her completely. There's nothing worse than being ignored. At least if you hate her, you feel something from her. You acknowledge her."

"Moony, you and I both know I could never hate her. I'm only ignoring her because she asked me to. She told me to stop bothering her."

Remus chuckled. "Nobody wants to be ignored, Prongs. No matter how much they claim they do. You've ignored her request for so long, she was probably bluffing. And I suppose you called her on it," he gave James a sad smile. "There's nothing worse than someone's indifference, James."

---

Lily quietly closed the door to her dormitory and tip-toed over to her bed, hoping she was being deadly silent.

"If you weren't any sneakier, I'd say you were avoiding someone," a voice called out across from her.

Lily turned to her left. It was so dark in the room that she couldn't see who it was. "Who's that? Holly?"

"Mm."

Lily literally squealed with relief. "Oh good! I thought for a second you were that horrible Rita. She's been asking me questions nonstop in the last week!"

The girl who appeared to be Holly laughed out loud, her delightful laughter shaking her bed. "Oh, I know. That's why I took her bed. I hope she doesn't come back in the room tonight."

"Yes, I hope so too." Lily propped herself up on her bed and pulled out her wand. She muttered an incantation and flames shot from her wand and hit the dozens of candles that rested on her nightstand. The room lit up immediately and she glanced over at her friend.

Holly was lying on her bed, a silky mauve dress robe clinging to her thin frame and glistening under the moon's pale light. She had very long brown hair that stopped right at the bottom of her back and pretty brown eyes the color of coffee without sugar and cream. This, however, did not stop Holly from being one of the sweetest girls in school. Her charm was full of sugary goodness. Holly was the type of girl who looked like the doll everyone showed off when playing tea-party. She was half hidden in the shadows, but Lily could see her expression clearly. Holly had her usual dreamy smile on her face, and she was still giggling silently.

"Where's Alice?" Lily asked, looking over towards an empty bed. "I haven't seen her in a while."

Still smiling, Holly's eyes flickered. "Oh, she snuck out to Hogsmeade again to see that boyfriend of hers."

Lily smirked knowingly. "I can't believe Frank would allow her to sneak off like that. He was one of the most righteous boys I knew! _Prefect and Head boy._"

Holly snickered. "Ah, but you're forgetting about a known prefect around here who breaks lots of rules," she looked over at Lily and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, but I never said I was as righteous as Frank was!"

Holly laughed again. "I was talking about Remus Lupin. And I suppose there's you. Yes," she said, her voice sounding like she had just realized something. "You _do_ break lots of rules. But they're so mild I hardly ever notice. Alice is lucky she's friends with a prefect."

Lily rolled her eyes and fell into her pillows. "Alice _is_ lucky. She's been with Frank for nearly three years! And it sounds like things are still strong." She sounded gloomy.

"Mm," was Holly's reply before tilting her head and raising an eyebrow at Lily. "So, you say Rita's been asking questions? Is it because she saw you walk in here with only a sweater on?"

Lily sank back into her pillows. "I, uh, guess you heard the rumors?"

"Of course I have. It's all the school's been talking about." Holly smirked. "James Potter and Lily Evans! What happened?" she asked teasingly. "You were president of _the club!_"

Lily snorted as she thought of the childish 'I hate James Potter' club back in their first year. "I wish I knew what happened."

Holly looked at Lily cautiously. "I don't mean to pry… and I suppose you probably don't want to tell me, and you don't have to, but… the rumors… are they… true?"

A small smile flashed over Lily's face. But as fast as it came, it was gone. "About three percent is true. I _did_ end up spending the night with James…" she blushed, "but nothing extreme as a flying carpet happened. The other ninety-seven percent is all Sirius Black," Lily laughed.

Holly literally shuddered. "Oh," she moaned, turning her body towards Lily. Her long hair flew with her, sparkling against the ignited flames. "Sirius Black! I haven't thought about him in _ages._"

"It's has been more than a few months, hasn't it?" Lily asked with an amused smile.

"Yes, it has." Holly's dreamy smile was back on her face. "I think it's the longest time we've been apart yet."

Lily laughed again.

Because Holly was pretty and hardly ever dated boys, she was known to be a bit of a prude. However, this bit of information did not apply to the young Sirius Black. He was the only boy she allowed to touch her. They had an odd relationship, because both teenagers didn't want to date each other.

Lily turned her body over, her head resting on her elbow and facing Holly. Lily's eyes glowered with curiosity. "How long do you and Sirius go without each other, anyway?"

Holly bit her lip as she thought. "Oh, I don't know. We see each other every few months or so. It's never really planned. It just… sort of happens."

Lily grinned. "I don't see how you guys can do that. You guys are mental."

Holly chuckled. And when she stared at Lily, her eyes were coffee black, shimmering dangerously of desire. "I am a girl. I do have my needs," she explained lightly, a spirited tone following it. "Besides, are you dating James Potter?"

Lily frowned. "Er, no."

"Then aren't you basically doing the same thing I did? Do?"

Lily looked uneasy. "Not exactly. I mean… I wasn't completely aware of what I was doing… I was a bit," she hesitated, "under the influence."

Holly smiled softly. "A drunken mind speaks a sober heart."

Lily winced, but she ignored Holly's comment. "And anyway, it was a one time thing. I didn't mean for it to happen. He just… something about him just wants me to jump on him and snog the galleons out of him," she sighed dejectedly. "And there's another difference. Both you and Sirius don't want a relationship. James does."

"And you don't?"

"I don't know…"

"I don't understand it. Why don't you like him? I mean, I understood it from when we were in our first year… right to when we were in our fourth year," Holly graciously snorted. "He was the biggest oaf in school. Remember him back then? Just because he scored a billion goals in Quidditch and did well in his classes, he thought he was god."

"Not to mention, girls bowed down to him because of his looks," Lily replied.

Holly laughed. "Oh, okay. He is good-looking. I'll give him that. So I suppose it was the female population that gave him his arrogant attitude… but Lily, he's not like that anymore… did you see him last match?"

Lily looked distant. "I heard he did so poorly because of me."

"I believe that," Holly replied gently. "I couldn't believe it was James Potter out there. He normally leads us to victory."

Lily turned away and remained quiet.

"So why don't you like him?"

"It's complicated."

Holly took the hint. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be nosy." She thought of Rita and grimaced.

Lily smiled. "It's okay," she murmured, her heart tender against her chest. "Are you going to go back to Sirius anytime soon, then?"

Holly's laugh rang in Lily's ear. "I don't know. Like I've said before, we don't plan anything. But oh," she moaned again, clutching her heart and looking pensive, "how I'd love to be in his arms right now."

Lily turned her head back to her friend and quirked an eyebrow. "Is he really that good?"

"You have no idea. Of course, I can't really compare him to anyone…"

Lily scrunched up her nose. "Then why don't you find another boy?"

Holly smiled lazily. "Because I'm satisfied with Sirius. Boys are dogs. I'm not going to put up with them while I'm busy trying to get through school. They just aren't worth it to me at this age."

"Then why—?"

"But everyone needs companionship. Especially with the opposite sex. Sirius is the perfect candidate. Besides, I'm comfortable with him. And he certainly knows the right spots to hit," Holly laughed happily, finding their conversation quite amusing.

Lily made a gagging sound but sighed enviously. "You sound so carefree and reckless. I'm slightly jealous. Not about the reckless part," she laughed. "That's Sirius written all over. But the carefree part… I wish I didn't care so much about things."

"Mm." Holly shot Lily an uncertain glance. "What about James? Do you remember anything from that night?"

Red rushed to Lily's face, matching her hair. "I remember… most of it. James was, well," she felt slightly uncomfortable. "I don't know if I could talk about it. I mean, how would _you_ feel telling me about _Sirius?_"

Holly grinned and sat up a little, her hair falling into her twinkling eyes and swishing against the bed. "Sirius…" she hesitated, looking for the right words. "Sirius… is like an animal."

If anything was in Lily's mouth, it would be on the floor right now. "_What?!_" she exclaimed, staring at her friend's vague blush. "An animal? _Sirius?_" She laughed.

Holly smiled, her eyes fluttering shut. "That's the best way I can put it. I think… I think that's why I like being with him, and no other boy. He's… rough. Manly, you know? And he always likes to be on top," she laughed heartily. "I mean, of course he does the regular things… kissing me softly, murmuring against my skin, nibbling on my ears… but then… oh I don't know, he has this… _technique_ of sorts that… involves his tongue against my neck. I don't know what he does or how he does it… but—" Holly lifted her head to the heavens and bit her lip. "It's one of the best feelings in the world."

Lily chortled again. "Is it really?"

"Oh it is," Holly continued, the same aching expression on her face. "And then, when he gets most excited, he…" Holly smiled wistfully, "he bites me."

"_What?!_"

"Mm, it's just so surreal when he does it. It's like I know he's doing it, and I'm waiting for the pain, but it doesn't come. The sensation of when he does do it, though, his bite… It just feels… earth-shattering," she was almost panting, "sheer ecstasy." Holly's eyes were closed. "Mm," she sighed.

Lily was silent. "Wow," she breathed.

"'Wow,'" she laughed, "Doesn't even begin to describe it."

Lily looked back at her friend, an odd look on her face. "I find it amazing how comfortable you are talking to me about… this."

"Lily, dear, we've known each other since we were eleven. Our whole Hogwarts life. You're one of my closest friends. Why wouldn't I be comfortable?"

Lily smiled. "Well, even though I consider you one of my closest friends as well… I'm still not comfortable talking to you about James."

Holly giggled. "It's fine. I don't mind. You're still probably confused with where you are with James. I can understand that. That's why I don't like dealing with boys and relationships. They just mess with my head. I'll wait until I'm older, thank you very much," she grinned at Lily. "So, it's okay if you don't tell me. It's your business. Take your time."

The two girls lay quietly in their own beds, staring at the bottom of their top poster.

Lily's voice was soft when she spoke. "James was— well, James sounds nothing like Sirius in that way…"

Holly looked surprised, but she smiled anyway. "Does he?"

"Yes. Nothing like an animal."

Holly bit her lip and gazed at Lily carefully. "Well, from what I heard…"

Lily turned her head over towards the brunette.

"From the girls James has oh-so-carelessly, er, 'walked' around with… when they're gossiping about him… they say he's… er, impatient? Like he's eager to get it over with… but he does it so suavely they hardly notice it until the, er, 'deed' is done."

Lily frowned. "That's strange… it was nothing like that. The complete opposite, actually…" Lily smiled, her thoughts distracting her. "He was patient. Soft... and delicate. Like he didn't want to hurt me. And slow, not fast or eager at all. It was as if he was trying to memorize everything. And boy did he concentrate," this time Lily laughed. "His thoughts were so focused on finding out what I, uh, responded best to… it was strange for me. I've never experienced anything like it… it was one of the best nights of my life…"

Holly glanced over at her red-haired friend. She didn't miss the regretful smile Lily was holding. "So, Lily… why don't you like him, again?"

---

"Psst."

James's head snapped towards the direction of the sound. He squinted his eyes into the dark and leaned his head forward a little. He couldn't see anything. "Sirius?"

"Shhh," Sirius replied. "Is he sleeping?"

James looked over at Remus, who indeed was in a deep slumber. "I-I believe so. Sirius, where are you?"

Instantly, Sirius appeared, pulling off an invisibility cloak. "Right here, love."

James laughed, but it was short as Sirius urged him to be quiet. "Have you been in here the whole time?" he whispered, staring at him in disbelief.

"It was the only way he'd go back in the room," Sirius replied quietly. "Sorry for taking your cloak without asking," he added. He crouched down quietly and stuffed the cloak under James's bed. "Did I wake you?"

James snorted. "Of course not. I was—"

"Thinking?" Sirius interrupted casually, dusting off his clothes.

"Yes," James replied stiffly. He diverged deeper into his bed. "So… why didn't you just sleep? If he saw you asleep, he would have crept inside."

"I wanted to be awake when he was in here."

James blinked. "You could have left and waited 'til Remus fell asleep. Why wait in here the whole time. Wasn't that boring?"

"You have no idea," Sirius said lowly, shuddering at the thought. "But I couldn't leave. I don't know if you noticed, but Remus kept going out to see if I was in the Common room. I have nowhere else to go except there, and if Remus kept checking that place, then I certainly couldn't stay there! My plan would have been ruined!"

James grinned. "What's your plan, Padfoot?"

Sirius grinned mischievously, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "I've decided I'm going to make Remus admit that there's _something_ going on with him. And it involves sleep!"

James attempted to laugh again, but stopped himself before he opened his mouth. "Loved the paw prints."

"It was tricky clever, wasn't it?"

"Definitely. Drove him mad."

"Good. The git of a werewolf deserves it."

"I don't know that he's a git—"

"Have you seen how he's been treating me in the last week?"

"—But I'm going to have to agree with you about there being something up. He was acting rather queer earlier today. Something is definitely going on."

"Yes, and by tomorrow morning, we're going to find out what it is. So, now, are you _sure_ he's sleeping?"

James's glanced back at the snoozing werewolf. He didn't look awake in the least bit. "It certainly seems so."

"Okay, good. Goodnight Prongs," Sirius whispered mysteriously.

James tilted his head, but shrugged it off anyway. Who knew what went through Sirius's head. James was thinking about déjà vu when he heard a little shuffling. He turned towards Remus's bed and shook his head at the sight.

Sirius was slowly pulling Remus's blanket away before he sat down softly onto empty side of the werewolf. He sidled up and stopped, fear on his face when he heard the werewolf stirring. Much to Sirius's relief, it was only a false alarm. Remus snorted and turned around in his sleep, pulling the covers over him some more. Sirius had to put a hand to his face to keep from laughing as he slowly laid down on the bed and wrapped his free arm around the other exhausted boy's body. A little snigger escaped his lips, and he held his breath.

Remus's body continued to breathe steadily, his chest coming up and down in a harmonic rhythm.

Sirius exhaled.

James rolled his eyes but couldn't keep the grin of his face. Poor Remus. With that thought, he prayed for the sleep that was never to come.

Peter snored softly towards the oblivion of his other friends.

As for Sirius, he grinned wildly into the night at his brilliant plan of getting back at Remus for his ("rather uncalled for") rudeness. He didn't mind having a wrapping his arm around another man as snuggly as Remus. He was, after all, completely aware of his orientation. And then there was the whole fact that he was Sirius Black; he flirted with anything with a brain.

Sirius smiled sleepily into Remus's shoulder, awaiting the morning to come with utter excitement.

---

**AN**: Not very good, and very short, I know. I'm so sorry. This chapter was suppose to include a near-bed experience with one of the characters (not telling who, whether it be James and Lily or Sirius and Holly or Remus with someone) but I decided to put that scene in the next chapter. Anyway, I just wanted to hurry and post this up so you guys can get the feel of everything for the upcoming chapter. The next chapter includes the full moon and Snivellus. My oh my. OH! And, where I live, we're a day ahead of those in America. So, that's another reason why I'm posting this so soon. I GOT THE SEVENTH BOOK. So I don't know how long it'll be before I'm writing again. I read fast, but then it takes me a couple days to digest what I've read. I'm going to be depressed, I know it. I hope it doesn't affect this fic, because I love it so. And I love all of you guys (laughs). I think I'm just overwhelmed with fear and excitement. The book is staring at me. Okay, it's 3:50 AM, VERY early, and I'm dead exhausted. I'm pretty much rambling. HOPE YOU ENJOYED.


	11. You're Pathetic

**AN**: The reviews are a tremendous push for me to step forward and continue:) The seventh book really… it hit me. Harry Potter's done, you know? No more waiting. It really depressed me. And how it ended with that epilogue… I felt crushed but so happy at the same time.

I celebrated my birthday on Monday (I share the same birthday as Daniel Radcliffe, I'm two years younger than he is) it was funny because I finally watch the fifth movie that day too. Despite the major butchering of the book and the really disappointing Marauders scene, I loved it! My favorite to date. I can't really explain why. Something about it just made me feel excited when I watched it.

Anyway, I'm rambling. But I have to say, I was always a Snape fan ever since I felt bad for him in the fifth book. I always thought of him liking Lily (because she defended him,) so I was super happy with the seventh book. Also, I wrote this chapter before I read the book. So it was already planned, not a spur of the moment kind of thing:)

J.K. Rowling can't ever disappoint.

---

A cool crisp breeze whirled around the magnificent Hogwarts castle, blowing through the Forbidden forest and swooshing through the gigantic Quidditch field. Brown and orange leaves twirled and danced furiously, allowing themselves to be carried away against the gray-colored sky. The odd autumn warmth that year seemed to be fading away to its usual draftiness, and the smell of snow hovered through the air.

Remus, with his sandy-brown hair wavering as wind flew in from the cracks in the window, trembled at the cold and burrowed more deeply into the great warmth behind him. He nuzzled in his pillow and sighed happily.

With his eyes still shut, Remus thought of how bad the consequences could be if he decided to skip class and stay in his very comfortable bed. He never felt this relaxed in ages.

His mouth twisted in disappointment as he thought of his prefect badge and how he always betrayed Dumbledore with his monthly hunts… he didn't need to be getting in any more trouble than he already was.

And then there was Sirius.

Remus groaned. He had to get up now ("so early in the morning!") and leave before Sirius decides to wake up and try bothering him.

With a great deal of persuasion on his own account, Remus pushed his covers away, muttering things about stupid dogs and tempting beds under his breath. It was when he moved to get up that he felt something around his torso. He slowly looked down and saw a black arm wrapped around him.

Remus froze in horror, and gradually, he leaned his head back towards the unknown warmth. _Please God_, Remus thought to himself, _tell me it's not what I'm thinking_. When his head fit neatly into what appeared to be a neck, Remus got a strong whiff of … _is that soap? No… it's… some type of muggle perfume! What the—?_ Remus roared as loudly as he could. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" he bellowed, jumping up and whirling around towards his bed. His chest was rapidly heaving in and out and his eyes were thundering hazardously. He stared down at the shaggy-haired boy whose eyes fluttered open.

As Sirius snorted and turned away for more sleep, James and Peter abruptly sat up in their beds at the angry howl of a werewolf.

James rubbed his eyes sleepily and threw a glare towards Sirius. He snuggled deeper into his blanket and turned away, grumbling about gits who don't respect sleeping neighbors.

Peter, on the other hand, was wide awake. His heart was beating madly into his ribcage and his breathing was ragged. He squinted over to where the sound came from. "What's going on? What happened?" he asked urgently, scrambling to his feet and going over towards the exasperated Remus. He peered over his shoulder.

Sirius was still lying in bed, his eyes half opened and his arm lazily resting on his stomach. He snickered a little and shook his head. His beautiful black hair fell into his handsome face and he literally posed.

Remus inhaled. "WHAT—"

James pulled his blanket over him.

"—DO YOU—"

Peter tip-toed back to his bed and grabbed a book and pretended not to be listening.

"—THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

Sirius turned over on his side, propped his elbow up, and stared up at Remus with a daring smile. "Oi," he murmured calmly. "I was just sleeping Moony, no need to put on your fussy pants." He yawned slowly, his eyes never leaving Remus. Devil horns practically grew from his head. "So…" he leered. "_How did you sleep?_"

It was a taunt. It was a taunt, and Remus knew it. Instantly, he turned red and before he could contain himself, he lunged forward and grabbed Sirius by the throat.

"R-Remus," Sirius gasped, his hands trying to tug Remus's hold away. "Y-You're ch-choking me." Sirius swore he saw sharp teeth when Remus opened his mouth.

"_YOU DESERVE IT, YOU STUPID MUTT._"

Sirius whined in his dog-like manner and, with one hand wrapped around Remus's wrist, felt around the bed for his wand. He needed to change into a dog. He glanced over towards his side and saw his wand lying motionlessly on the ground near his own bed. Cursing under his breath, he narrowed his eyebrows and did the first thing that popped into his head. He leaned forward and bit Remus in the arm.

Remus flinched in disgust ("you don't know where his mouth has been!"), but his grasp didn't loosen. Remus almost laughed at the feeble attempt of fighting back. "NOT SO FUNNY ANYMORE IS IT?" he roared, his arms pressing further down.

Sirius struggled underneath the boy whose hormones were raging, fueling his fury as he lost control of all thought.

"R-Remus," Sirius panted. "Th-This isn't what's supposed to happen!"

"WHAT?" Remus yelled. "DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO SMILE IN YOUR ARMS AND LAUGH LOVINGLY IN YOUR EMBRACE?"

Despite his position, Sirius chuckled raggedly. He felt more pressure to his throat. "N-No," he wheezed. "Y-You woke up too early! Y-You were s-supposed to wake up a little later so I could be fully awake and," he puffed, "plot my next move."

"Well I'm sorry I ruined your brilliant plan," Remus sarcastically growled through gritted teeth.

Meanwhile, James was already on his feet and pulling at the werewolf's stomach. Unfortunately, Remus's wrath seemed to have given him lots of strength as his legs were kicking aimlessly away and hit James in the gut.

On the ground, James skidded back until he hit Peter's bed pole and glared at the two wrestling boys. He looked up and grabbed the book Peter had in his hands. He hurled it towards the werewolf and it hit Remus right in the head. He wasn't a chaser for nothing.

Immediately, Remus toppled over the side of the bed and a huge crack was heard as he hit the ground.

Breathing loudly, Sirius cautiously peered over the edge of the bed, afraid of another lunging attack. Much to his relief, one didn't come.

James was closely behind him, as well as Peter, staring over Sirius's back.

Exhaling from his nose, Sirius's glare was whipped away and he jumped to the floor. He crouched to the ground and pushed at his battered friend who was completely motionless.

"Maybe it's a trap…" Peter whispered.

Sirius frowned. "No, I don't think so… I think… I think he fainted…"

James got off the bed and followed Sirius's example, lifting Remus's eyelids. "Yeah, he's knocked out."

Sirius pouted and pushed his palm on Remus's chest. "Wake up, Moony."

James blinked rapidly and stared at his friend.

Sirius felt it. "What?"

"You want him to wake up? Padfoot, _he attacked you_."

"Yeah," Sirius replied adoringly, staring down at his unconscious friend. "First time ever. It's usually me doing the attacking. I can't help but feel proud."

James continued to stare in disbelief. "_Sirius_. This is different. This wasn't some playful fight."

"I know," Sirius snapped, slightly annoyed. "What, you against him now?"

"Of course not! I just don't want him to wake up and attack me next! He's been really unstable the past few weeks." James gave Sirius a weary glance. "You shouldn't have done that trick on him after knowing he doesn't like it, Padfoot."

Sirius scoffed. "Since when have _you_ ever stopped doing something simply because they didn't like it? Besides, you were all for it to last night."

"Yes, but I didn't think he'd respond like this."

"We both didn't…" Sirius replied moodily, beginning to stand up. James did as well.

"So, you're not angry at him?"

Sirius shook his head.

James looked bemused.

As Sirius sighed, Peter jumped off Remus's bed and started helping James and him pick Remus up. "If he really was attacking me… I don't want to think Moony would do something like that, okay? I'd be angry... and then I won't talk to him, and then… we'll have an even longer silent treatment fight. I'm tired of it, Prongs. I miss my friend."

James stared some more before shaking his head and turning away. He began moving backwards towards the door with Remus's shoulders in his grip.

"Where are we going?" Peter asked, thinking they were just going to rest him back on his bed.

"Hospital wing, of course," James replied.

They silently left the dormitory and crept out of the Gryffindor common room.

"James," Sirius suddenly asked as the three boys carried Remus through the hallways.

"Hm?"

"Do you think Remus attacked me?"

James shot him a pointed look.

"No, I mean. D'you think he _really_ wanted to hurt me?"

James looked uneasy and looked over at Peter.

Peter shrugged.

"I… I dunno," James finally said, staring down at Remus's face. "It certainly seemed so," at the sight of Sirius's expression, James added quickly, "but I think it's more than that stunt you pulled. It's not just you… something's troubling him."

Down at Remus's feet, Sirius nodded his head, his mouth still in a pout. "I know… that's what I was trying to find out… I didn't mean," he almost choked. "This wasn't supposed—"

"I know," James replied.

"Why do you think he fainted?" Peter asked curiously, nearing the hospital wing.

"I think it was from too much stress."

Sirius looked guilty.

After being shooed away from a bustling Madam Pomfrey, the three remaining boys headed back towards their dormitory, discussing what could be up with their werewolf friend.

---

Frustrated, James grabbed his ink bottle and hurled it against the wall. It crashed, splattered, and the glass flew everywhere.

Lily came flying down the stairs from her dormitory, her fiery hair right behind her. She gaped at James when she saw what he had done. "What do you think you're doing?"

They were both in the deserted Gryffindor common room, staring at each other: James sitting at a desk, Lily standing in front of the fireplace. Class was in session, but neither of them were in.

"What do you want, Evans," James snarled at her. He was not in the mood to deal with her right now. Not to mention, he was trying to get over her.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "If I were you, Potter, I'd clean that mess up right now," she replied coldly.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" James countered, standing up from his seat and kicking it back, causing it to wobble. You know what? Maybe he _will_ deal with her. She'd be his distraction. Yeah... he needed a distraction. Get his best friend's state out of his mind.

"I'm a prefect," Lily replied coolly.

James let out a humorless laugh. "And you think _that's_ going to make me clean up my mess? Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't listen to _prefects_."

Lily sneered and quirked an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"

James started walking towards her. "It's none of your business," he growled.

Lily pulled out her wand and pointed it towards the glass shards and dripping black ink. "_Scourgify_."

James's lip curled. "Why thank you, Princess. I always thought you resembled Cinderella."

"I didn't do it for you," Lily snapped back. "Like I said, I'm a prefect. It's my job."

James cocked his head to the side, smiling a little. "Why aren't you in class?"

"I could be asking you the same thing."

James smirked. "Ah, but I asked first."

Lily returned his smirk. "Last year," she said with a calm demeanor. "I took extra courses, did a bit more than I was supposed to. I did this so I could take the preparation for N.E.W.T.s class, but that doesn't start 'til next term. After Christmas holidays. So I have a free study period," her green eyes were like frozen ice. "Now you."

James grimaced but gave her yet another sardonic smile. "Just didn't feel like going to class."

"Then I'm going to have to report you."

James grabbed Lily's wrist and jerked her towards him. "I'd like to see you try."

Lily's eyes burned furiously. "Just because you're the famous James Potter, Quidditch champion and arrogant genius, you think I'll just let you slip by?" she laughed unsmilingly. "I'm sorry, Potter, but I'm not one of your little fan girls. And I'm certainly not your best friend, not like Remus."

James's mouth twisted and he pulled her closer still. "Well, I'm sorry you're not one of my fan girls," he snarled.

Lily resisted the urge to spit in his face.

"But that's not going to stop me from doing this."

And before she could notice the lust creeping in James's eyes that he was trying so hard to hide, he pushed his lips against hers. She felt his mouth and moaned before pushing away.

"We're not going through with this again—"

"I don't care, Evans," he groaned with an annoyed look on his face. He looked so frustrated.

"What's wrong with you?" Lily asked, aggravated. But her question was completely ignored as James, again, kissed her hard against the mouth. This time, she didn't pull away, and when James pushed her backwards, she let him.

The two continued to kiss, tidal waves soaring through their bodies and mesmerizing them completely into each other. Lily gasped between each kiss while James inhaled constantly, moving her more towards the common room couch.

With her hand in his unruly hair, Lily pulled away and took in a jagged breath. "This is the common room," she whispered furiously, glaring at him.

James smirked, his hazel eyes dancing and melting into caramel. "So what? I've never done it in here before…"

Lily smacked him hard against his shoulder and growled. "What makes you think anything is going to be 'done' in here?"

James let out a throaty chuckled and kissed her again. "C'mon, Evans… take a challenge with me."

Lily felt her body twitching and responding to the feeling he was putting inside her. She felt their kisses getting shorter, more livid. She also felt James, like many times before, groping at her skin.

This time, James tugged at her sweater. And before she could protest, he had already ripped it off. "I—" Lily moaned, her mind going frazzled. She couldn't think straight. "Potter—"

"Yes, Princess?" James sneered in between their lips.

Oh how she loathed that nickname. She bit into his lip and pushed him down onto the couch. "Don't you dare bait me," she said through gritted teeth.

"What," James said innocently, his roguish smile surfacing over his face slowly. "You can dish it out but you can't handle it?"

Lily straddled him and pressed her palms into his chest. They continued to kiss, a fire jumping excitedly through their body as Lily felt under James's shirt, feeling at his hot skin. "You don't want to do this, Potter," Lily threatened, glaring down at him.

James returned her glare. "Oh I think I do."

"And what are you going to do afterwards?" Lily taunted with mock-concern. "Going to yell at me again? Going to call me a monster for using you?"

James's jaw clenched and he lunged forward, pinning Lily against the couch's armrest. "Not this time, Evans." He stared intensely at her. "This is meaningless."

Lily eyed him and tilted her head to the side. "Is it?"

"Yes. I only want you."

"So you desire me?"

"I do."

Lily continued to stare at him. She didn't notice that James was tracing hearts onto her thigh. "I think you're lying."

James's lip curled. "You're only a horizontal dance to me, Evans."

Lily's eyes flashed but she still leaned in towards him.

He got a quick whiff of strawberries and vanilla.

Lily kissed him softly, barely touching his lips. She moved to his jaw and left a soft trail of wet kisses down towards his neck. She heard him sigh. Eyes still flashing dangerously, she leaned in towards James's ears and whispered, "Whatever lets you sleep at night, Potter. I'll dance with you. But I hope you know that it was _me_ who rejected you, _me_ who doesn't think of things going any farther than this, and it's _me_ who's going to go to sleep tonight feeling greatly satisfied without a single thought of remorse."

James flinched, his eyes shooting daggers at her. He never thought he could feel such contradicting feelings all at once. Quickly, he grabbed her wrists again and pulled her down with him. He smashed his lips against her, angrily, and kissed her endlessly, hating how his body was aching for more. That just kissing her simply wasn't enough. "LIAR," he finally bellowed, his emotions surfacing more greatly.

Lily could have laughed, but she kissed him instead. Breathing hard, she stated the three words she longed to say. "I hate you."

Though he didn't show it, James felt his heart crack. "The feelings mutual."

Lily's eyes smirked, but her mouth stayed in a straight line. "Is it really? Then why don't you have to guts to say it?" She pulled his shirt off, his bare chest heaving greatly against hers.

"Because," he said slowly as she pulled off his glasses. Now there was nothing between their faces. His wild hair fell into his eyes, and Lily stared down at him, her legs wrapped around his waist. "I love you more."

Lily did what James expected her to: she twitched. "Then why are you doing this?"

"Because I want you."

"Even if it hurts you?"

James rolled his eyes. "I don't care anymore. I want you enough that... I don't care if you hurt me."

"You're pathetic, Potter."

James glowered. "It hurts you more to do this, knowing I love you, though, doesn't it?"

She didn't deny it. Lily's hands traveled down his chest, she felt him inhale. "Then I should stop doing this," she purred, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

James's needs were rising, he felt it in his gut, and he felt it in his fingertips. She couldn't just stop. He'd be in both physical and mental pain all day. He needed this. It was the closet room all over again. "You wouldn't."

Lily flipped her dark red hair. "Yes I would. Remember," she breathed, pulling her body away from James's heating up one. "We're in the common room."

James grabbed Lily's shoulders and pulled her back towards him. Their mouths grazed each others. They were both breathing heavily.

"You've got to break the rules sometimes, prefect."

"You're pathetic, Potter."

---

"Mind if I have a seat?"

The school day was over, and it was getting dark. The sun was setting softly and light was becoming scarce.

Lily looked up from her book and grimaced. "Yes, I do mind."

Naturally, Sirius ignored Lily's reply and plopped himself down next to her under the tree where she was reading.

Lily felt his waist touch her. Annoyed, she scooted away and pushed her book in Sirius's face. "Go away."

Sirius barked a laugh, shoving the book back. "I'm your lover's best friend. Where do you think he learned it all from? It's going to take more than that to push me away."

"I am _not_ Potter's _lover_," Lily spat venomously.

Sirius laughed again. "Who said I was talking about James? Hm," he said evilly, his eyebrows quirking. "_James._ Now why did you bring _him_ up?" Sirius mocked a surprised expression. "You slept with James?!"

Lily groaned and made movement to get up. It never happened, as Sirius was holding her hand.

"I'm only joking," Sirius said, staring intensely at Lily.

Their eyes clashed.

"Speaking of James," Sirius continued, letting go of Lily's hand. "He told me about your run-in with Moony," he said casually.

"And what?" Lily snapped, still annoyed. "We weren't doing anything. Didn't Potter tell you?"

Sirius grinned. "There you go again! Bringing James up!"

Lily scoffed. "You just said, 'speaking of James.'"

Sirius tapped his chin. "Ah, I _did_ say that. However, _Evans_, you made it sound as if James thought you guys were doing something you shouldn't have been doing."

Lily blinked. "I—No, I didn't."

"Feeling guilty?"

Lily looked offended. "What? No."

"Well, you brought up that you guys 'weren't doing anything' so quickly it must have been on your mind!"

Lily inhaled sharply. "What do you want, Sirius?"

Sirius suddenly lived up to his name and turned serious. "Well, like I mentioned earlier, Prongs said he found you and Moony together… did Moony, er, tell you about something?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "He told me lots of things… it depends. What are you asking for?"

"I don't know yet. Anything! What did he say?"

Lily pursed her lips. "I'm sorry, what Remus and I talked about isn't any of your business."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed, feeling desperate. "This is important!"

Lily raised her head to the side. "Again, I'm sorry… but I promised I wouldn't say anything."

Sirius looked a little hurt, his exhilarating gray eyes faltering a bit. "So there _is_ something going on that he's keeping secret, huh? If he asked you not to tell anyone… but why didn't he tell me? Or James? Or Peter for that matter! We're his best mates!"

Lily bit her lip and awkwardly patted Sirius on the arm. "It's okay… I-I think it's because you guys are always teasing him that… he doesn't want to say anything…"

Sirius snapped his head at the red-head and smiled evilly. "So it's something embarrassing, is it?"

Lily's nostrils flared. "See? That is exactly why he didn't tell you guys!"

Sirius's smile left and he looked guilty. "Sorry… habit…" He eyed Lily curiously. "Still… can't you tell me?"

"No," Lily replied stiffly.

Sirius leaned in towards her. "Evans." He was getting annoyed. "This is important."

"You've said that before," Lily replied coldly. "What's so important?"

Sirius looked grim. "It's Moony… he's in the hospital wing."

Lily did two things at once. Tensed, then a second later, instantly leaped up. "What?!" she asked, staring down at the startled Sirius. "_In the hospital wing?_ Not in bed? Oh I've got to go see him!" She thought frantically of Remus… and then James. _So that's why he was so frustrated earlier._ She bit her lip guiltily at the thought of what had happened. She glanced at Sirius. Surely James didn't tell him yet. _Nah, it would have been the first thing he'd bring up to me under this tree._ Pushing her thoughts away, she grabbed her book and began heading off towards the castle.

Sirius was right behind her and he grabbed her arm.

"Evans," he said again. "What's the matter? What do you mean 'not in bed?' Do you know what's wrong with him? Tell me!"

"No, I don't. I'm not sure," Lily replied hurriedly. "What happened exactly?"

Still rushing, Sirius bit his lip. "Er, I dunno really. We were, er, wrestling…"

Lily shot him a look.

"Just a little playful fight," Sirius added quickly. "And then, I guess things go too rough and… he, er, fainted. He's been knocked out for thirteen hours already. Missed all his classes!"

Crossing through the courtyard, Lily frowned. "_Thirteen hours?_"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, still speed-walking behind her. "Didn't you find it strange that he didn't show up in any of your classes?"

"Of course not, this is normally the day he doesn't come to class. Ever since I became his prefect partner, I've noticed. Dumbledore told me he gets ill around this time, didn't you know? You are his best friend, I suspect he told you… But to be in the hospital wing—!" Lily finally noticed that Sirius was no longer behind her. She stopped and turned around to see Sirius standing still, his face filled with horror. "What's wrong?"

"T-Tonight," Sirius exclaimed. "Right. He's ill! I've got to find James!"

Sirius sprinted past Lily, and she followed him, trying to keep up.

Bursting through the dormitory, Sirius found James sprawled on his bed, tossing a quaffle up in the air. James straightened up and looked relieved. "Finally! I've got loads to tell you! Where have you—"

Just then, Lily came right behind Sirius and collapsed into him. Huffing and puffing, Lily leaned in towards the shaggy-haired boy. "You," she panted. "Run too fast."

James scrambled to his feet and eyed the couple who were bent over and breathing loudly. "What's going on?"

"M-Moony," Sirius panted, leaning against the doorframe and holding Lily against his chest. "T-Tonight. Full moon."

Lily pulled away and looked up at Sirius quizzically. "Full moon?"

But Sirius ignored her, staring at James. "He's still with Madam Pomfrey," he continued. "And he's loose."

Throwing the fact that Lily was intimately close to Sirius out of his mind, James's eyes widened and he pushed past the couple. Sirius and Lily followed him out.

Once the trio reached the hospital wing, James and Sirius exploded into the room.

Instantly, Madam Pomfrey hurriedly walked over towards them and started shooing them away. "Not now, boys," she said sternly. "It's past visiting hours. And he needs his sleep. He looks absolutely worn out!"

"N-No," James stuttered, trying to get past her wide arms. "You don't understand—"

"Nothing is going to convince me, Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey replied. "Not after last time. I've learned my lesson."

Sirius glared. "James did that as a joke! We're being serious now!"

Madam Pomfrey looked sharply at Sirius. "Not tonight, Mr. Black. You boys can come back and see him tomorrow."

And with that, she pushed the two boys out the door.

Lily gasped as they both pushed her, stumbling over their feet.

James stared at her endlessly. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No—" Lily began, but was interrupted by Sirius's tap on James's shoulder.

"We've got to do something. The sun's almost completely down."

James's expression looked worried.

Lily frowned. "What—"

Suddenly, both Sirius and James looked at each other. "Dumbledore," they said together. And immediately, they both took off in the same direction.

Lily stood alone in the hall right in front of the hospital wing, looking mighty confused. _What was that about? Full moon? What's going on...? Remus… he's not a … werewolf, is he?_ She thought back towards her lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts from third year. _No… there's no way. Dumbledore wouldn't allow a werewolf to come to Hogwarts. That would cause risk to the students… what else has to do with the full moon? Er, Polyjuice potion…_ Lily's thoughts were interrupted by a terrible scream. She rushed into the hospital wing and gasped in horror at the sight in front of her.

It was a werewolf.

A very tall, very ferocious looking werewolf.

And he was looking hungrily at Lily, his eyes staring crazily at her.

Lily couldn't move, couldn't speak, she was petrified to immobile. She stared at the animal.

He crept near her, and when Lily made a move to run, he pounced at her.

Lily let out a shriek as she felt the scratchy fur hit her against the face. Next thing she knew, she was being whisked away in the arms of the werewolf, flying past the empty classrooms and out into the school grounds. Her mouth was muffled by a bunch of fur as she watched the beast's head sniff cunningly into the air and head off towards the Forbidden forest.

---

Sirius and James skidded to a halt as they reached an ugly gargoyle.

"What's the password?" Sirius yelled frantically at James, leaning his body against the stone in front of him.

"I-I dunno. Er, chocolate frog?" James's mind was racing. "Something to do with sweets," James added hastily.

Sirius began pacing the hall. "What was it before?"

James thought hard and quickly. "Um, well, this was last year after getting caught in the kitchens…"

"Not the time, Prongs. Remus is loose and nowhere near the Shrieking Shack! What was it?"

"Um…" James concentrated. "Vomit bean."

Nothing happened.

Sirius snorted. "Vomit bean? _Vomit bean?_ Why would Dumbledore chose _that_ as a password?"

"I dunno! Does it matter?" James snapped.

A loud shriek sounded off into the distance.

"Lily!" James yelled. He knew that voice anywhere. He turned around and began sprinting towards the hospital wing. Sirius was following close behind him.

While still running, James pulled out his wand and transformed into a Stag. He sped up, his long legs leaping through the courtyard.

Sirius followed suit and turned into a dog, rushing beside the stag.

James suddenly stopped when they reached the Quidditch field and lifted his head towards the sky.

Sirius sniffed around.

As if communicating inaudibly, the two animals simultaneously sped off into the Forbidden forest.

---

Lily was sobbing as she watched her tears fall into the grayish-brown fur and melt away into nothingness. The werewolf had slowed down, padding through the trees and walking through the mushy ground.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the werewolf found a satisfactory spot deep into the forest and dropped Lily harshly onto the ground.

She gasped, and looked up with fear at the retreating bushy tail. He seemed to be checking if the coast was clear. "R-Remus?" she tried, her voice very soft.

The werewolf turned around and leered at her.

"I-Is that you?" Lily's green eyes were wide with panic, she didn't blink, and they glossed over. "Remus?" She felt around her robe for her wand. She pulled it out and pointed it towards Remus, her hands shaking horribly.

The werewolf cocked its head.

"P-Please don't hurt me," Lily said in a small voice. Her cheeks held cracking dry mud, and her hair was in her face.

Remus crept towards the vulnerable girl, his eyes staring greedily at her, his stomach growling very audibly, his teeth surfacing towards her.

Lily gulped. "R-Remus. I know you're in there…" she tried desperately.

The werewolf was getting nearer, crouching down lower…

"Y-You d-don't have to d-do this…"

The werewolf looked like he was ready to ravish her when Lily bravely flung herself against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

The werewolf let out a loud howl and a distant shuffling was heard.

"Remus!" Lily wailed into the thick coat of fur. "Y-You're a good person!" She yelled against the werewolf's howling. "I know you can hear me! I know you're still in there!"

Remus growled viciously and smacked Lily's wand out of her grasp. She inhaled sharply. "You d-don't have it in you to do this!" Her voice was stifled as her face was hidden in his chest. Suddenly, the werewolf threw Lily to the ground, howling even louder.

Maybe… she got to him.

Lily was breathing hard and saw her wand lying towards Remus's feet. Looking around frantically, she spotted a gigantic rock a couple feet away from her. As she was about to grab it, the werewolf lunged himself on top of Lily again, his claws digging into her wrists and he opened his mouth wide.

Tears gushed out of Lily's eyes as she closed them shut. This was it. This was the end. The shuffling noise came even louder. Gulping, Lily waited for the immense pain that was to come.

Nothing happened.

She snapped opened her eyes and found herself staring as a stag and shaggy black dog attacked the werewolf. She gasped, sitting there, as she watched the stag charge his antlers into the beast's body.

A series of growls, barks, and howling was heard. It looked as if the stag and dog were winning until a horrible whine flew into the air.

The black dog let out a loud whimper as he was thrown against the mud and the stag was closely behind, his huge body falling hard against the dog.

"No!" Lily exclaimed, staring at the miraculous animals that were trying to save her.

The werewolf was moving in on her again, very quickly this time.

Lily dragged her body towards the rock she saw earlier and hurled it at the werewolf.

Immediately the werewolf lifted his head up and let out another skin-boiling howl.

During its distraction, Lily twisted to her feet and rushed to the injured animals. She crouched down when she reached the beautiful stag and tried to help him to its feet. She noticed one of the stag's legs was at an awkward angle. She turned towards the whimpering dog and saw that he was almost knocked out. She stroked his muzzle.

Thinking quickly, Lily looked around and found her wand off to the side. It must have been kicked away during the fight. She pointed the wand at the stag's leg and muttered an incantation.

The stag sprang to his feet and went, yet again, head first into the werewolf's inflating chest.

She ran her hands absentmindedly through the black dog's shiny coat, watching with a worried expression as the stag wrestled with the werewolf.

The dog nudged her hand and she looked down. He had her wand in his mouth, as if he was trying to pull it away from her grasp.

"I might hit your friend," Lily whispered to the dog.

He nudged her again, and at that moment the werewolf came hurdling towards her.

Before the werewolf could knock Lily out, the black shaggy dog pulled himself up to his feet with all his strength and pushed Lily away, taking the blow himself. The mutt let out another loud whimper as the werewolf collapsed onto him, his body crushing the smaller one below him.

Lily let out another yell and crawled back over towards the black dog. She pushed the werewolf off him and crouched down into the dog's face. His gray stormy eyes looked oddly familiar, and she felt his breath fading away. "No…" she moaned, staring at man's best friend. She saw blood trickling down the dog's mouth.

From behind her the stag galloped towards her and pulled her wand out of her grasp. Soon after a tall boy was standing in the stag's place: a boy with black untidy hair and warm hazel eyes.

"J-James?" Lily yelped.

James bent down towards her and ignored her gasps of shock. He placed a soft hand onto the black dog's coat. He pointed the wand at him, did a tricky swish, and at once the mutt turned into a wheezing Sirius Black.

"S-S-Sirius?" Lily sputtered, staring wildly at the two boys.

"Are you okay?" James asked worriedly at his best friend whose eyes were closed.

Sirius coughed, blood spurting, but laughed anyway. It was ragged. "'Course," he said. "I'm always okay…" he turned towards the werewolf. "How is he?" His voice was fading.

James looked over at the werewolf. "Unconscious. He'll be okay." He pointed Lily's wand at Remus and with a bang, invisible strings wrapped around him tightly. James looked back at Sirius. "I'm going to carry you on my back, okay?"

Sirius shook his head in what appeared to be a furious manner, but it didn't work too well. He winced painfully after shaking his head once. "N-No. I'm fine. I can get up myself," he said weakly.

"Now's not the time to try and do something yourself, Sirius," James snapped. "You're injured and weak. We're doing this." He finally acknowledged Lily. His annoyed face turned soft. "Are you okay? You're not hurt are you?"

Lily shook her head no. "Just a few scratches and bruises." She looked down at her wrist, blood oozing from a paw-shaped imprint. "Nothing to worry about."

Despite her protests, James grabbed her wrists and examined them closely. "He didn't bite you, did he?" he asked her softly. His light hazel eyes reached into Lily's emerald ones with great adulation.

"N-No."

"Good," James sighed with relief, and then his voice turned into urgency. "Okay, I'm going to change back into a stag. Help lift him on my back, could you? We need to hurry and get him to the hospital wing. I think something's punctured in his lungs."

Lily quickly nodded her head, but before James could transform, and voice was heard from behind.

"James."

Lily and James whirled around and saw Dumbledore briskly walking towards them, a concerned expression playing on his face. His silver beard glinted against the pale moonlight and his cerulean robes swished behind him. "Are you guys alright?" He looked down at the cowering Sirius. "Oh dear."

Madam Pomfrey came hurriedly through the trees and gaped at the scene in front of her: Sirius, lying on the ground, grasping his chest, Lily, blood dripping from her face and arms, James, looking very dirty and bruised, and lastly, the struggling werewolf bound by magic beside the headmaster.

"Do you think you can mend Mr. Black's wounds right here, Poppy?" Dumbledore asked hastily, glancing at the werewolf.

Madam Pomfrey looked hesitant. "I-I can try, sir." She squatted down towards the handsome young man and pulled out her wand. She tapped him and listened.

Lily and James exchanged odd looks but waited.

After a moment, Madam Pomfrey mumbled a few words and Sirius let out a cry of pain.

She quickly stood up and looked towards the two waiting students and Dumbledore. "His ribcage is broken."

Dumbledore looked calm, but Lily and James looked shocked.

"That's not the worst of it," Madam Pomfrey continued grimly. "A bone went through his lung and he's bleeding internally. Now, I put an aerial charm in his lungs to keep him from suffocating. That was why he yelled. It's a painful process."

Lily and James winced.

"I've also mended his bones, but he's going to have to go to the hospital wing and stay there for a few days. He needs to rebuild his strength and take a potion for his lack of blood."

Dumbledore nodded and whipped his wand out. He pointed it at Sirius and he was lifted from the ground. Dumbledore turned towards Lily and James. "Follow Poppy and help take Mr. Black to the hospital wing. I'll deal with Mr. Lupin here."

James and Lily quickly nodded their heads and followed Madam Pomfrey into the thick trees towards Hogwarts.

Once they were out of sight, Dumbledore looked down sadly at the shabby werewolf who was whimpering in his position.

As he felt Dumbledore nearing him, Remus let out a pathetic growl.

"I know, Remus," Dumbledore muttered desolately as he lifted the werewolf up into the air. His blue eyes had lost its twinkle. "I know."

---

James let out a great exhausted sigh as he collapsed fully onto his great four-poster bed. He ran his hands through his hair as he relived the night. He winced openly as he thought of his best friends lying in the hospital wing, both Remus and Sirius.

"_They're going to stay here for a couple days. Mr. Lupin should be transforming back soon, dear," Madam Pomfrey told James. She was being unusually nice. "Mr. Black took the potion and is sleeping, and Miss Evans seems to have fallen asleep as well."_

_James bit his lip. "H-How is she?"_

_Madam Pomfrey smiled. "She's fine, dear. Just a bunch of cuts and bruises. Speaking of which, she had a very bloody scratch on her back, but I've healed it the best I could. There's only a scar now. It'll go away eventually, I'm sure."_

_James paled. "A… a scratch?"_

"_Yes. Mr. Lupin's doing."_

_Images flashed through James's mind back to third year. _Werewolves… werewolves…_ He sighed in relief, remembering getting scratched by a werewolf doesn't transform her. Getting bite does. "Any bite marks?" James asked quickly, just to make sure._

"_Fortunately, no. She'll be able to leave tomorrow. I suggest you get some sleep yourself, dear. You've had a busy night."_

"_Can… Can I stay here? I don't want to leave them," James said anxiously, peering over Madam Pomfrey's shoulder. _Lily looks like an angel_, he thought._

_Madam Pomfrey's strict attitude came back at once. "Absolutely not. You can come by tomorrow."_

_After arguing a bit more, James finally admitted defeat and turned to leave when he heard his name called out._

"_Can I talk to him for just a second, please, Madam Pomfrey?" He heard Lily ask._

_Madam Pomfrey looked sour. "Oh alright, but not too long. I'll be back out in a moment."_

_James walked over the red-head as the nurse bustled away. "Hey," he said softly._

_Lily looked nervous. "Hey."_

_James glanced at the big bruise on her temple. "How are you feeling?"_

"_Much better," Lily whispered, her emerald eyes shining. "Thanks to you."_

"_Hm?"_

"_You saved my life, James."_

_James chuckled. "You should be thanking Sirius, not me."_

_Lily tilted her head to the side, her hair falling beside her. "James Potter?" she asked in mock surprise. "Being modest? I don't believe it!"_

_James laughed again, softly. "Sirius got hurt, Lily. Bad."_

_Lily glanced over at the moaning boy with black shaggy hair in the next bed. "I know," she said softly. "I'll thank him when he's awake." She looked back at James. "But I want to thank both of you. You saved me too. And in case you didn't notice, you were hurt as well."_

_James looked at his foot and grinned at Lily. "Ah, but you fixed that, didn't you?"_

_Lily frowned. "I was so worried."_

_James was silent._

"_Well…Severus was right," Lily mused aloud._

_James's eyes narrowed and he looked at her sharply. "Right about what? You still talk to Snivellus?"_

_Lily looked surprised. "Well… yes. Of course I do… well, I haven't in a long time… but… a while back…he mentioned he thought something strange was happening with Remus. He mentioned the full moon… but I denied it, of course…"_

_James stared behind her. "He… he didn't tell you, right?"_

_Lily looked hesitant. "Er, he tried. I kind of… cut him off."_

_James looked at her curiously._

"_It was nice of you to… save him like that."_

_James's jaw clenched tightly. "Sirius was being a stupid git. I had to."_

"_Yes, he was…" Lily agreed, thinking about it. "But you didn't have to save him. No wonder you're in Gryffindor."_

_A silence slithered in towards the couple._

"_So…whenever you talked about Remus's bunny…"_

_James lifted an eyebrow._

"_There was no bunny, was there?"_

"_Huh?"_

_Lily blushed a little. "You always said Remus—"_

"_Oh! Right." James laughed. "There was no bunny."_

_The silence hissed and snapped._

"_Er, James?"_

"_Hm?"_

_Lily hesitated. "W-When… did you become an animagi?"_

_James laughed silently. "I was wondering when you'd bring that up."_

_Lily looked like she was in awe. "But James…to become an animagus…it's very difficult… and dangerous… and you're only sixteen!"_

_James leaned in towards her. "I know…Sirius, Peter, and I became animagus back in fifth year… we've been trying ever since we learned Remus was a werewolf."_

_Lily blinked. "_Fifth year? Peter_? Oh… wow."_

_James laughed again._

"_So… being an animal… Remus is friendly with you guys?"_

"_That's how it is."_

"_Wow."_

_James looked away, down at his shoes._

_Lily reached an arm out and clasped his hand into hers. "You were really brave tonight," she said quietly. "You fought your friend… to save me."_

"_Well, that wasn't really Remus," James tried to defend. "I mean, it was… but he couldn't control it."_

_Lily smile a little. "I know… but you still saved me."_

_James squeezed her hand. "So did Sirius."_

_Lily let out a little laugh. "You still saved me."_

_James turned bright red, and even in the very dark hospital wing, Lily saw it. "So…are we… er, friendly again? After what happened earlier today?"_

"_I-I don't know. It's not really clicking in my head. The shock still hasn't worn off…"_

"_Oh…well, I thought you were being abnormally nice to me."_

"_I'm always nice to you, Lily."_

_Lily scoffed._

"_Hey," James said indignantly. He winked at her. "I saved your life."_

"_James?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Thank you."_

He glanced over at the empty beds, wondering where Peter was. Probably forgot the password or something.

As he was deciding whether or not to go out and search for the missing rat or to stay in bed and fall asleep, the door to his dormitory opened. He looked up, his leg hanging lazily on the edge of his bed.

It was Lily.

James took in a quick breath and quickly got to his feet and walked towards her.

She just closed the door when she turned around and came face-to-face with brilliant hazel eyes. A sharp inhale was closely followed. Neither knowing who did it.

James looked worried. "Are you okay?"

Lily smiled lightly, but the water around her eyes stated otherwise. "You've got to stop asking me that," she joked, sniffing a little. "I'm fine. Though… Madam Pomfrey doesn't know I left…"

James, despite his mind screaming him not to, put a hand to Lily's cheek. She instinctively responded by leaning into it. "I always knew you were into breaking rules," he murmured.

Lily tensed and licked her lips. "Yes, well, I hang around you too much." And against her own wishes, the water around her eyes began to fall, sputtering against her cheeks, falling into James's hand.

"What's the matter?"

Lily sniffed as James's body leaned more into her.

"Why are you crying?"

"I can't stop thinking of tonight."

James gave her a lop-sided smile. "Tonight? Don't let that worry you… that was nothing. Not compared to the first night Sirius, Peter, and I found out."

Lily looked even more worried.

"But something that aggressive rarely ever happens," James added quickly.

She relaxed more. "It… It was scary," Lily explained. "I thought I was going to die… and by the hands of my friend!" She shuddered. "I think that would be the worst way to go…"

James nodded his head. "I agree. Imagine, Sirius killing me. I don't know what I'd do if I were alive after that." He laughed. "Scary."

Lily sighed against his chest. "Oh James," she whispered, staring at the place were his heart would be. "You won't ever have to worry about that. I've seen your friends. They're the most loyal people I know. Yes…" she smiled dreamily. "You'll grow old with them. I can see it now: Peter watching with envy while you and Sirius try and persuade that young new nurse at the nursing home while Remus, battered and worn, is sitting in a chair, reading the daily prophet and scolding you guys at the same time." She laughed softly at the thought.

James looked confused. "Er, nursing home?"

"It's a muggle place for old people when they can't function by themselves."

James laughed. "Well, I can't see us marauders in a place like that. No, we'll be young forever. Even if we do end up looking like Dumbledore."

Lily smiled. "I won't deny that."

James suddenly frowned. "But Lily…"

"Yes?"

"I... saw you with Remus. He didn't eat you."

"No."

"You… hugged him?" He pushed Lily's hair away from her shoulder.

She almost flinched at his touch. "Yeah. I still knew it was Remus, despite his appearance. I couldn't die without trying to console him. Didn't you hear him howling? It was dreadful. I cried. He sounded so… hurt."

"I dunno," James said quietly. "Er… Dumbledore explained to me about… Remus's secret."

Lily tilted her head to the side. "Secret?"

James squinted at her. "Yeah… didn't Remus tell you? That night I caught you two talking?"

Suddenly, everything hit her.

"_Lately, in the past two years… with my puberty… or well, really, hormones… I haven't been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Sometimes I don't even sleep at all."_

"Right… I remember."

James looked uncertain, remembering her torn robes. "He didn't… er, do anything to you… did he?"

Lily shook her head and felt James's breath on her as he exhaled with relief. "You wouldn't like that, would you? Your best mate all over me," she laughed.

James blushed furiously. "I think that's why he didn't, well, to be blunt, eat you. He wanted… something else than food." James knew the feeling. To be hungry for a girl.

Lily was silent, staring at James's chest. She looked up and met his eyes. "I… I just can't believe Remus… I always guessed it… but I didn't want to believe… you know? He's so… un-animal like. He's the sweetest person I know… It just sounds so unreal."

James chuckled. "Yes, well, everyone has their secrets."

Lily felt James's sudden grip on her waist. She tensed, but she tried to lighten the dreary and creepy mood. "And what's yours?"

"Why Lily," James said, feigning shock. "You already know mine," he whispered.

Lily's breath quickened, her heart ticking away.

And James kissed her.

Crushed her, really.

He was soft and light against her lips, and she sighed longingly when he pulled away.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I-I didn't mean to… I couldn't help—"

Lily interrupted him with another light kiss.

James's expression looked torn as he rested his forehead against Lily's shoulder. "About earlier," he choked. "I didn't mean to be so… ruthless. I was out of line."

Lily shook her head furiously. "It's okay… you were frustrated. And worried about your friend… and besides... I was worse than you were."

James smiled stupidly. "And you relieved that frustration… Sorry you had to feel that…" He looked quickly at Lily's shamed face. "And no. You weren't worse. I edged you on. I told you I didn't care."

"But I knew you _did_ care. And I continued… because I…" Lily bit her lip. "I wanted to hurt you, James. You made me angry."

"Did… I hurt you?"

Lily shook her head, the feel of James's lips still on hers. "I'm being silly," she looked up at him apologetically. "I don't know what to think anymore…"

James laughed hollowly. "I know the feeling."

"Well," Lily said numbly, taking a step back. "I must be off, then."

James look disappointed, his mouth turning into a small pout. "Do you really have to go?" He gestured around the room. "I'm by myself tonight… all my friends are in the hospital wing." The thought of Peter didn't go through his mind. He thought of Sirius and Remus lying in bed, trying their best to heal. He inwardly moaned. He needed another distraction, and Lily could take his mind off anything.

Lily hesitated. "I don't think that's a very good idea… as tempting as it sounds… James… you and I… we don't exactly end things well in a room by ourselves."

"Sometimes," he whispered. "I think we end things more magically than Hogwarts itself."

Lily's heart beat went quicker. "But then there's an argument afterwards…"

"Yes, because I still don't understand why you don't want to be with me."

Lily felt the old argument resurfacing. "James… we're doing it again."

"I'm sorry Lily… I can't seem to stay away from you. I know you want me to… I've tried, honest. It just doesn't seem to work. I can't… give up on you. My body won't allow it… I'm faulty towards you."

A pink tint erupted into her face. "P-Potter."

James sighed, shaking his head fast so that his hair looked even wilder. "Not the name thing again."

Lily took another step back. "We're both vulnerable right now…" she reasoned (more to herself than James.) "Tomorrow… we're going to go back to the same feelings as yesterday… and earlier today, even."

James's mouth twisted. "Are we?"

"Yes."

"And are you going to make sure of that?"

Lily's knuckled cracked. She still didn't want a relationship with James. There was no other way. "I think I have to."

James blinked. "Well there you go…"

"But if it helps you any," Lily said, walking towards the door. "I'm always in your debt."

James chuckled bitterly. "Sure you are."

Lily opened the door.

"You know, Lily," James said suddenly before she left, his feelings of anger rising in him again. "You can try your best to hide that secret of yours. You know, that one secret everyone has? But sooner or later, just like Remus, and just like myself… it's going to come out." He paused, staring deeply at her. "And when it does… I hope I'm still around to hear it."

Lily smiled at him, her green eyes shadowing a flutter of desire.

"You're pathetic, Potter."

---

**AN**: I don't know how I feel about this. Good? Or Bad? Eh-heh, I like the next chapter better:) R&R.


	12. Beating Silhouettes

**AN UPDATE: **I never got around to posting this. It's been done for a while. I'm really sorry guys. I write this note about 2 ½ months after finishing it and writing the first AN. School started and I've been super busy. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm sorry if it wasn't worth the wait.

**AN**: Hey guys, I'm backkkk! Sorry about the long wait. I went on vacation. And it was fun. Then I start school next week, so I was preparing for that. I apologize again:( Anyway, enjoy!

Oh yeah, and to DarkyDearest, I didn't even notice that Dumbledore said "you guys." Haha. It's just second nature to me, so if it's too modern, I'm sorry. I'll change it later.

And, Professor Dippet was headmaster during the time when Riddle/Voldemort went to school while Dumbledore was the Transfiguration teacher. Also, it's said that Lupin had low chances of getting into Hogwarts until Dumbledore was made headmaster. And remember when Lupin expressed his regret and guilt of "betraying" Dumbledore while he explained to Harry who the marauders were.

Well, on with the story.

J.K. Rowling is the next classic.

---

The slow November days were coming to an end and December was just around the corner. The deadening of the leaves could be seen through the air and on the ground, wavering by as the students of Hogwarts walked through the courtyard. The weather's temperature had dropped significantly, and the days soon became colder, promising snow would be coming early this year.

Remus and Sirius were still in the hospital wing after a week while James and Peter continued on with their daily lives.

Lily and James had not spoken to each other since the night of the incident.

Quills were scratching against parchment as Professor McGonagall lectured continuously about very advanced Transfiguration and its consequences. While the class obediently listened and jot down everything the professor was saying, there was someone who was doing the complete opposite: all the way in the back of the classroom sat James, with his head resting lazily against his palm and his other hand twirling his wand carelessly around with his fingers.

In the front sat Lily, scribbling away on her paper and ignoring the eerie feeling of being watched.

"Potter, _will you pay attention!_"

"Huh?" James said lazily as he stopped twirling his wand and looked up at his nose-flaring and obviously annoyed professor.

"Can't you even _pretend_ to be listening, Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagall's irritated voice said sarcastically.

"Er, sorry, Professor," James replied hollowly, feeling the whole class staring at him, except the red-head in the front row of course. James could see her hair clearly through the corner of his eye. "I just have lots of things on my mind."

Professor McGonagall sniffed. "Well, I would advise you to clear your mind and pay a bit more attention if you know what's good for you," she said coldly.

"Yes, Professor."

Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes before turning her head back towards the class and continuing to lecture.

Minutes before the bell, Professor McGonagall hushed the anxious class with an important announcement. "I'd like to remind you all that Apparation lessons begin for Sixth Years…"

James's ears perked up and he sat up straight in his seat. Apparating? _Excellent…_

"Now, normally the lessons don't begin until after the Christmas holidays, however, due to certain Ministry complications," a small grimace appeared on her face, "lessons will be done earlier this year. You lot who will be turning seventeen by next August and have enough gold to spend please sign the form I'll be passing around. You begin in two weeks."

Once the parchment arrived in front of James, he immediately scribbled his name down along with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Hopefully, Sirius and Remus would be strong enough to make their bodies appear magically onto another spot. He gave the list another quick glance and saw Lily's perfect handwriting scrawled at the top. Him, being the last to get the form, stood up and walked over towards Professor McGonagall's desk.

Professor McGonagall looked up sternly from her glasses and accepted the list. As the bell rung loudly and the students began to shuffle out of the class, Professor McGonagall motioned for James to stay still. "I noticed Mr. Lupin and your twin, Mr. Black, were absent today in class again."

James's mouth twisted and he nodded his head.

Professor McGonagall sniffed and looked slightly sympathetic. "I can see how you aren't being…" she searched for the kindest words, "your usual self, worrying about them. But Mr. Potter, if you don't shape up soon, I'll have to give you a detention. That's another missing homework assignment today…"

"Yes, Professor, it won't happen again," James replied seriously. "I'll have all of it done by next class."

Professor McGonagall eyed him strictly before nodding her head. "Good. You are dismissed."

James gave her a tight-lipped smiled and waltzed out of the classroom, deciding whether to go to lunch or visit the hospital wing like normal. Not paying much attention to anything, James was surprised to come face-to-face with startling green eyes.

"James," Lily said softly, blocking the subject's way. The bruise on her head was grotesquely purpler now than ever.

"Evans," James said stiffly. He side-stepped her and making up his mind, started towards the hospital wing.

Looking unsurprised by James's behavior, Lily called out after him. "I just wanted to know how you were doing…"

James turned around and eyed her curiously. His gentle gaze studied her appearance as his head whirled furiously for something witty to retort. Her hair looked slightly disheveled, her robes were wrinkled as if they were the same ones from the other day, and she had little bags under her eyes. Not to mention a gash across her cheek and a swelling bruise up by her temple. "You know," he said softly. "Remus and Sirius have been in the hospital wing for almost a week now, and I've seen Holly in there a couple of times, and random girls I don't even know come by… but where have you been?"

Lily looked a little uncomfortable. "I've been busy…"

"Too busy to visit your sick friends?"

Instantly, anger rose to Lily's face. "Of course not! I—"

"Didn't want to run into me?"

Lily closed her mouth. "I _have_ been visiting. I've been giving Remus all the things he's been missing… and Sirius told me not to visit him anymore if I brought _him_ any homework…"

"Really? How come I didn't see you, then? I'm in there almost as much as they are…"

Lily's angry blush didn't go away. "I guess we've just been missing each other," she said awkwardly.

James's leaned in a little closer. "See, I was under the impression we were both avoiding each other."

Lily stayed silent, confirming his assumption.

James tilted his head, his steely gaze looking mildly curious. "So why are talking to me now?"

Lily blinked a couple times. "I just wanted to see if you were alright," she said coldly.

James shot her a mock-sad face. "Aw, you caring about me now?"

Cold fury sprang up in Lily's face and not being able to contain herself, an angry irresponsible phrase flew out of her mouth. "Don't be stupid. I've always cared about you."

James's sardonic smirk instantly was whipped off his face, and Lily clamped a hand to her mouth.

"You—"

"I mean," Lily interrupted, biting her lip nervously. "I meant to say—"

And before either of the two could figure out what Lily really meant to say, a loud yelling could be heard, bouncing and echoing off the corridor walls.

"James Potter, love of my life! Look who's back!"

Immediately James felt a very heavy weight fall onto his shoulders. His knees buckled and he laughed heartily as his shaggy-haired friend squeezed him happily and recklessly.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed as Sirius pulled away, a huge grin plastered on his face. "When did you get out?"

"Just now! Madam Pomfrey couldn't keep us in there forever," Sirius replied. There was electricity in his voice. His normally groomed hair was messy and a bit longer than normal. His school shirt was open down the middle, revealing bandages under his chest, and he looked a bit pale. Despite his appearance, he looked ready to take on the world. Sirius chuckled, and when he did, he noticed Lily staring at him.

"And Remus?" James continued, oblivious to the eye-contact.

Sirius's face flickered over towards James. "Huh? Oh, yeah. He was right behind me. He's coming," he said casually. "I got a bit excited and sprinted."

James laughed again.

"That excited to see Potter?" Lily said icily with a snort.

Sirius didn't notice her tone. His face went gaunt. "Oh god, yes. I was getting _really_ bored."

"Yeah, Sirius doesn't like going a day without losing us house points," said a tired voice from behind.

"Remus!" Lily yelled, a goofy smile replacing her grimace. She pushed passed James and Sirius and flung her arms around Remus.

He was startled by the warm welcome, but accepted it sincerely all the same.

"Oh you're alright!" Lily exclaimed against his shoulder. She pulled away from him and looked into his battered face. "I've been so worried! I mean, I've come to visit, but you were always out of it. I thought maybe you weren't recovering right or—"

Remus chuckled, trying to clam her down. "I'm fine, Lily. You seem to visit me at the most inappropriate times," he laughed again. "You should come when the sun's out, no? You can't expect me to still be awake at midnight."

Lily laughed a little, but stopped when she heard what sounded like a triumphant 'hmph' from behind. As if to say 'I told you that you were avoiding me.'

"Oh yes, and I noticed the neat pile of make-up work by my nightstand. Thank you. I really appreciate it. It's helped me loads. Been doing the homework while I had nothing to do in bed. Unlike my bedside partner." He shot Sirius a pointed look. "Who instead opted to complain about being bored rather than do anything."

Sirius scoffed. He rolled his eyes and strolled over towards Lily and Remus. "Excuse me for having a life," he said snottily, his nose in the air.

Remus snorted.

"How are you, Moony?" James asked, pushing past Sirius and Lily. He grinned. "You feeling better?"

Remus returned his grin. "Loads better."

The jealousy that had erupted in him when Lily hugged Remus began to slowly fade away. "You _look_ loads better," he chuckled, shaking his wild black hair. "You look good, mate."

This was indeed, true, as the normally sleep-deprived looking Remus now looked well-rested and recovered. His hair still looked a tad bit battered, covering very little of the bandage that was wrapped around his forehead. One of his arms was in a cast, for its fall wasn't caused by that of regular broken bones but by a magical cause. His face still had the same faint scars from before, and his eyes were still hazy. Other than that, Remus looked much better than he had in ages.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius said loudly, waving his hand impatiently and breaking the eye-contact between James and Remus. "Moony looks good, but I look even better," he flipped his hair, "now that we got that over with, can we stop dawdling in the middle of the corridor and go to the Great Hall? I'm starving!"

---

As Remus looked around him, surrounded by excessive chattering and the aroma of food, he couldn't help but smile at his life. Despite his condition, nothing terrible wrong had happened, and for that, he was thankful. He sat comfortably next to Sirius, who was stuffing his mouth without end. Across from him were James and an excited Peter, who were both talking loudly about what Remus and Sirius had missed. He frowned when he looked over at the lonely looking Lily, sitting a few seats away from him.

"Oh!" James said suddenly, grabbing Remus's attention. "And I forgot to mention, I've signed our names up for Apparation Lessons!"

Sirius gasped. "_Excellent,_" he said excitedly.

Remus looked mildly surprised. "Those aren't supposed to happen until after the holidays."

"Yeah, I know," James replied. "But there's something up with the Ministry… they're doing it early this year…"

"Probably got something to do with you-know-who!" Peter squeaked fearfully in his seat.

"Probably," Sirius replied darkly, shooting a glance at the Slytherin table. A young boy with the same raven-black hair and steely gray eyes as Sirius met his stare. "But we can't worry about that," he said brightly, looking away back at James. "So when do we start?"

"In two weeks, according to McGonagall."

Sirius grinned. "Two weeks? Brilliant! Can't wait! Bet you we master it during our first lesson."

"I'd have to agree with you," James replied with the same grin.

Remus rolled his eyes. "It takes about twelve weeks to 'master' Apparating completely."

Sirius waved his hand. "Twelve weeks are twelve minutes for us," he stated arrogantly. He leaned in across the table, towards James and said quietly, "Just think! We get to Apparate during Christmas break!"

James laughed. "No, _you_ get to Apparate during Christmas. Moony, Wormtail and I don't become seventeen until next year."

Sirius frowned. "Oh yeah… Well, still! Apparating! Maybe they'll let you get your license early when they see how quickly you learn it…"

James's cocky smile emerged again. "Yeah… maybe. You know," he said thoughtfully, "I can't say I won't impress them…"

Remus looked irritated by their attitudes. "I hope you two get splinched on your first try."

Sirius let out a mock gasp. "Remus, deary! Don't go saying things like that! You might give us bad luck!"

James laughed again, his thoughts drifting towards the holidays. Maybe this time, he'd invite Lily to go with him…?

"So are we going to your place this Christmas?" Sirius asked casually to James.

"Hm? Oh, yeah," James said, blushing a bit. "Last year staying at Hogwarts was fun, but I think this time we need to get away."

"Here, here," Sirius replied, bringing his goblet up.

James complied as Remus rolled his eyes. Peter, however, squeaked.

All three pairs of eyes turned to stare at the mousy-haired boy.

"I-I can't make it this year," Peter mumbled. "My mum wants me home. Afraid about you-know-who and all…"

"What?" James exclaimed. "But Peter! We've planned this! You have to come!"

Sirius looked like he didn't really care.

"I-I know," Peter replied. "But you know how my m-mother is, Prongs."

James argued a bit, but received the same pathetic excuses.

"Fine," James sighed. He looked at Remus. "It's okay if you go, isn't it? I mean," he shot Sirius a devilish smile. "We could Apparate to Hogsmeade on the Full moon!"

Remus chuckled at James. "One," he said, pointing a finger up. "I think I'd be too weak to Apparate anywhere, James. And two," another finger, "Not all of us are of age, and we won't have passed the test by break."

Sirius tilted his head. "You're forgetting, Moony. I've already said that James and I will master it our first lesson! That's two weeks from now. James will charm the Ministry for an early license, and I'm already seventeen! And you can take the test at anytime when you're of age. You know that."

Remus shook his head and muttered something about splinch. "If you say so, Padfoot." He looked at James. "But good news, I _can_ come over. I just have to leave before the full moon."

"Right," James replied. "We'll come with you, of course."

Remus grinned, his feeling of happiness and gratitude overcoming the nagging feeling of guilt. "Thank you."

At the same moment as Remus expressed his thanks, he reached over the table for pudding while on his other side Sirius had just opened his mouth to bite into a large loaf of bread. Before it went into his mouth, a slender figure with very long, beautiful brown hair walked by, her pale robes swishing behind her.

"Hey Sirius," Holly said with a flirty tone as she passed by. Their eyes locked.

Sirius growled viciously and took a huge bite into his bread, tearing it apart.

Holly laughed with amusement and continued walking. She stopped when she came to Lily and sat down.

James laughed at Sirius, who was still staring at Holly.

Remus rolled his eyes, feeling his oblivious blush going away. "What was _that?_"

Sirius swallowed his food and looked nonchalantly at Remus. "She likes it," he explained. He bit into his bread again, this time, normally.

"What?" Remus asked, staring at Sirius. "She _likes it?_ But… Holly does?"

"That's what I said. Do pay attention, Moony."

Remus still looked a bit bewildered. "So you're saying… she likes it when you act like… er, _a prat?_"

"_An animal,_" James interjected. He grinned at Sirius, who seemed unfathomed by the whole situation; brazen, even.

Remus tilted his head. "B-But—"

"Stop stuttering, you're beginning to sound like Wormtail," Sirius interrupted.

Peter squeaked. "Hey!" he said indignantly.

Six eyes stared at him.

"But you _do_ treat her like a lady, right Sirius?"

Sirius hid a grin. "Of course, Moony. I give no girl less…"

"Then, er, how did this whole… 'animal' thing happened?"

Sirius didn't miss the sarcasm. "It's simple really. Remember last year? When we had just finished our Transformation, I was having a few problems? I was taking on the characteristics and bit harder than normal? Smelling unusual things, growling at people when I got angry? Anyway, she came on to me while I was in one of my… er… Padfoot fits."

Remus looked almost disgusted. "Poor girl," he muttered.

"How long has it been, Padfoot?" James asked.

"Dunno," Sirius replied. He looked a little surprised. "A while actually."

"New record," Remus sardonically added.

Sirius glanced over towards her. "But look at her!" he exclaimed. "Look how long her hair has gotten! It was never that long last time I was with her… she looks _really_ good."

Remus and James followed his stare.

Instantly, Remus blushed at the ravishing girl while James looked to the subject's side.

"Yeah, she _does_ look really good," James muttered, staring at the red-head.

"Are you going to see her anytime soon?" Remus asked Sirius in a would-be casual voice. It sounded a bit strained… and envious.

Sirius chuckled. "Oh God I hope so. She's my favorite," he winked at Remus.

"Yeah," Remus gulped, looking at his food.

Remus's attitude didn't escape Sirius.

"Why, you've taken a liking to her?"

"What?" Remus exclaimed indignantly. "Of course not… she's yours."

Sirius gave him a sideway smile. "Yes… I suppose so. I mean, I won't share her, if that's what you're asking."

Remus glared. "I didn't say anything about—about _sharing anyone._"

Sirius barked a laugh. "You hear that?" he asked, looking at Peter and James. "Moony fancies Holly!"

Peter, still munching away on his food and listening intently to his friends, remained silent while James continued to stare in the direction of Holly.

"I do not," Remus replied moodily.

Sirius ignored his replies. "Listen," he said with a smile on his lips and a wild amused glint in his eyes. "I know you need a girl, and I'll help you find one—"

Remus scoffed.

"—just not Holly, okay? Keep your claws off her."

Remus opened his mouth to reply, but Sirius nudged him, pointing at James.

James's furtive glance towards Lily didn't go unnoticed by his friends.

"You still staring at her?" Sirius sighed. "Remember what we talked about before? The firewhisky?" He pointed his piece of bread at James. "I say forget it, mate. You guys are just confusing each other and going in circles. It's time you give up."

James tried to look innocent, as if he didn't know what he was talking about. But from the looks he got, he dropped his face and sighed dejectedly. "I know." He looked up helplessly. "And I've tried!" He looked at Remus. "You remember, don't you? I really did try! And I was doing well until—" He broke off, his eyes going distant.

"_Until?_" Sirius urged on, washing down his bread with pumpkin juice. He picked up another piece.

"Until she pissed me off, that is…" he let out a queer chuckle. "I really thought I had gotten to her…"

Both Sirius's and Remus's face screwed up in confusion.

Peter asked the question. "What do you mean, 'gotten to her?'"

"I thought maybe… perhaps… well," he thought hard. How was he going to explain what happened? "I let my hopes up. I expected too much…"

Remus looked sympathetic. "James, you just… you have to do something to… get her attention."

James gave him a pointed glare.

"And nothing stupid," Remus added hastily. "You have to… prove to her… I mean," he looked around feebly. He was very near spilling Lily's secret.

Sirius looked at his friend wildly. "Are you okay, Moony? What are you spewing on about?"

James nodded his head.

"I mean to say…"

"Do you know something that I don't?" James asked suspiciously. "Because if you did, you should tell me. We're best mates, aren't we?"

Remus looked uneasy. "Er, yes, but…"

"Then?"

Remus sighed, looking tiredly at Sirius's and James's accusing expression.

Peter was darting his eyes at all three of the boys, his spoon inches away from his mouth.

"I promised not to say anything," Remus finally said.

James looked at him incredulously. "So you _do_ know something! You've known for some time, haven't you?"

"Well, not really—"

"Well at least in the time that you've seen me frustrated and angry with her?" James interrupted coolly.

Remus was silent.

"You knew what I've been doing wrong?" James asked coldly. "And you couldn't help me when I asked?"

This annoyed Remus. "This is what I get for helping," he muttered under his breath. He looked determinedly at James. "Now listen here, Prongs. I haven't known for _that_ long. And as I've said, I made a promise!"

"But I'm your best mate!" James exploded.

The hall got quiet, and naturally, Sirius started yelling at everyone to mind their own business. When the chatter rose again, he continued to nibble on his bread, watching the argument between werewolf and stag. He was on James's side, of course.

"Yes, you are," Remus whispered exasperatedly. "But she's a good friend of mine, too. If Lily asked _you_ to keep a secret from us, specifically me, you would, wouldn't you?"

Sirius shot James a look as if to say, 'he's got a point, mate.'

James's hazel eyes cooled even more. "Of course not. I'd tell you in a heartbeat." He didn't sound as intimidating as he would have if he were telling the truth.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "You're lying, and you know it."

James sneered at him. "Fine. Then if something is ever brought to my attention, you know who won't be hearing about it."

Sirius let out an impatient groan. "Will you guys stop? You're both being stupid."

Remus and James glared at him.

"Listen," Sirius said, staring at James. "Remus just got back from the hospital wing, just like me," he puffed out his chest. "It's supposed to be a happy moment. We were having one earlier! Remember, Apparating! Can't you just accept that and be angry at each other some other time?"

Both boys looked down, and nodded their heads slowly.

"Good," Sirius said happily, resuming to eating his food. "Oh Merlin," he muttered as he noticed James's grimace and absent-minded fork movement. He turned to Remus. "Moony, give James something about Evans, will you?"

James looked at Remus a little hopefully, but Remus looked slightly appalled.

"Don't tell Prongs her secret," Sirius added hastily, "but at least give him some advice. It'd do us all a favor and keep his complaining trap shut."

"Hey," James said huffily. "You asked me about it! It's not like I'm saying 'hey mates, guess what? I'm in a fight with Lily again.'"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "We asked because of your loud and obnoxious sighs and open glares at the girl. It's like you want to be noticed you're in a bad mood!"

James inhaled. "_You_ are starting to put me in a bad mood," he snarled.

Sirius's mouth twisted into a smile. "Yeah, right. You've been in a bad mood since school started."

James opened his mouth, but Sirius interrupted him by turning back to Remus. "So, Moony, you were saying James should do something to catch Lily's attention? What do you have in mind?"

James closed his mouth, and with a shooting glare to Sirius, he looked at Remus.

Lupin looked thoughtful, his unbroken arm reaching for an apple. "Oh right, like I was saying," he looked at James cautiously. "You might want to do a gesture to prove… Well, that is to say… Er," he looked frustrated. "It's hard to explain."

"Well try," James promptly said, looking eagerly at Remus as if he held all the answers to life's questions.

Remus bit into his apple. "Well, put it this way. She never said I couldn't tell you what her secret _wasn't._"

"Huh?" Both James and Sirius said at once. Peter was still stuck on what Remus was trying to say.

"She told me you accused her of not wanting to be with you because she has a fear of abandonment?"

James's face glowed, and Sirius laughed.

"You told her that? Bad move, Prongs!" Sirius barked, looking at his friend gleefully.

"I was angry. She made me mad," James snapped. He looked back at Remus. "So I was wrong?"

Remus nodded his head. "A bit, yes. I mean, everyone has a fear of abandonment. You wouldn't like it if Sirius, Peter, and I stopped being your friends now would you?"

"Of course not, but she has it a little worse than your average person… I mean, look at her!"

All four boys looked at her, sitting miserably by herself and playing with her food. Holly had apparently gone off somewhere.

"She's by herself," he said. It was at that moment he had the biggest desire to sit by her. A pained expression crossed his features. "And remember! She used to be friends with Snivellus! And how he treated her last year," the memory still angered him. "Looks like she was abandoned by him too!"

Remus looked doubtful, but didn't say anything. Sirius, on the other hand, was nodding his head, still staring at Lily.

"But James," the werewolf interrupted. "That's not why she doesn't want to be with you."

"Then?"

"Why don't you just go over there and ask her?"

James's eye twitched. "_You think I haven't tired?_"

Remus shook his head. "Okay, fine. Well," he thought hard. "She fears… the one thing you don't seem to care about."

"And what's that?"

"That's easy," Sirius interrupted. "Rejection. But that's only because he's never really been rejected… except by Evans, of course."

James rolled his eyes, looking at Sirius doubtfully. "It can't be rejection, Padfoot. I do anything but reject her!"

He didn't notice Remus shake his head.

"Acception—

"Is that even a word?" Sirius asked obnoxiously.

"—is more like it," James continued. "You know now that if she came over here and asked me to ravish her, I'd do it in an instant. She probably fears accepting," he muttered. "Seeing how she doesn't really accept anything from me." He turned to Moony. "But it's not that, is it?"

Remus exhaled, as if talking to an impatient child. "James, you said yourself… you thought you had gotten to her, right?"

"Yes…"

"But you said it was just a hoax, that you had let your hopes high and that you expected too much of her, right?"

"What's your point, Moony?"

"My point is just that, Prongs," Remus said tiredly. "You expected too much of her, and how did you feel when she didn't reach those expectations?"

James still looked confused. "I felt… terrible. Well, angry, really. I mean, you see me now, don't you? That's from the results of being let down!" He stole a glance at the red-head.

"And that's all I can tell you," Remus said with a finality in his voice.

"What?" James exclaimed. "That's it? That hasn't help me any!"

"Quite right, Moony," Sirius joined in. "Sounds like you're talking in code."

James nodded his head in agreement.

Peter, however, sat quietly, thinking hard. "A-Are you saying, Moony…" he said quietly, grabbing all three's attention. "That Lily doesn't want to be with James because she's the, er, _object_ of his affections?"

Remus's mouth opened, but he quickly hid his surprise with a warm smile. "Very good, Wormtail. See that?" He looked at the confused Sirius and James. "Wormtail's got it!"

Peter looked very happy, beaming, and almost squealing in his seat.

Sirius scratched his head. "I still don't see…"

"Me neither." James tilted his head at Peter. "So you're saying I see Lily as an _object?_" He snorted. "That's absurd! That can't be why she doesn't want to be with me! Because she thinks I see her as an object… " He looked at Remus. "Right?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Of course not. Think about it James. You say you've loved her from the beginning?"

James nodded his head.

"And where exactly was the beginning?"

"Ages ago… September first, six years back."

If Sirius were born into a time where people used words like 'loser,' he would have used it now. Instead, he snorted.

James's raised an eyebrow. "I know because it was the first day of Hogwarts. No one forgets that."

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, sure. And if it were any other day, I bet you'd still know the date."

James glowered and looked back at Remus. "What about the beginning?"

Remus sighed. "Did you know her, then, on the first day of school?"

"No… not really. Just that she had really pretty hair… and nice eyes… and… er," James turned red. "And when I talked to her, she snapped at me. I dunno… I guess I liked it…" He grinned sheepishly.

"So you've 'loved' her for that long?" Remus asked.

"From the very beginning," James confirmed, still confused.

"But you didn't even know her."

James blinked. "Well… I suppose I didn't _love_ love her… I liked her… a lot. I mean, I know I felt a loving emotion towards her..."

Remus leaned forward, staring carefully at the jet-black haired boy in front of him. "And how did you love her, James?" he whispered.

James looked slightly flustered by Remus's stare. His bemuse expression was mirrored by Sirius, who too had just leaned in.

"The best way I could," James replied earnestly. "Lovingly, affectionately…"

Sirius grunted. "More like secretly… no, no, scratch that. Boisterously!"

Remus ignored Sirius, still looking at the stag. "No James," he said quietly. "From afar. You've loved Lily from afar. From a distance, because she was never yours to love."

James's laughed a little, as if Remus were joking. "Well of course Moony. Everyone likes or loves someone from a distance. It's how relationships happen normally. You see someone, like them instantly," he coughed, "_from afar,_" he heard Sirius snicker, "and then that's when you walk over towards that person and introduce yourself."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "But you've been doing it for six years, James."

James stopped sniggering. "Okay, so what are you trying to say? I've loved Lily from a distance for six years, that's why she doesn't want to be with me?"

"Yes. Exactly."

James and Sirius exchanged glances. "I still don't follow…"

Remus let out a frustrated noise and huffed. "Both of you always go on and on about how clever you are, but you can't even understand a simple sentence that quite plainly tells you everything!" He looked sternly at James. "Y_ou've loved Lily from a distance for six years._ That's six years to live up to!"

James blinked.

"Before you were ever with her, all you could do was fantasize about her! That's all you had: a fantasy. You built her up! And it seems that every year you come back to Hogwarts, Lily is even more perfect than before."

"I- Well—"

"Have you ever let someone down, James?" Remus asked tiredly. "Makes you feel awful, doesn't it? And then being the one who _is_ let down? Feels even worse, doesn't it? You said yourself, you feel terrible. No one likes disappointment, James. And then there's the 'what if.' What if Lily," he pointed at her, "isn't the Lily you imagined? The one you see only from afar? When you get into relationships, James, you learn everything about your other. What if you're let down?"

James gulped.

"That's six years wasted."

James looked at Sirius, who had gone completely silent, then back at Remus. "And she wouldn't want responsibility for that…"

Remus's mouth twisted. "Well, that, too. And…?"

"And…" James looked at Sirius again. "You were right, Padfoot. She fears rejection."

Remus smiled exhaustedly, as if he just finished a challenging test. "You said it. Not me."

James looked back at Lily, who was now getting up and walking slowly towards the entrance. He stared as she walked out, and didn't blink when she shut the doors close.

---

Lily sat quietly on a bench in the courtyard, her knees touching each other and her hair flying lightly against the chilly breeze. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and let out a loud shudder. Before she could make up her mind to go back inside the castle or not, she felt a heavy warm weight fall upon her shoulders.

"You looked a bit cold," a drawling voice came from the side.

"Hello, Severus," Lily said, staring at her shoes and pulling the cloak closer to her. She felt Snape's figure place itself next to her.

The two sat silently together, their silhouettes beating against the dark afternoon.

Lily frowned as she contemplated whether to bite Snape's head off or be nice. She was feeling lonely lately, after all.

She decided to be cordial.

"Is there something you want, Severus?"

Snape turned his head towards Lily and raised a dark eyebrow. "Do I need a reason to sit next to you, now?"

Lily didn't say anything, still staring at her shoes. "No… I guess not. You're a bit bold, coming her, sitting next to me… after knowing how I feel about you."

Snape's mouth curled. "Seeing how you're not screaming at me and walking away, I think my adventurous endeavor was an accomplishment."

Lily smiled and looked at Snape. She didn't notice him flinch a little. "Really, Severus, why are you here?"

Snape gulped after seeing Lily's translucent eyes, consuming him completely. "I-I thought you'd want some company… you seem sad these days."

Lily tilted her head. "You've been watching me?"

Snape hid his blushing cheeks under his blank features. "Not really… I've just noticed."

Lily looked away and leaned over her knees, gazing towards the ground. "Right…"

James Potter looked from afar, watching the interaction between the Gryffindor and the Slytherin from behind one of Hogwarts' greatest pillars. He couldn't make out what was being said, but his mind was pounding with the combination of rage and envy.

"So, are you?" Snape asked a little too casually.

Lily blinked a couple times before replying. "Am I what?"

Snape stared, his black daunting eyes never looking away at the contrasting red hair. "Sad."

Lily's smile had a lazy, ironic flair to it. "No…"

Snape leaned in more towards Lily, so that his hooked nose was inches away from hear ear. His long, dark hair fluttered against the calm wind. "I've noticed you've been hanging out with that Potter boy more than usual lately…"

Lily stiffened. "What of it," she said with her voicing coming out cold.

Snape's voice was even cooler. "I thought you hated him."

Lily licked her dry lips and closed her eyes.

"I thought so, too."

**AN**: R&R? You'll love next chapter. It's one of my "funny" ones, assuming you think I'm funny:)


	13. You Missed Your Chance

**AN**: The more reviews I get, the more I'm inspired to update… and write:) I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! And after all, I write this story for you.

Um, I probably lied. I rewrote this whole chapter, and took out most of the humor. It was much longer, but the story didn't really fit in with the other chapters. So here it is, short and hopefully sweet.

Next chapter will be MUCH longer. I promise:)

**Note**: Some lines taken directly from the sixth Harry Potter book for Apparation references. Not mine.

J.K. Rowling devours.

---

"_I will consume you."_

---

_James brushed a red lock of hair out of Lily's face and kissed her temple, continuing downward. He was on top of her, his chest pressed against hers underneath the sheets of his bed._

"_J-James," Lily whispered hoarsely as she felt James's touch attempt to soothe her conscious mind._

"_Hm?" James asked between kisses._

_Lily's breathing was ragged. "I-I've never…"_

_James felt heat surface from under his lips and he broke into a grin against her cheek. "Yes, princess?"_

_Lily swallowed hard. She ran one hand through his bangs while her other massaged his neck. "I've never done this before," she whispered._

_Now that she had actually said it, James stopped grinning and stopped kissing. He focused his face to look at Lily. "So then… I'm…"_

_Lily inhaled, taking in the scent of a spring rain. "Yes."_

_A smile was tugging at James's lips. "Really?" _

_Lily shifted under James's weight. "Well yes… so…"_

_James put a finger to Lily's lip and leaned forward so that his forehead rested neatly into her neck. He stayed there for a couple of seconds, breathing in and out, noticing the quick racing of Lily's heart. "We don't… I mean… I'd love to… but… especially with you... however, if you don't…"_

_Lily tensed up. "No, I do."_

_James moved away from her neck and looked down at her, his hazel eyes screaming with joy. "Do you really?"_

_Lily bit her lip and nodded, her red hair bouncing with the pillow._

_The attraction between the two teenagers was building as each silent second went by, as space was filled with skin and lips, and when James smelt that familiar smell of strawberries._

_James shifted smoothly as Lily grasped at his shoulder blade. She felt James grope at her hips. He leaned in towards her ear and whispered in a deep voice, "Your first ever?"_

_Lily could hear the laughing joke in his tone, and with a shaky breath, she scoffed, her elegant hand playing with his collarbone. "Did you really think I was the promiscuous type?"_

_James stared intently at her, admiring her more than before. "No," he whispered. "You're exactly as I thought you'd be." He bent down to kiss her again._

"_Oh really?" Lily replied quietly, looking beyond him towards the top poster. "And how's that?"_

"_Perfect."_

---

"Gather round, students, gather round," a bored voice drawled out.

A glum looking James dragged his feet towards the center of the Great Hall, his brilliantly black hair looking quite dull in the skylight. He didn't even flinch when he felt the combination of two bodies hit him hard across the shoulders.

"Sorry Prongs," Remus said hastily as he brushed away at his clothes. "Sirius is being inconsiderate again."

James gave him a muted stare and turned his attention towards a small wizard who looked oddly colorless.

Remus saw a resemblance between his grayish-hazel eyed friend and the waspish man. "Er, James? Are you alright?"

Before James could answer, an insufferable noise was heard behind the two boys.

Sirius had a spring in his step and a sparkle in his eye as he leaned in towards his friends. "Exciting, isn't it?" he whispered. "We're finally—!"

"_We know,_" Remus interrupted through gritted teeth, forgetting about his concern for James. He was having trouble as it was trying to quiet the puppy down. "'Going to learn how to Apparate.' Calm down, will you? It's all you've been talking about for the last two weeks."

Sirius narrowed his eyes and flipped his long black hair. "No it's not," he said in his coolest voice.

"Oh forget it," Remus snapped. He pointed towards the man. "He's starting the lecture."

Sirius almost squealed.

"—name is Wilkie Twycross. You all probably know that Apparating or Disapparating is quite impossible to do within Hogwarts," the Ministry wizard was saying. "However, since you are learning to Apparate, the headmaster has agreed to lift the enchantment _only_ in the Great Hall for an hour."

Sirius lifted an arrogant eyebrow and leaned onto James's shoulder. "'Only an hour?' _An hour?_ That's all the practice we get?"

Remus hid a smirk. "I thought you said all you needed was twelve minutes," he said innocently.

Sirius was quick to reply. "Silly boy, I just wanted more time to help _you_ keep up with us."

"BLACK!" yelled Professor McGonagall from across the hall. "_Be quiet!_" She was up at the front with the Ministry official along with Professors Slughorn and Flitwick.

"Also, may I remind you," Twycross went on, looking stern towards the students, "that you will not be able to Apparate outside the walls of this Hall. I warn you that you shouldn't dare try elsewhere."

Sirius opened his mouth to whisper something witty, but he felt Professor McGonagall's glare strike him hard.

"Now," said Twycross, "I would like each of you to place yourselves apart from each other, so that you have a clear five feet of space in front of you."

Immediately the students started making space, walking and pushing into each other.

James didn't move, as his mind was on a dark, lurking figure that was darting towards the corner with long greasy hair.

_Snivellus_.

James's lip curled.

"You alright Prongs?" Sirius asked, pushing his friend forward.

James obliged, but he didn't look away.

Sirius followed his eyes. "What're you staring at Snivellus for? Don't tell me you're harboring lovey feelings for him too?"

James frowned. "Nothing… just, he's being…. sneakier than usual."

Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Well, I'd expect so, after that brilliant prank we did last year."

He grinned childishly. "Remember that? What an excellent night…"

"Maybe for you…" James muttered darkly.

"Sirius," Remus sternly called from behind. "Won't you get in place?"

The result came out to making a square. Sirius and Peter were in the front while James and Remus were in the back.

Sirius kept looking back at James with a grin on his face while Peter looked around the Hall nervously, whimpering every second or so.

Remus looked abnormally tamed.

"Oh you should quit worrying about him," Sirius whispered behind him, glancing at his best friend. James was still gawking at Snape. "That's just how he is. Strange people are like that, after all. Especially a git like him. Besides, think about what we're doing at the moment!"

"Hm?" James said. His gaze had shifted from the greasy-haired boy to a glossy-haired girl.

Lily was clear across the Hall, the furthest she could be away from James, and he couldn't stop staring; not since the night he realized what was going on between them.

"Apparating!" Sirius pressed on, oblivious to James's absentmindedness. "And look at Moony," he continued, shooting a careless glance at the quite unimpressed werewolf; Sirius snorted. "He's only acting calm and cool."

"That's because I am," Remus interjected smoothly. His statement was true, for Lupin was more curious that he was excited.

"Yeah, sure, and I'm a loony old—"

"MISTER BLACK, IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO BE QUIET ON MORE TIME—" Professor McGonagall was now shooting daggers at Sirius, her nose flaring and her hands on her hips.

The whole Hall was staring at him while Twycross patiently waited for his attention.

"Sorry Professor," Sirius replied, lips tight. He shot Remus an accusing glare.

The whole Hall turned their attention back to Twycross, who had just waved his wand. Old-fashioned wooden hoops instantly appeared on the floor in front of every student.

"Before we begin practicing, we must all learn the steps. These steps are called the three D's!" said Twycross. "Destination, Determination, Deliberation!"

Sirius stared at the frail looking man with a small look of disbelief. He bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. He heard James snort behind him.

"Step one: concentrate hard right on the desired _destination,_" Twycross said. "At this moment, that would be the inside of your hoop. Please take a moment to concentrate now."

James and Sirius stared blankly at their hoop while Peter and Remus had frowns on their faces.

Peter looked as if he was constipated.

"Step two," said Twycross, "have some _determination_ to be in the hoop! Let your determined desire to be in the space flood from your mind to every particle of your body!"

Sirius stared determinedly at his hoop for a couple of seconds then turned to his right. He felt his throat vibrate as he swallowed a stifled laugh. He then let out a low whisper. "Hey Prongs," Sirius said in a jeering voice, "lookie at what we've got here… Peter is making his _sex face._"

James's concentration broke into annoyance as he sensed a tidal wave of chuckles go through him, waking him from his gloomy slumber as he watched Peter's screwed up face glare at a wooden hoop.

Lily and all the Professors glanced at James, who was clutching his stomach and struggling on his feet.

James caught Lily's eye and he stopped laughing, looking down at his own loop. He coughed, hiding a blush behind his hair.

Sirius gulped his smile and looked around the Hall.

"And lastly, step three," Twycross called out to the students. "Only do this when I give the command… Turn on the spot, feeling your way to complete nothingness, moving with _deliberation_! On my command, now… one—"

Peter squeaked loudly.

---

"_He's not very bright, is he?"_

"_Hm, no, I suppose not."_

"_Poor child, his mother must be ashamed."_

"_I'd expect so."_

"_Has he any friends?"_

"_I haven't seen any with him. I always see him by himself."_

"_How did he ever end up in Gryffindor?"_

"_The other houses probably didn't want him."_

"_Not very bright, is he…"_

_---_

_Peter was crouching down, pushing rocks into the gravel with a stick._

"_What are you doing?"_

_Peter looked up in surprise to see a young boy with shaggy black hair and cool gray eyes. "N-nothing… just playing."_

_The shaggy-haired boy snorted. "With rocks?" he asked arrogantly._

_Peter frowned nervously. "I-I don't have any toys or anything…"_

_The shaggy-haired boy forced the stick out of Peter's chubby hands and threw it away, kicking at the rocks as he did. He grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "I'm Sirius Black," he said snottily. "I think _you_ need some friends."_

_Peter blinked furiously, his yellow hair contrasting wildly against the pale boy. "B-but I've heard about your sort! If you're a Black… I-I can't be friends with a Black!"_

_Sirius's cool eyes narrowed, and he titled his head. "You idiot. Haven't you noticed yet that we share the same room?"_

"_I-I—"_

_Sirius exhaled impatiently. "Look, you got someone better to play with?"_

_Peter looked down at his pile of dirty rocks._

_Sirius smirked, motioning behind him for another black-haired boy with glasses to come forward. "C'mon," he said to the chubby blond child. "Let's go blow stuff up."_

---

Remus looked alarmed at being asked to Apparate so quickly.

---

_All four young boys cheered in their dormitory, clinking their Butterbeers together as they did. They were all sitting Indian-style on the floor, sharing cakes and drinks in the middle._

_Sirius pushed Remus's shoulder, splotching his beverage all over the werewolf's robes. "It's wicked cool!" he exclaimed, laughing with the smiling Remus. "You! A werewolf!"_

_James whistled. "I wish I was a werewolf!"_

_Remus laughed. "No, you don't. It's nothing great, really."_

_James snorted. "How amazing would it be to turn into an animal?"_

_Sirius's eyes lit up and he practically pounced onto James. "James. That's it! You're brilliant!"_

_Peter looked confused, sipping his drink. "Why's he brilliant?"_

_Sirius turned to Peter, a huge smile on his childish face. "We could just ask Professor McGonagall! I reckon she'd tell us how!"_

_Remus frowned. "Isn't it a bit more complicated than that?"_

_James laughed, loving Sirius's idea. "Who cares? If McGonagall can turn into a cat, we can do it too."_

"_To Lupin," Sirius said, thrusting his butterbeer into the middle._

_James grinned, mimicking Sirius. "To Lupin," he echoed._

_Peter smiled and followed his friends. "To Lupin."_

_All three heads looked over at Remus, the shy looking boy. His sandy hair looked battered and awkward against his youthful, bright face. He shakily lifted his drink up and smiled sheepishly. "To Lupin," he whispered._

---

Sirius looked nonchalantly at his hoop, standing as if ready to battle.

---

_Sirius Black, young and handsome, banged on the abnormally white door. "Hello?! Anyone there?! Please open up!"_

_James opened the door and looked surprise to see his best friend almost whack him in the face. "Padfoot. What are you doing here?"_

_Sirius barged in and pushed against him, two black bags in his hand. "Couldn't stay at that place anymore. I've had enough of it." He looked around the polished house. "Where are your parents?"_

_James held a bemused but concerned expression and quickly closed the front door. "They're out. What happened?"_

_Sirius sighed and threw his bags to the ground. "What do you think? The normal stuff." Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Regulus came back even more insufferable than before."_

_James made a noise and went to pick up Sirius's messy bags. "So then…"_

_Sirius looked at his best friend with his most somber face and inhaled. "Is it alright with you if I could stay here? Until…"_

_James nodded his head immediately. "Of course. Did you even have to ask?"_

_Sirius looked relieved. "Well, you won't have to worry about me. My uncle gave me some gold…I just need somewhere to stay… you sure your parents won't mind?"_

_James grinned childishly, plans forming in his head. "Of course not. They'll love the company."_

_Sirius chuckled, but changed his expression quickly. "James, I appreciate everything. I really do."_

_James smirked, throwing Sirius's bags over his shoulder and heading upstairs towards his room. "Don't turn into a girl on me, now."_

_Sirius rolled his eyes. "Right. You've got Lily to worry about."_

_He yelled in pain as he felt a gigantic black bag hit him square in the gut._

---

James glanced around the room, catching a glimpse of red hair.

"—two—"

---

_James stepped right into Lily's personal space._

"_P-Potter," she sputtered, knocking into his chest and her books falling everywhere._

"_Hi," he said shyly. He stopped her hands from reaching down. "I need to talk to you."_

_Red burned in Lily's cheeks as she felt angry at the fact she wasn't getting angry at James. "Uh, you do?"_

_James's hands never left hers. "Er, yes."_

_Lily lifted an eyebrow. "Okay… about what?"_

"_Are you… with Snivellus?"_

_Lily's eyes narrowed. "It's _Severus_. And no, I'm not. That's really stupid, Potter. Especially coming from you."_

_James gave her a sloppy smile, hiding his held breath. "I assumed that, but I saw you with him the other day… sitting next to each other."_

_Lily swallowed and pulled her hands out of his. "You're always watching me…"_

"_You should always expect that."_

_Lily looked uncertain. "And you're always getting jealous..."_

_James grinned. "You should always expect that."_

_Lily pursed her lips, looking at James curiously. "Why are you being nice to me?"_

_James dropped his smile and sighed. "Why are you always asking that question?"_

"_You're normally angry with me."_

_James covered a wink. "Caught on, have you?"_

_Lily inhaled. "Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" she snapped, trying hard to keep her cool._

_James grinned radiantly. "Yes, Princess. That is all. I'm sorry to have bothered you."_

_Lily's eyebrows furrowed, but she decided to ignore the name. "Good." She started to bend down again for her books, but James stopped her._

"_Wait, I lied."_

_She looked up. _

"_I wanted to talk to you about that and…" James's smile grew bigger. "Yes, I was a bit angry. You were trying really hard to avoid me. I can't say I liked it."_

"_You were avoiding me too."_

"_Well, yeah," James said almost incredulously. He laughed. "You had just told me to forget about you after kissing me!"_

_Lily nearly stomped her foot. "Why are you so cheery?"_

_James looked nonchalantly at his nails. "Am I?"_

_Lily's nose flared. "Yes," she said icily._

_James grinned and leaned forward with his flirty shadows surfacing more now than ever. "That's because I know your secret."_

_Lily blinked a couple times, fear flooding her eyes. "Excuse me?"_

_James leaned in a little more, so that his lips were grazing hers. "See, yesterday, I had this magnificent urge to kiss you. And I swear to Merlin I was going to do it. No one was going to stop me—"_

"_I bet."_

"—_but then I realized… I can't just kiss you. You're not mine to kiss. Only boyfriends do that to their girlfriends. And we're certainly not seeing each other."_

_Lily stood up to her full height, ignoring her beating heart. "No, we're not."_

_James's grin went away. "Right. So I can't kiss you."_

"_What's your point?"_

"_I wanted to."_

---

James thought determinedly of being inside his hoop; of wanting to be inside his hoop. After all, destination was important. He squeezed his eyes shut with his palms sweating. _Go inside the hoop,_ he thought quickly in his head. _Go inside the hoop,_ he repeated as he heard the last word.

"—THREE!"

Every student spun on spot, but only two cracks were heard in the Great Hall (big surprise to who those two people were.)

The feeling of tightness in his navel was withering away as James felt his feet hit the ground. He opened his eyes. He was completely and utterly shocked to encounter a flawless face with a startling green shooting out at him.

"I-I, uh, er, L-Lily?" James sputtered, his voice cracking. He was so close to her that he could hardly breathe, inhaling the soft aroma of strawberries as her body grazed his, her hair and her lips in his face. He was practically on top of her, being consumed by Lily's elegant and sincere shock along with her natural scent.

Lily looked just as stunned as James did.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JAMESY OLD BOY, WHAT'RE YOU DOING _ALL_ THE WAY OVER _THERE?!_" Sirius, who was standing neatly inside his hoop, was drawing even more attention to James who was looking completely flustered.

"Er—" Twycross started. "This has never happened before…"

"_AWW,_" Sirius called out mockingly, still laughing as he talked. "NOW WE ALL KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU THINK _DESTINATION_."

"MISTER BLACK," Professor McGonagall boomed from her spot. "M-MISTER POTTER," she said, looking appalled at James with a slightly pink face. She didn't know who to deal with first. "THIS IS A _PUBLIC_ HALL," she said, staring at James with an offended expression. "FOLLOW DIRECTIONS AND GO BACK TO YOUR POSITION."

James was now on the floor, his eyes staring hard at the ground. He couldn't meet Lily's gaze.

Very red in the face, he ruffled his hair up and pulled off his glasses. "Sorry Professor," he mumbled, still having that faint fruity scent under his nose. "I-I didn't mean to… It just happened… I mean, it's not like…"

"Go back to your position, Potter," Professor McGonagall said more softly.

Lily went to James's side and tried to help him up. However, James pulled away without looking at her, and turned on spot. Another loud crack was heard and James was next to Remus.

Though only five feet away, Sirius turned as well and Apparated next to James with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Extraordinary…" James and Sirius heard Twycross mutter.

Sirius smirked and looked pointedly at Remus, then turned his face towards James. "You just missed your chance, Prongs! Now would have been the perfect time to have kissed her! You hear the girls giggling about how romantic your Apparating into her hoop is?"

Remus resisted the urge to roll his eyes and concentrated on James. He swallowed a smile. "Er… James?" he asked timidly.

James stared at nothing, his mind still hooked on strawberries and what had just happened. "Did you see how close she was to me?" he asked to no one in particular. His blush was now surfacing, spreading from his cheeks to his whole face. "It was like she was eating me."

"Er…" Remus said, not knowing what to say.

"And you know what I realized?" James asked, again to know one, staring at nothing. "That's how our relationship is. She's eating me. It's always me who looks for love from her… and she just… eats me up. And I let her — both physically and mentally. Whether it's her hands and body consuming me or… the very thought of her taking control of my mind…" James let out a hollow laugh. "If I don't do something soon, I won't…. I'll be all gone; eaten up… left to be digested into who-knows-what…"

Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Er, James? You're acting a bit…"

James jerked his head towards his long-haired best friend and stared determinedly at him. "I'm not arrogant anymore, am I?"

Sirius frowned. "No, not recently."

James cracked a smile. "I used to love being arrogant."

Remus stepped in. "What happened?"

James glanced at a confused looking Lily who was listening to a chattering Holly. "I found something else to love."

Sirius gagged and swept his hair out of his eyes. "Will you shut it about love and Lily and eating and just ask her to be your girlfriend? It's not _that_ hard."

Still smiling, James cocked his head. "It was hard."

"A-And now it's not?" Peter squeaked from behind.

James looked confident, sticking out his chest and running a hand through his hair. "No, not anymore… You see how she tried to help me up?" His face gave off a certain new light. "I now know everything I need to know to finally win her heart completely."

Sirius's gaze shifted from James to Lily, then back to James. "Are you sure? You're a bit wounded. Think you can handle the rejection again?"

James smirked. "I won't be rejected this time. I'm sure of it."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter gave James a quizzical look.

James grinned, glancing at Lily and meeting her gaze. His eyes twinkled. "Let's just say… this Christmas is going to be one of our bests."

---

**AN**: R&R?


	14. I'm Not Your Boyfriend

**AN**: Well, the response was certainly delightful. This is for you all.

J.K. Rowling owns everything, everything ,everything…

--

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.

A clatter of sound could be heard from where Sirius was sitting, in a huge squishy armchair next to the common room's burning fire. He looked up away from his chocolate frog and turned his head towards the noise.

It was coming from the direction of the girls' dormitory.

He quickly jumped to his feet and ran over towards the door, instinctively placing his hands on the handles of two brown leather bags, pulling them out of the owner's grasp. "Do worry, love, I've got it," Sirius murmured with a quirky smile.

Holly looked startled as she felt the weight leave her arms. She grinned instantly, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Oh, hullo Sirius. Thank you," she said kindly. Her deep brown eyes flickered with electricity.

A rush of excitement was drifting in the air, as students were crowding around the common room, doors opening and closing, the annoying grumbles surfacing from the Fat Lady. People were chattering animatedly about their winter holiday plans, most dressed tightly in warm muggle clothes and laughing.

Holly had her long elegant hair in a lose ponytail, tucked underneath a white and teal beanie with earflaps and her bangs messily covering her eyes. Half her face was hidden away in a long stylish scarf. She blushed again as she followed Sirius away from the center of the common room, giving apologetic nods to the students being pushed out of the way by the arrogant boy.

"So what are your plans for the holidays?" Sirius asked once he put down Holly's luggage.

Holly bit her lip before replying, very aware of Sirius's unabashed action of looking her up and down. She blushed under his approving stare. "Oh, nothing special. Just going home is all. You know how it is, seeing the family and whatnot."

Sirius settled on her face, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Oh?" he said. "Sounds… not exciting."

Holly laughed, her dreamy eyes clouded with amusement. "I'm sure it doesn't." She smiled. "What about you? Any big plans for you?"

Sirius grinned immediately. "Going to Africa."

"_Really?!_"

"No, but wouldn't that have been wicked cool?"

Holly's expression dropped.

Sirius chuckled. "Actually, Lupin and I are crashing at James's all winter," he said excitedly. His dimples surfaced as he inched near her. "It's going to be brilliant!"

Holly laughed again as she flipped her long ponytail. "Well, that _does_ sound exciting. I'm quite envious."

"You are, are you?" Sirius said with a daring smile. He raised his eyebrows. "Well, I'm inviting you to come join me, if you'll accept it."

"Someone's a bit bold, aren't they?"

This time Sirius laughed. "Well, I'd love to see you over the break," he said quietly. "I have missed you, you know."

"Really?" Holly asked playfully. "Little ol' me?"

Sirius shook his head. "You certainly _are not_ old," he said seriously.

"And here I was… thinking I was last year's flavor."

Sirius frowned. "Don't ever think that, love. I'd take you any day."

Holly rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I'm flattered to hear that."

Sirius grinned. "You should be."

"Well listen, maybe when you lose that cocky attitude, I'll come visit you, okay?" Holly said flippantly. "As for now, let's just see how far the train ride will take us." She sighed. "I wish the train would arrive sooner."

Sirius smirked. "Love, I could make that train ride last a lifetime."

Holly crinkled her nose.

Sirius chuckled. "So you're _that_ excited to get out of here?"

Holly smiled dreamily. "Yes," she said softly. "Though I love this place, I've been feeling a bit lonely lately. So seeing my parents would definitely do me some good."

"You've been feeling lonely?!" Sirius gasped in mock-surprise. "Well then," he said, reaching over and brushing a hand over her waist, "we'll have to fix that, won't we?" He wiggled two suggestive eyebrows.

Holly sighed again, unfazed by his rude and entirely inappropriate gesture. She was quite used to it. "I always forget you think you can fix everything."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow, "What do you mean 'I think—'?"

"Oh, right, I always forget that, too," Holly interrupted quickly before he could finish his sentence. "You're incapable of thinking."

Sirius snorted. "You're really funny, you know that?"

Holly smiled cheekily. "It's a gift."

Sirius shook his head. "So really, tell me, why are you lonely?"

Holly's smile faltered a little. "Mm, don't worry about it. It's nothing."

Sirius leaned in towards her, pouting at her as his dark hair fell into his eyes. "Holly," he said gently.

"Don't give me that," Holly laughed, pushing his face away. "And really, don't worry. I get to flirt with the muggle boys around my neighborhood," she reasoned teasingly.

Sirius scoffed, pulling away from the brilliant brunette. "Are you _trying_ to make me jealous?"

Holly blinked, and said innocently, "Me? Make you jealous? Now Sirius," she said in mock-concern, her voice flowery and soft, "why would I want to do that?"

"Hm," he pondered, stroking his chin. "I dunno, you tell me. I certainly can't think of anything."

Holly shook her head with a smile, looking around the packed room. Though the fire was burning, and there was heat coming from the student body, she couldn't help but feel a little chilly. "No, Sirius, I'm not trying to make you jealous. You know better than I do that no girl would ever choose another boy over you," she finally said, her voice dripping with light sarcasm. She wrapped her arms around her thin frame, pulling her winter jacket more closely together.

Sirius noticed this instantly. "Are you cold?" he asked her, finally deciding to stop leaning and step over her brown bags. He ignored her attack on his high self-esteem.

"A little," she admitted.

Immediately, without asking, Sirius put his arms around her, breaking into her bubble and hugging her tightly. Of course, boys like Sirius could do whatever they wanted, right? No need to ask permission. He nestled into her neck, resting his cheek just above her scarf. He heard her sigh against his shoulder. "How's that?" he murmured against her skin.

"Mm. You're warm," Holly whispered contently, stealing away all the body heat evolving from Sirius's body.

Sirius chuckled, shooting vibrations against the couple. "Muggle clothes can never beat a Sirius hug, eh?"

Holly inwardly rolled her eyes, laughing inside as she squeezed Sirius harder. She could feel the envious gawks of girls surrounding her, so she kept her eyes shut.

The two leaned into each for a while before Sirius pulled slightly away and looked down into Holly's face.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him in response to his movement, giving him a questioning stare.

"Hey," he said, a smile creeping onto his face. He looked roguishly handsome, with his neat, dark black hair in his eyes and his chin patterned with manly stubbles.

Holly wanted to touch his face. Instead, she bit her lip. "Hi," she replied.

Sirius loved how he was making her flustered, enjoying the small tint of pink spreading towards the surface of her face. He squinted, his gray eyes lighting up with excitement. "And how are you, Miss Holly?" he asked her warmly. "I haven't _really_ spoken to you in ages."

"Mm," she said dreamily. "It has been a while, hasn't it?"

Sirius faked a shudder. "Much too long, love. Did you miss me?"

Holly opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"Ah, who am I kidding? Of course you did," he said for her, grinning as he did. "So you don't need to tell me. Instead, I'd like to hear 'Oh Sirius!" he said dramatically. "My life hasn't been the same without you. Day by day goes by, and I'm just dying inside.'"

Holly laughed, hitting Sirius's shoulder. "What about me? Aren't I entitled to something just as novel?"

Sirius shook his head. "I already told you I missed you," he said brazenly. "And it's the truth," he added sincerely.

"Ah, yes," Holly said, giggling pensively. "But do you die inside when you're not with me?"

"Of course," Sirius quipped back. He never was one to be ashamed of his feelings. He then pouted. "Now me," he said, his puppy eyes done to the fullest effect.

Holly laughed again, shaking the hair out of her eyes. "Well… _maybe_ I missed you… just a little, perhaps."

Sirius's mouth twisted. "A big little?"

"Not really _big_, per say…"

Sirius sighed. "Oh, love, how you hurt my ego."

Holly snorted. "I don't think that's possible."

Sirius grinned. "Probably not."

Holly looked thoughtful. "Honestly, why is it that you're so full of yourself?"

The boy looked slightly taken aback. "Do you really think so?"

"Do I need to answer that?"

Sirius laughed and showed his teeth proudly. "Do you know of any other Hogwarts' student who passed their Apparation test last week?"

Holly grinned brightly. "James Potter."

"Ah," Sirius said, returning her grin. "I thought you might say that. Sorry, love, but he only_ learned _how to Apparate, meaning he's not legally allowed to do it. He's not of age, yet. And besides, even if he was, don't look so triumphant. That's not a very good comeback. He's just as cocky as I am! Actually, more, if you ask me."

Holly, though she privately agreed, just raised her eyebrows. "Oh really? How so?"

"'Look at me! Look at me!'" Sirius mimicked in a high voice. "'I'm James Potter! I'm sexy! And I'm the Quidditch captain!'"

Holly laughed. "Someone sounds bitter."

Sirius shook his head. "Never bitter, my dear. Just a little upset you think I'm as arrogant as he is."

"I never said that, _but now that you have_, I do."

Sirius scoffed. "I like to think I'm better than James, thank you very much," he said snottily. He gave her a sly grin. "I mean, he doesn't get _you_, now does he?"

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Black."

Sirius laughed.

"And not even _you_ get me," Holly continued, glancing at the students around her. She gazed back at the shaggy-haired boy, so charming, yet vulgar. The gray in his eyes looked clouded with… admiration? Holly inwardly shook her head. "There will be no 'getting' from anyone. I still dislike boys."

Sirius sighed happily, his arms inching up from her lower back and resting on her waist. "And I do love how you still let me touch you."

Holly narrowed her eyes, grabbing his arms and keeping them still in her hands. "Who said anything about you touching me?"

Sirius pulled slightly away. "Oh, did the rules change, now?"

"A little."

"Care to fill me in?"

Holly smiled mysteriously. "Not really."

Sirius pouted. "Holly," he whined, trying to move his hands, which were still in Holly's own. Obviously, he did it effortlessly, for if he really tried, he'd already have her pinned on the wall.

Holly shook her head. "You know," she said suddenly, letting go of Sirius's hands and moving her arms around his neck, "Do you know what I thought was even more impressive that you being able to Apparate?"

Sirius smirked, being distracted completely to the new subject. What could be more impressive than him? "What's that?" he challenged.

"How not only James could do it too," she said, "But at least he made it half-way across the hall."

Sirius chortled. "Holly, love, you found that impressive? He did that on accident!"

"Doesn't make it any less romantic."

"Aw," Sirius said, amusement clear in his voice. "Is that why you're saying I'm not allowed to touch you anymore? Because I didn't Apparate into your hoop?"

Holly resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes, that's exactly it."

"Hm, so that's what you want? A big romantic gesture?" Sirius asked, a mocking grin arriving on his face. "Because darling, I can give you romantic."

Holly cocked her head. "Wow. I knew you were dense, but so dense that you couldn't hear the sarcasm…"

Sirius opened his mouth to retort something witty, but stopped, realizing there was a certain seriousness to Holly's tone. "Wait, are you really saying I'm not allowed to…" he trailed off, thinking of the best words to use without upsetting her. 'Sexmate' certainly did not apply. "Be your only," he coughed. "Boy?"

Holly smiled lazily, appearing almost sad, staring straight into the boy's questioning face. If she didn't know better, she would have thought he looked a bit apprehensive. "That's what I'm saying."

His face fell.

"Did I miss something? An owl perhaps? One with a letter attached to it, telling me about this new decision?"

Holly looked slightly confused. "Sirius—"

"Or at least one squawking very loudly from its lungs, 'Sirius! Holly wants nothing to do with—!'"

"_Sirius!_" Holly said loudly, cutting him off. "You can't honestly be getting upset over the fact that I don't want to be another one of your little girl friends who, when you feel like it, you decide to talk to them."

Sirius frowned. "That's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

Holly looked a little appalled, any playful pretenses out the window. "We haven't talked in almost a year, Sirius!"

"But it's not my fault!" Sirius said loudly. It's just like a boy to never take responsibility. "It wasn't like I didn't want to talk to you… you just… never were around. And summer doesn't count," he said pointedly. "And you know, I didn't see _you_ making any effort to talk to me, either."

"Oh really?" Holly said slowly, lifting her eyebrows effortlessly. "Because I swear I'd say 'hi' to you whenever I saw you. In fact," she said, looking up, "I think I flirted with you one or two times."

Sirius opened his mouth, but closed it, knowing what she was saying was true. "Well," he sniffed condescendingly. "It was a mutual decision not to date and be lovey-dovey. We both agreed on no public displays of affection. Though this hug doesn't count… And anyway, you told me yourself you didn't want a relationship… And I don't have 'little girl friends,'" he added snottily as an after-thought.

Holly gave him the most disbelieving look she could muster.

Sirius ignored it. "Listen, Holly, you can't go on blaming it all on me. If you truly felt that strongly about my…" he looked for the right words. "_Escapades_, you certainly never said anything about it. My powers are limited if you don't say anything."

Holly stared at him for a moment before she shot him her brightest grin, her eyes hazy and soft. "Right," she replied. She bent down to pick up her bags.

Sirius stopped her.

"Holly," he growled, irritated by her reaction.

"Hm?" Holly said, looking at him sweetly. "Sirius, you're preventing me from picking up my bags. I have to start hauling them out towards the station."

Sirius licked his lips. "Then I'll carry them for you."

Holly smiled and shook her head a little too aggressively. "No, no. It's okay. I can do it myself."

Sirius snorted. "Holly, these bags weigh a ton; you almost fell coming down those stairs," he stated.

Holly blushed. "Ah yes, I did," she replied matter-of-factly. "But that was different."

"How so?"

Holly pulled out her wand. "I have magic on my side," she explained.

Sirius inhaled, not giving up. "Fine," he said, "Then I'll walk with you to the station. I'm not done talking to you."

Holly sighed lazily. "Fine."

"Right then," Sirius said, pulling her towards his bags. "You ready, love?"

Holly's smile was pensive. "Yes," she said idly.

--

"Where's Sirius?" James asked Peter and Remus as the trio walked down the dormitory stairs.

"Dunno," both Peter and Remus grunted in unison.

All three of them were carrying their trunks down to the common room, having had their things packed up and ready to go.

James scratched his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "Strange…" he muttered. "He told me he was going to get something to eat real quick…"

Remus looked at James after he set his bags on the ground near the fireplace. "All that boy ever does is eat," he said, an amused smile on his face. He looked at the time and sighed. "Well, he better be here soon. The train is going to leave in twenty minutes, and we've yet to leave for the carriages!"

James nodded his head but didn't look bothered. "Don't worry, Moony, you know Sirius. He'll make it. He always does."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I wish he'd just do things normally for once."

James laughed, looking around the dense common room. "You're so unimaginative, Moony. Go read a book, will you?"

Remus snorted. He too looked around the room, watching the students filing out every few moments or so. "Shall we go then? People are starting to leave."

Peter nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, can we?"

James frowned a bit, his head staring directly at the girl's dormitory. "Yeah…" he said slowly, looking back at his friends. "Let's."

The trio each grabbed their trunks and began pushing through the crowds, heading towards the portrait hole. As they got out, a young blond girl was making her way inside.

James stopped her.

"Er," he started, putting his bags down onto the gray, stony floor. He struggled immensely, trying to remember the girl's name.

It was useless.

"Excuse me," he said instead. He ignored her poorly concealed squeal. "Uh, have you seen L-…Sirius Black?"

The girl laughed nervously, looking flustered and unaware of James's changing train of thought. "Y-Yes," she said, looking towards the other boys, her face young and innocent. "He and that…that—" She made a small face. "_Holly girl_," she said, soundly almost sour, "were walking together towards the carriages…"

"Ah," James said, smiling knowingly. He shot a glance at Remus. "Okay, thanks," he said to the girl. "Er, happy holidays."

The girl giggled happily. "You too," she said, giving him an adoring smile as she pushed passed James and his friends, going in towards the portrait hole, but not before looking back for one more glimpse at the handsome Quidditch captain.

"See?" James said to Remus as he heard the portrait door close. "I told you. You don't have to worry about Sirius."

Remus smirked a little, almost laughing. "I noticed you were going to say 'Lily,'" he commented.

Red crept into James's cheeks. "And?" he said, not denying it.

Remus smiled. "And nothing. Just thought it was interesting is all…" he said.

James rolled his eyes and picked up his bags, continuing to walk, with Peter following him as he did.

Remus, however, stayed put.

James looked back, "What are you doing?"

"And I also noticed you said 'thanks' to that girl."

James looked at Peter, as if to say 'what is Remus talking about?' He looked back at the werewolf. "Okay… What of it? Is it a crime to show appreciation?"

Remus smiled again. "No, but for you, it almost is."

"How so?"

"I don't think you've ever said 'thank you' to anyone besides me, Sirius, and Peter before… and maybe, perhaps, Lily."

James looked indignant. "I have, too!"

Remus started walking, pushing past James and Peter. He snorted as he did, his crisp footsteps echoing against the walls. "No, you haven't. Never. I've always noticed it." He stopped walking, turning back and giving James a peculiar stare. "It was always the biggest flaw I found in you, James."

James huffed, oblivious to the deep meaning Remus was trying to express. "You're very observant today, aren't you? But _thank you_," he sneered at his friend. "I'm glad to know you think I have flaws."

"Everyone has flaws, James. It's what makes us want to be better… to change."

James waited for the werewolf to continue, overlooking the small whining sounds coming from the direction of Peter, whose weak little arms were shaking.

Remus chuckled, shifting his bags of heavy books in his arms. "My point is… You _have_ changed." He smiled warmly. "I'm proud."

--

Sirius slammed the carriage door shut, and looked intently at Holly, who stared absent-mindedly out the window.

"Okay, Holly, we're talking," Sirius asserted firmly.

Holly looked away at Sirius. "Oh? What about?"

Sirius flipped his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. "About you."

"What about me?"

There was a huge clang against the carriage, as it shook a little harshly against the ground. Sirius was on top of Holly, his hands tight around her wrists, pinning her against her seat.

She continued to look vaguely at him, her soft smile never leaving her face.

"You're beginning to really upset me," Sirius said through clenched teeth.

"Mm."

"Now," Sirius said, ignoring her lack of response. "Tell me, what is wrong with you?"

Holly stared back. "Nothing," she said simply.

Sirius let out a frustrated whine, staring at her blank face. "So what, you're just taking away the lovin' for no reason?"

Holly furrowed her eyebrows, ignoring Sirius's statement about 'the lovin'.' "_Not no reason_. But if you want to put it that way, then sure."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. An idea instantly sprang up in his head. He thought of a new approach. "Then kiss me," he said seriously.

Holly's lazy smile disappeared, and her eyes hardened. "I don't want to kiss you."

"Then there's definitely a reason," he said quietly.

The inside of the carriage turned silent. So silent, that all you could hear where the hoofs of invisible creatures from the outside.

Sirius's eyes darkened. "Holly," he said, glancing out the window. He could see the scarlet train coming in view. "Talk to me."

Holly smiled vaguely. "I am, silly."

The carriage stopped.

Sirius didn't move.

After a few moments, Holly inhaled almost impatiently. "Sirius, if you don't mind, could you get off of me? We're here, you know."

Sirius snorted. "Yes, thank you for pointing that out."

Holly looked at him expectantly.

"I'm not moving until you tell me why the bloody hell, all of the sudden, we're not friends anymore."

Holly frowned softly. "We were never really friends, were we?"

Sirius clicked his tongue. "Well, whatever it was that we were… I quite liked it. Why are you ending it?"

Holly cocked her head, her long bangs falling into her face. "Because there's nothing to end, Sirius! There's just you… and me. That's it."

Sirius smirked. "Ah, _finally_, an emotional response. Merlin, I've been waiting the whole ride for that."

Holly remained silent.

"Holly, love, you're cracking."

"Get off of me, Sirius."

"Holly." Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Holly. Holly. Holly. Holly. Holly. Holly," he tried, in an irritating voice.

He really could be childish.

Holly turned her head away, her arms struggling against his firm hold. "You're really annoying."

"Holly. Holly. Holly," he whispered, unblinking.

Much to Sirius's surprise and complete satisfaction, Holly dropped her head onto his shoulder and exhaled. "Sirius."

"Talk to me."

"You probably think you're the only guy who can get to me," Holly said against his black sweater.

He took the comment the wrong way. "Is that the reason? You think I'm vain?" He almost laughed. "Holly, that's never been a problem with us before."

"There is no 'us.'"

"And does that upset you?"

Holly shook her head no.

"Then?"

Holly sighed hopelessly. "I'm lonely."

"Then you definitely should not be pushing me away," Sirius said honestly, though he sounded quite conceited.

Holly scoffed.

Sirius blinked. "What about Lily?"

"That was my point."

Realization dawned on the dog. "Oh, right." Sirius sighed, running a hand through his perfectly trimmed hair. "I know the feeling."

Holly shook her head. "No, you don't."

This time Sirius scoffed, completely provoked. "_You think I don't understand? _What about James?! If Lily is always gone, then certainly James is gone just as much."

Holly remained still. "And when James is gone… You have Remus and Peter," she said easily.

"I—" Sirius stopped. She had him there. "Yes, well—" he stopped again, and inhaled deeply. "You have me."

Holly laughed humorously. "Right… I have you."

Sirius frowned at her response, tilting his head. "Holly… you _do_ have me."

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, moving his hands away from hers and resting them against her seat. "I thought we went over this. You and I both agreed—"

"Listen, Sirius," Holly interrupted, her voice tired and slightly emotional. "It's not even about that. I know what we agreed to. I still haven't changed my mind. I still hate boys. They're still stupid and complicated. And you know what? You're a boy, so I hate you. Now let me out."

"That's unfair," Sirius growled. "You can't just clump me into that same category. You never did before."

"Everyone has the ability to change," Holly countered back. "I think you should respect that."

"I don't get you," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "Do you want me to stop seeing other girls or something?"

Holly nearly laughed. "That would seem as if we were in a relationship. And last time I checked, we hadn't spoken to each other for almost a year."

Sirius sniffed. "Yeah, well, I can't help that! And you know, I—" he started, terrified of the next words coming out of his mouth. "I wouldn't mind it."

Holly lifted her eyebrows. "Mind what?"

"That is," Sirius said slowly, looking away. He coughed, but said confidently, "Being in a relationship."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Holly blushed furiously, unconscious of the fact that Sirius was blushing as well.

The two were silent, with Sirius still pushed up against the brunette. They didn't hear another carriage pull up behind them.

Holly shook her head, ignoring the overwhelming feelings pumping inside her. "Sirius, you don't mean that. I mean—" She groaned. "Ugh. It's not even about that. My feelings have nothing to do with you."

"Then why don't you want to be me with me?"

"What?" Holly asked, slightly shocked. "This is a completely new subject! The thought never even occurred to me!"

"Really? Never?" Sirius inquired, looking slightly offended.

"Well… did it for you?"

"Every day I see you."

"Oh," Holly said again. She blinked and swiped the bangs out of her eyes. "Well, when I was flirting with you and…" she trailed off. "Well, you never really replied, so I thought maybe—"

"Never a 'maybe,'" Sirius interrupted softly. "Never, _ever,_ think that."

Holly remained quiet.

Sirius thought hard, his mind working away through every cog of suave and charm he knew. He decided for honesty, something he used only in desperate measures. "Listen, I know you think I'm really into myself—"

Holly let out a small snort.

"—but you know I cannot refuse you, Miss Holly. If I'm arrogant, it's because of you. I mean," he let out a laugh, "I'm the only boy in Hogwarts who gets to kiss you! The beautiful 'prude' of Hogwarts! And I _know_ for a fact that boys want you, I hear it all the time. And truthfully, I think of how lucky I am that I even got to make you sigh the way you do when we…" He trailed off. He shook his head almost disgustingly at himself. "Do you hear me?" he asked her. "I sound like James."

Holly giggled a little, still processing Sirius's words.

"See that?" Sirius said quietly, "only you could make me say things as bloody girly as that."

Holly's smile was lazy. "I-I dunno," she said, soundly slightly doubtful. "I regretted doing anything in the first place because… I knew I didn't want a relationship, because I knew boys would mess with me head. So that's what I did: I didn't have relationships. I thought maybe _one_ boy to satisfy my cravings could work but," she looked helpless. "It didn't. I was affected. I'm still affected."

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, thinking deeply. "Holly," he finally said, looking straight at her. "You… were my first. My beginning. And all the times we've done it… I certainly hope the last time we did it wasn't the last time."

Holly opened her mouth to say something, but Sirius's boyish impulses caused him to cut her off completely with a long, thoughtful kiss.

Goodness, Sirius was never one to contain himself.

There was a knock on the carriage door.

Sirius pulled away. "This is a very big step for me," he said seriously. "I've never been _nice_ with a girl."

Holly laughed and pushed him back against his seat as she grabbed the door handle.

Sirius rested his eyes, thinking of each and every girl he had ever slept with, and realized Holly was probably the only girl he enjoyed sex with the most. Not only was she his first girl, which implied tons of emotional feelings, but she was playful and daring, much unlike most of the other girls, slightly apprehensive and inexperienced.

"Holly? Is Sirius in there with you?" he heard someone say. He opened his eyes to see James staring with a small smile on his face. "Hey mate," he said hesitantly, aware he had just interrupted something. "Sorry to bother you lot, but, uh, the train's leaving."

Sirius mimicked Holly's trademark smile, the one with a lazy flair and hazy eyes to go with it. His eyes flickered towards Holly. "See you soon?"

Holly licked her lips.

--

The whistle of the scarlet train howled very loudly as its engine started to move. The compartments shook slightly as the locomotive began gaining speed.

"This compartment looks empty," James said to Remus, Peter, and Sirius, who were all breathing heavily, their bags over their shoulders. Each slid in swiftly and collapsed onto the seats after throwing their trunks towards the ground.

"I dunno about you all," Peter announced to the other boys, "But I'm going to sleep. I didn't get much sleep last night."

Sirius rolled his eyes, his body draped over his chair and his legs lying lazily off his seat. "That's because you take bloody all year to pack."

"Excuse me for not wanting to forget anything," Peter replied, patting his trunk affectionately. "It's that Snivellus's fault," he continued, looking at Sirius. "Ever since he and his Slytherin pals stole my belongings those years ago…" he said in disgust. "The slimeballs."

Sirius grinned, glancing over at Remus and James.

Remus had his eyes shut, his head leaning against the window as he listened to the conversation.

James was staring at nothing.

"You know—"

"Don't even think about it, Sirius," Remus muttered tiredly from his seat, his eyes still close. He could hear the mischief in Sirius's voice a mile away.

Sirius sulked. "But Moony!" he said, straightening up. "It's the last time we're anywhere near Hogwarts and its students! Just one little prank on Snivellus and I'll—"

"No," Remus said in a final tone, opening his eyes. "You are right. This is the last time we're anywhere near anything Hogwarts affiliated, which makes it even _more_ the reason not to do anything you'll make me regret. Wait until we're off the train, will you?"

Sirius crossed his arms. "Really, mate, you're no fun."

"Six years," Remus said, looking straight at Sirius. "_Six years_ it took me to finally get you to even _tell us_ you were thinking of pulling a prank on someone. You and James used to do it recklessly!"

Sirius hid a smile. "Yes, well, a big mistake that was… starting that trend where we would inform you about our plans."

"Someone needs to tell you 'no.'"

"But why you?"

Remus shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "Because if not me, then you'd have to listen to Wormtail."

Instantly, Sirius laughed out loud, turning his head towards the chubby blond boy. Not surprisingly, the boy had his eyes close, his mouth opening and closing every few seconds. "Looks like the oaf fell asleep."

He didn't notice Remus's quick and jealous glance.

After a moment's rest, Remus sighed loudly and rubbed his face before standing up. "I guess I'll be back," he said dully, grabbing a random book from his bag. He received a questioning look. "Prefect duty," he explained.

Sirius almost gasped. "What's this? Moony? Sounding unexcited about his prefect duties? Unbelievable."

Remus sent him a glare. "I'm tired. Telling first years to settle down doesn't sound like much to be thrilled about."

Sirius chuckled. "Get me something off the trolley, will you?"

He received grumble as the werewolf left the small room.

It was quiet.

Sirius immediately turned his head towards the silent James. "Prongs, you alright, mate?"

James still continued to look distracted. "Hm?" he replied, his hazel eyes inattentive and staring.

Sirius smirked. "Thinking?"

James sighed, ruffling his hair and pulling one leg up onto his seat. "Not really."

Peter grunted and shuffled.

Sirius's smile never went away. "You're terrible at lying."

James grinned a little. "I was thinking about inviting Lily over, since, you know… Mum and dad are going to be gone and all…"

Sirius raised two eyebrows in alarm. "Inviting Lily? That's a big step, isn't it?"

The crazy-haired boy shifted his glasses, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Yeah, I know…"

"Do you think she'll say yes?"

"That's what I'm wondering."

Sirius laughed. "You sounded confident last week."

James shot Sirius a small glare. "Well, yeah, but that's different. Last week's confidence was influenced by my sudden realization that she was cracking. Now, it's like…"

"Prongs, mate, don't ever doubt yourself."

James grinned. "And people always ask me why I'm so arrogant."

Suddenly, Sirius sat up straight, leaning towards the stag. "You get that too?" he asked, almost surprised.

"All the time," James said casually, lifting an eyebrow. "But it's no big deal. You and I both know why we get questioned about our things like that."

"Jealously," they both said in unison.

Sirius laughed again, shaking his head and letting his hair land softly onto his forehead. "Ah, yes. I mean, I hear it a lot… but I don't think I'd go as far as to say I'm arrogant."

James agreed, nodding his head. "It's not like we're unaware of our abilities… we can't exactly deny something so obvious…"

"Yeah!" Sirius replied. "Honestly, why are people so bothered by it?"

If anyone else were in the room, they would have rolled their eyes at their high self esteem.

James laughed. "So seriously," he said, pushing Sirius lightly against the shoulder. "You and Holly again, huh?"

Sirius looked half amused, half exasperated. "I dunno."

This time, James straightened up abruptly. "You don't know? _But it's Holly!_"

Sirius shook his head with a gloomy-like flair. "No kidding." He sighed. "She's not saying it, but I think she wants a relationship."

James gawked at the dog. "A relationship? Holly Bennet? There's no way."

"Right?" Sirius said, agreeing with James's statement. "And that's why it's so bloody confusing! I have no idea what's up with her… Oh, and I invited her to comes stay with us, just to let you know."

James looked inspired. "You asked her? Did you really? And she said yes?"

Sirius couldn't hide his grin. "What would you do if I said she said 'no'?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Well… if Holly said 'no' to _you_, then my chances with Lily saying 'yes' are even lower than I initially thought…"

"Holly didn't really reply."

"Oh."

The two got silent, listening to the silent snores of a ever-sleeping Peter.

Sirius sighed. "I guess… in a way, I kind of did take advantage of her, didn't I?"

James shifted his body so that he was staring directly at Sirius. He looked confused. "What brought this about? Did she say that?"

Sirius twisted his mouth. "Well, not exactly… but it was implied throughout the whole time we were talking."

"Oh is that what you were doing?" James asked, a small smile twitching at his lips. "In the carriage… _talking?_ I was thinking something completely different."

Sirius laughed. "Pervert."

James chuckled. "It's your reputation."

As a joke, Sirius replied, "And last time I checked, it was yours, too."

However, James didn't laugh. He frowned. "Yeah…"

Sirius inhaled deeply. "Listen, mate, I know—"

There was a huge knock on the door. Immediately afterwards, Holly's face appeared. She dully blushed when she saw James, but she showed no embarrassment. "Hello," she said softly into the room. "Lupin told me you'd be in here," she said, looking at Sirius.

Sirius's normally relaxed posture tensed a little.

But only a little.

"Holly, love, hello."

The two stared at each other, Sirius holding a casual and lazy smile.

James coughed.

Holly idly looked at James. "And how are you, Potter?" she asked kindly.

James returned her smile. "I'm good." He stood up, glancing at Sirius, whose eyes didn't leave the brunette. "Actually, Holly, er, is Lily on the train? Have you seen her?" He couldn't resist the questions anymore.

Holly looked a little sad. "Uh, yeah, she is," she said awkwardly. "She's with Lupin…"

James nodded his head. "Ah, right," he grinned at the couple. "Well, I'm gonna go see if I can steal her away from Moony." He gave Holly a charming smile and looked at Sirius. "I'll see you two later." And with that, he pushed passed Holly and opened the door. "And oh," he said, looking at the two again with a small smirk on his face. "If you two are going to do _anything_, make sure you're aware of him," he said, pointing at Peter.

Holly laughed. "Goodbye, Potter."

He closed the door.

"So," Sirius instantly said when he heard the door shut. He raised his eyebrows. "Why were you looking for me?"

Holly didn't say anything. She had taken her beanie off, so her long hair swished as she moved, flowing behind her back as she walked towards Sirius.

"Enjoyed the sample, did you?" Sirius joked, referring to their earlier kiss. "Came back for more?"

Holly inhaled, taking a seat right next to him. "Sirius…"

"Yes?" Sirius immediately responded, sounding quite pleased with himself as he stared at the goddess mere inches away from him. He was resting on his elbow.

"I wouldn't mind spending the holidays with you."

He dropped his tone. "Do you mean that?"

"I do."

Sirius's adorable dimples appeared as he leaned in and grabbed Holly's hair. "Your hair has gotten really long."

Holly smiled. "I'm aware."

Sirius looked at her, still fingering her silky smooth locks. "I _really_ like it."

A small pink crept up Holly's face, but her deep brown eyes emitted nothing. "Do you?"

Sirius sighed impatiently as he felt tension rising between them.

The good kind of tension.

"I do."

Holly felt his twitching desire, like a tidal wave washing over her. He leaned forward, the sweet manly smell of soap and roguishness floating around her. She sucked in a breath.

"Sirius," she said, knowing he was getting edgy, "Pettigrew is still in the room."

"You know…" Sirius mused out loud, staring at Holly. "I always wanted to have sex in this train."

Holly pushed him away.

--

"_Evans!" A sing-song voice rang out._

_Lily inwardly cursed and turned around. "What?" the fourteen-year-old girl snarled._

_James's impish grin was completely youthful and boyish. His hair was sticking out from every angle, making him look irresistibly cute._

"_You're spending Christmas with me."_

"_WHAT?" Lily gasped loudly, staring at him. She thought quickly for any sign she might have missed that said she was going to be spending Christmas with the Potters, for there was no way he'd be spending Christmas with her family. "Y-You're lying!"_

_James laughed. "Got your heart beating, though, didn't I?"_

_Lily narrowed her eyes._

_James smirked. "But actually, I'm not lying, Evans."_

_Lily raised an eyebrow. "You just confirmed you were, Potter."_

_James shrugged. "I lied about that."_

_Lily moaned. "Listen, just stop talking to me, okay? You're giving me a headache."_

_James pushed her a little, his athletic arms teasing her slightly._

"_What was that for?"_

"_Just felt like doing it. Anyway, can't wait for Christmas," he replied, starting to turn and run off._

_Lily grabbed him. "Wait. What do you mean? You can't be serious."_

_James looked at her, his hazel eyes challenging and mirthful. "Oh, but I am," he said seriously._

_Puberty had hit James quite nicely at the age of fourteen, and his hormones were violent._

"_How so?" Lily asked icily._

"_Don't make it seem a lot harder than it is, Evans. It's simple really. You. Me. Christmas."_

"_I don't see how the bloody hell you got that idea, Potter!"_

_James's smile was condescending. "Ah, Evans," he said, leaning in towards her. "Don't you know? You and me? We're meant to be."_

_Lily clenched the books in her hands. She was not amused. "Poetic," she said through gritted teeth._

_James grinned. "You're spending Christmas with me," he said again, as if that explained everything._

"_You're out of your mind, you arrogant little prat! What makes you think I'd spend Christmas with you? To even think that you'd __**ask**__ me such a thing—"_

_James laughed loudly, grabbing her hand._

_Lily gagged, trying to pull out of his grasp._

"_You misunderstood," James said. "I'm not asking you. I'm telling you."_

--

"Moony," James said once he found the light-haired boy scolding a younger boy who reminded him strongly of a smaller version of Sirius.

"It was an accident!" James heard the little boy saying.

He chuckled.

Remus rolled his eyes, telling the child to go back to his room and stay there. "Here, have a book. It'll do you some good," he said, shoving his own book into the kid's hands. The child grimaced, but dejectedly walked back inside his compartment.

Remus sighed and smiled tiredly at James. "First years."

James laughed, appreciating Remus's honest efforts for the first time.

"So… did you want to talk to me, Prongs?"

"Er, have you seen—"

"She's in there," Remus interrupted, pointing at a room. "She looked tired, so I told her I'd take care of everything." He smiled faintly. "How's that for irony?"

James frowned, looking at the compartment. "Is everything okay?"

Remus shook his head. "I dunno. Why don't you go and find out for yourself?"

James grinned. "Maybe I will."

As Remus watched James knock onto the compartment door and slowly walk inside, a quiet, unexplainable feeling overcame him.

He stood alone…

No books, no friends…

Staring.

--

James knocked onto the door before sliding it open. He smiled when he saw her, sitting beside the window with her arms around her knees. Her beautiful red hair was pushed to one side, her bangs out of her face. Her bright green eyes flickered towards him, acknowledging his presence.

"Hello," he said timidly.

Lily returned his smile. "Hi," she said softly.

He took that as a good response, and at once walked inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Mind if I sit?" James asked her, pointing at the empty seat next to her.

Lily shook her head.

"Are you alright?"

Lily laughed. "That's the last time you're allowed to ask me that."

James grinned awkwardly. "Well, Moony mentioned something about you not feeling well…"

Lily inhaled. "I'm just a bit tired, is all."

"Did you sleep any?"

Lily blinked. "Not really."

James frowned, his charismatic eyes enveloping with concern. "Something troubling you?"

Lily looked straight at him, taking in his appearance. His hair was still wild, black, and all over the place. His frameless glasses were parked neatly onto his face, sharp and elegant, emitting a sense of intelligence. He had a dark dress shirt on, each button closed up until the top button, which he left open for breathing purposes, or so he says. He looked sophisticated and older, completely appealing to Lily, who was used to him having his Hogwarts' uniform messily untucked and his sweaters on backwards.

Yeah, Lily was used to seeing him looking like he just got out of bed with someone.

"So many things," she finally answered, blushing at how she noticed he knew she was looking at him. "Everything and nothing."

James hid a smirk. "Care to tell me some of them?" he asked, honestly interested.

Lily gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Not really."

James cocked his head. "Then can I interest you in some distraction?"

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "And exactly what are you implying, James?"

James looked innocent, shifting in his seat and moving towards her. "Nothing you wouldn't want me to do, Lily."

The silence was deafening.

"You still want to kiss me, don't you?" Lily asked, completely grim.

"Always."

"James," Lily groaned, shutting her eyes.

James instantly placed a hand on her knee. "I didn't come in here for that," he quickly said.

Lily opened one eye. "You didn't?"

James didn't comment on her disappointed tone. "Er, no. I came in here…" he flushed. "To ask you something."

Lily opened both eyes, urging him to continue.

James inhaled. "Well… I was just wondering…. That is to say… er," he started, unsure of how to ask without implying anything vulgar or explicit.

"Yes?"

He exhaled. "WouldyouliketospendChristmaswithme?"

"Confidence, Potter. You've been lacking it lately."

James blinked. "W-What?"

Lily laughed, shaking her head. Her hair fell into her face as she looked at James with amusement. "I couldn't understand you. I think you were too nervous, you kind of just mumbled…"

James gulped, but shook away his shaky feelings. "What do you mean I've been lacking confidence lately?"

Lily's smile was warm. "I mean that… you seem more real."

Confusion never left James's face.

"Not so sure of yourself, are you, James?"

James sniffed. "Am too."

Lily looked doubtful, rolling her eyes at his stubbornness. "Then ask me again. Whatever you were trying to say… ask me again."

James tilted his head, looking at the flawless face of Lily Evans. She looked… scared. He started tracing mindless shapes on her knee and took in a shaky breath. "Would… you like to spend Christmas with… me?"

Lily gazed at him, her eyes thoughtful and considerate.

"No."

"Why not?!"

"It's too complicated."

"C'mon Lily," James tried greatly. "A whole lot of us are staying at my house! My parents are going to France. It'll be loads of fun. Even Holly is going!" he said, quit aware he wasn't even sure if Holly was going or not.

Lily licked her lips. "Holly's going too?"

James blinked, glad he got her interested. "Yes."

"Well…" Lily said hesitantly, looking away.

"I think it'd be nice," James said softly.

"You certainly are selfish, aren't you, Potter?"

James snorted. "What? Where did that come from?"

Lily didn't look mad or anything, just curious. "Did you ever stop to think as to why I wouldn't want go?"

"……Er."

"I thought so."

James sighed, stretching both legs in front of him and pulling one leg over the other. "I'm sorry. I'll try to be less selfish. Tell me, why wouldn't you want to go besides 'it's too complicated'?"

Lily was silent before she put her legs down too, grabbing James's hand and pushing it towards him. "Wouldn't it be awkward?"

James swallowed. He looked at her gently. "Why would it be awkward, Lily?"

"Because we know each other differently."

James smiled slowly. "I like to think of that as a good thing."

"Better than how I'm thinking of it."

James frowned, but ignored the comment. "So, will you?"

"No."

"_Lily._"

Lily bit her lip. "James, if I do go… what's in it for me?"

James grinned. "Me."

Lily moaned in frustration. "Absolutely not, then."

James grabbed her hands, pulling her towards him. "I need to talk to you," he said quietly, very seriously.

His mysterious voice caused her to raise both her eyebrows. "Then talk," she replied, just as quiet.

James shook his head. "It's too important for us to discuss in a train."

Lily rolled her eyes, letting her hands stay limp in his. "What could possibly—" She stopped, and sucked in her breath. James was centimeters away from her lips.

He moved one hand away from hers, and let it glide up her arm, past her neck, and into her hair. "I'm not your boyfriend," he muttered. "I'm not your boyfriend, I know."

She felt the grip on her hand intensify.

She didn't do anything about it.

'_I'm not your boyfriend, I know'_ kept ringing through her ears loudly, so loudly that she almost didn't hear his next words.

"And it's killing me."

--

**AN**: Ah, I missed writing some good old fluff. Yeah, I had to write about Holly and Sirius, because I found Sirius needed some action since James seemed to be getting all of it. And also, don't you all agree Remus should get some? After all, he actually _needs_ it to keep his condition at bay (laughs). Anyway, it may seem like my plot is going nowhere, but don't worry… :) I mean, at least, _I know what happens next._

I've really missed you guys. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll update as soon as I can. The reason this was so late to that author's note is because it's AP testing week, and I've been cramming! R&R!


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